


Something Good out of Something Bad

by captaincastle



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, F/M, Shane Walsh Lives, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2018-12-07 07:22:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 52,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11618742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captaincastle/pseuds/captaincastle
Summary: In the zombie apocalypse with Shane Walsh by your side, there can always be something good out of something bad.





	1. Anniversary

**Author's Note:**

> I have several chapters planned and will be posting them as soon as they get written! Comments are appreciated!

A chill goes down your spine as you feel the prickle of Shane’s stubble on your neck. His lips place warm kisses on your skin. A sigh escapes your lips as you enjoy the feeling. He peppers kisses up to your jaw, then up to your ear. You feel his arms tighten around you as he whispers. 

“Mornin’. Happy anniversary darlin.” 

You open your eyes and smile up at him. His thick hair is a mess, and dark stubble lines his jaw. You reach up to press your hand on his face, feeling the stubble against your palm. 

“Happy anniversary,” you smile and pull him down for a kiss. 

“You forgot to shave last night,” you say as you reach for your glasses on the bedside table. 

“Didn’t forget, left the razor in my locker at the station. Gotta go early this mornin’ and shave.” There is a slight grumble to his tone. He wants to spend as much of the morning in bed with you until he has to leave. Especially since it’s your one year wedding anniversary. 

“You could skip your workout this morning? Stay here with me?” you ask as you began to comb your fingers through his hair. 

Shane has several weaknesses when it comes to you, but his hair being played with is a big one. 

“What’re you trying to say, girl? Huh? Got somethin’ else planned for me?” he grins and leans down for another kiss. 

He starts to kiss down your body, he ducks under the covers and pushes up your t-shirt to kiss your skin. Your fingers weave into his hair. 

Naturally, Shane’s phone begins to ring. You feel Shane’s hot breath against your stomach as he sighs in frustration. He sits up and looks at you apologetically. You knew what you signed up for when you married him, but he still can’t help but feel guilty when he has to leave early, or stay late. 

You reach for his phone and hand it to him. He answers it and gets off the bed. He moves towards the dresser and pulls open a drawer. He huffs again in frustration when he hangs ups. He sets his phone down on the dresser and pulls out a black t-shirt from the drawer. He pulls it on over his head and walks into the bathroom. 

Shane closes the door behind him, and you push the covers back to climb out of bed. You walk over to the closet and pull out Shane’s uniform to lay it on the bed. 

You hear the sink running, then hear Shane rinse out his mouth from brushing his teeth. 

“At least they’re letting me go early tonight!” he calls to you through the door. 

“What time?” you answer back. 

He opens the bathroom door, and you got a whiff of his cologne, and one of your favorite sights. Shane in his boxers and a black t-shirt. His hair is less wild, but the stubble remains on his jaw. 

“Hopefully before 5. I told ‘em our reservations are at 6,” he starts to walk towards the closet, but then he spots the uniform on the bed. “you didn’t have to get that for me.” 

“I know, but you’re stressed and I don’t want you stressed anymore today,” you said and smooth your hands up and down his arms. 

“Well thank you darlin. Saves me time.”

“You smell nice by the way. That one’s my favorite.”

“I know,” he smiles and smacks your butt as he moves past you to get his uniform. 

You flushed but shook your head at your goofball husband. 

“Do you need anymore t-shirts cleaned? I can throw some in the wash later.” 

“Nah baby don’t do laundry today, not on our day. Go get out our wedding album, I wanna look at it with you later,” he said as he tugs on his pants. 

“You do?” 

“Hell yeah I looked good that day, wanna reminisce!” he winks. 

You shove his chest, and he grabs your hand. 

“Sorry about having to leave early,” he kisses your hand. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, got a couple ideas,” he teases and pinches your tummy. 

“Get dressed Shane!” you tease and smack his hand away. 

“Damn that’s a sentence I don’t ever wanna hear again!” he smiles as he tucks his t-shirt in, and pulls on the uniform shirt. 

You roll your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile. 

“I see you smilin’ at me girl, can’t hide from this deputy,” he grins as he fastens the buttons of his shirt. 

You can’t help but laugh. 

Shane grabs his gun belt and buckles it around his waist. He cracks his neck and slides his gun into the holster. 

“Where’s my-?” he stops when he sees you have his watch in your hands. 

Shane has his routine in the mornings. He gets up to kiss you a bit and climbs out of bed to get ready for the day. He puts everything in it’s place and while some of it is organized chaos, he knows where things are. He doesn’t want you to get up earlier than necessary. And for so long he did things on his own, so he doesn’t need you to get everything for him. But on mornings like today, when he’s distracted and has to go early, it sometimes throws off his routine. And that’s why he’s grateful he has you. 

You provide the balance he needs. 

“What would I do without you?” he smiles and slides the watch on his wrist. 

“What would I do without you?” you reply. 

“Not have as much fun probably,” he scrunches his nose and kisses your cheek. “Bye baby, have a good day ok? I’ll see you tonight. We’ll try and leave by 5:30.” 

“Love you, be safe. And I’ll be ready. Tell Rick I said hey!” 

“Love you, see you tonight!” Shane calls as he heads out the door. 

You smiles to yourself as you walk into the bathroom for your shower. You always love date night with Shane. He’s always so fun. He makes everything fun, but date nights are something you always look forward to. You get to dress up a little, and have a romantic evening. Shane is actually pretty romantic when he’s not bogged down with work. 

That’s why he gets irritated when his schedule is interrupted. He knows it’s gonna happen, and you feel sorry for him today. You know he’s excited about tonight. 

First wedding anniversary, it’s special. 

You bought a nice dress for the occasion, and you got a new pair of lingerie as well. 

Date night always ends in sex. 

But this time it’s a must! It’s a celebration. You’ve been married for a whole year and it’s exciting. You’re giddy from the memories and excited for what’s to come. After a whole year, Shane still makes you weak in the knees. 

He knows he does, which is what’s worse. But his heart belongs to you. He wants to please you and care for you. He’s incredibly loyal. 

You’re grinning like an idiot thinking about him while you shower. Which makes you laugh because if Shane was there, he’d say something dirty to tease you a bit. 

You think about the year you’ve had being married to him. It wasn’t without it’s struggles. Sure you fought and argued about things, that’s what couples, but you always made up.  
The arguments happen less and less now that you’ve found your groove as a married couple. Little things pop up here and there, but the good in the relationship far outweighs the little annoyances. You fall in love with something new each day. And while some days you wanna hit him upside the head, you love him with your whole heart. 

When your shower is done, you wrap a towel around yourself and tidy up the bedroom. 

It wasn’t a huge mess, but some clothes are scattered here and there. You dump them all in the wash, even though Shane wanted you to get to relax. But all you could think about was how un-sexy it would be if one of you trip over a pair of Shane’s pants on the floor. So into the wash they go. 

You hum happily as you walk into the kitchen to eat something for breakfast. You stop and smile at the pictures of you and Shane on the fridge. Some days you don’t stop to stare, since you see them every day. But seeing your wedding photo stands out. There are tons of cute pictures of you and him, but the wedding one really makes you smile. 

Everything is making you flush in memory. 

Finally you get dressed for the day to run some errands. You double check that you know where the lingerie is, and that Shane won’t see it til later. Also you dig out the photo album from the wedding. You wanted to flip through it so bad. You’ve seen the pictures dozens of times, but you want to wait for him. 

You only have a couple errands to run. You wait til the clothes are washed, then you put them in the dryer and start a second load before you leave. 

You run your errands and grab a bite to eat for lunch. You thought about taking Shane something, but you assume he’d be on patrol with Rick right now. 

So you go home. You finish up the laundry, fold the clothes, and put them away. You finish up a couple things and look at the clock to see the time. It’s almost 3:30 pm. 

You wonder if it’s too early to start getting ready, but you want to do something different with your hair. And with the humidity, your hair isn’t going to cooperate unless you use a lot of hair products. Since that always give you difficulty you might as well start now. 

You set your phone down on the counter and start in on your hair. You’ve got bobby pins in your mouth, and you’re trying to adjust your hair how you like when your phone buzzes. 

The buzz on the counter is loud and makes you jump. You look down at the caller ID and see your contact photo for Shane on your phone. You put the bobby pins on the counter, and grab the phone with one hand to answer it. With your other hand you’re still holding your hair in place. 

“Hi!” you greet him enthusiastically but the second he speaks, you know something’s wrong. “Shane? What’s wrong?” 

You hear him let out a shaky breath. 

“Rick’s been shot.”


	2. Pictures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2! Should be working on Chapter 3 soon!

You wake up with a gasp, suddenly remembering where you are. You jolt forward and feel the seatbelt press against your chest. 

“Whoa whoa,” you hear Shane’s voice and look to your left to see him in the driver’s seat of the car. 

It’s dark outside. The only lights are from the headlights and some scattered streetlights along the road. You feel a breeze, and see that Shane’s car door is open. It’s only now you fully register the car isn’t even moving. 

You’re stuck in a traffic jam outside of Atlanta. You can just see the city ahead. 

“You’re alright, we’re alright,” Shane says and reaches for your hand. 

You release your grip from the photo album in your hand and take his. Shane’s fingers lace with yours and he squeezes. 

“How long have I been asleep?” 

“Couple hours, didn’t wanna wake you.” 

“How long have we been here?” you rub your eyes, adjust your glasses on your nose, then rub the back of your neck. You feel a crick in it from sleeping awkwardly in the car. 

Shane lets go of your hand to rub the back of your neck. “Five hours,” he replies. 

“We haven’t moved at all?” your voice raises in fear. 

“Nope. Don’t think it’s gonna happen either. Might have to think of somethin’ else,” he says and continues to rub your neck. 

“Shane?” you look at him, feeling tears in your eyes. 

His hand stops massaging, but he left it on the back of your neck. 

“We’re gonna be ok darlin. Promise. C’mere.” He pulls you to him and he presses a kiss to your temple. 

You lean forward to kiss him but the seatbelt stops you. Shane cracks a smile and slides his hand down to unclick the seatbelt. He slides his hand back up and into your hair so he can pull you in for the kiss. 

His kiss is tender, and he gives you a soft smile when you pull away.

“Think I’m gonna stretch my legs,” you tell him. 

He nods and fiddles with the radio some more trying to pick up a broadcast. 

You step out of the car and a strange feeling hits you as you look around. 

Just the other day you were eating breakfast with Shane before he left for work. 

Things had been different since Rick had been shot. It took a toll on Shane, and you watched him become more cautious, and more serious about his work. 

Shane always took his work seriously. He never took it lightly, but he could be more loose than Rick about things. 

Not anymore. 

You watched him become protective of you in a way he never had before. You both had seen what Rick being in a coma did to Lori and Carl. You could tell the way Shane treated you after everything with Rick happened he understood how fragile life is. 

He’d done that anyway, made sure he was careful, especially after he met you. 

But after his partner and best friend was shot in front of his eyes, it changed his perspective. It hit him hard that it could’ve easily have been him. And it could’ve been you in that hospital alone crying for your husband in a coma. 

Shane was still in the healing process when everything started to go bad on the news. He saw you panic as you watched with wide eyes the things happening on tv. 

Things got worse over the next few days, and this morning, the news broadcast was worse than the others. 

“We need to pack,” Shane told you. 

You didn’t know what to even pack for. But you started with clothes. Shane had a gym bag and you stuffed it with clothes for both of you. Couple pairs of pants for each, several shirts, and as much socks and underwear that you could fit. You found an old backpack in the closet and cleared out the medicine cabinet and dumped it all in the backpack. 

You stuffed the backpack full of things you thought you would need. 

“What do we need?” you whispered aloud. Would you need food? Should you pack deodorant? Where would you sleep? What if you get a cold? 

You could hear Shane in the garage getting supplies. You’d ask him when he came back in. You felt so frazzled. 

You packed as much as you could and set the bags down in the living room by the door. You did a final sweep of the house, and saw the pictures of you and Shane on the fridge.   
You grabbed your favorite one and clutched it to your chest and started to cry. 

Overcome with fear and emotions, you fell to your knees sobbing. 

You heard the front door, and Shane came flying in. 

“You ready?” he called for you, and he grabbed the two bags to take them to the car when he saw you kneeling on the floor. 

Slowly he lowered the bags and walked over to you. He knelt to your level and cradled your face. 

“I love this picture,” you sniffled. Shock was taking over. 

“Me too. It’s my favorite,” he smiled softly, “carry a copy with me in my wallet.” 

“You do?” 

“Mhmm,” he hummed and rubbed the tears off your cheeks. 

You looked at his face, his eyes were heavy from lack of sleep and worry. Just a couple days earlier he saw Rick dead in the hospital. You stayed awake with him all night that night and comforted him. Now he’s comforting you. 

You both stood, and Shane pulled you in for a hug. You cried into his shoulder. These were your favorite Shane hugs. The tight ones where he squeezed you. His arms wrapped around your back and your arms around his neck. 

“Let’s do one more sweep, then we’ll go ok? Gotta get Lori and Carl.” 

More tears filled your eyes as you walked around your little house. So full of memory. And your heart ached thinking about the things Shane has lost recently. His best friend, and now he’s’ about to lose the house he’s had since he got out of college. He brought you home here, and now you must leave it. 

You go back into the bedroom, and see the photo album of your wedding pictures. It never got put away from a few weeks ago when you got it out on your anniversary. You smoothed your hand over the cover, and traced your fingers around the big letter “W” for ‘Walsh’ engraved in the center. 

“Did you grab us some jackets?” Shane asked walking in. 

“No, that’s the one thing I didn’t think of,” you replied sheepishly. 

Shane opened the closet doors and grabbed a coat and a jacket for each of you. He did a final sweep, and as he passed by you he reached for your hand. 

“C’mon girl, we gotta go.” 

“I know you said only things we need, but I-“ you didn’t finish your sentence, you just picked up the photo album and tucked it under your arm. Shane only nodded. With your knuckle you turned off the light to the bedroom, and Shane led you to the living room. 

Shane’s eyes scanned for anything else you might need, and when he deemed you both ready, he closed the door behind him. 

He packed the car, and you climbed up front, still sniffling. The photo album was resting in your lap. You wouldn’t let go. 

Shane was quiet as you drove the familiar drive to the Grimes’s home. You’d been there hundreds of times. For weekend cookouts, birthdays, holidays, everything. More recently you’d been to help Lori with whatever she needed as she worried about Rick. 

Now things were getting worse. Rick’s gone and you don’t know what is even happening in the world. 

Shane pulled into the driveway, and they were already waiting out front. Lori had a photo album in one of her hands. You weren’t the only one with this idea. 

Shane hopped out to grab the bags, and Carl excitedly helped him pack up. Lori got in the backseat behind you and you reached for her hand to give it a squeeze. 

Carl got in the car and Shane did a last minute check before he got behind the wheel. 

“Everyone ready?” he asked. 

“Shane where are we going?” Carl asked. 

“Goin’ to Atlanta, bud.” Shane answered as he started up the car. 

The drive from your home to Atlanta took about an hour, but with the traffic, it took over two hours. 

Somewhere along the way you fell asleep. Your dream of you remembering Shane telling you about Rick woke you up. 

You step out of the car to stretch your legs and you look at all the people around you. You wonder what they left behind. 

You walk around the front of the car and lean against Shane’s open car door. He pulls you to him a bit and you rest your hip against his thigh. He wraps his hand around your waist and squeezes your hip. 

“You doin’ alright?”

You nod, but Shane knows. You’re doing as well as can be expected. You kiss his forehead and leave to go talk to Lori and Carl. You chit chat with the woman Carol, and her daughter Sophia. The husband gives you a look and you feel uneasy. 

Right about then Shane walks over. 

“I’m gonna go up a bit and see what I can see,” he tells you and Lori. Carl and Lori stay with Carol. 

You follow close behind Shane. Shane has your hand in his and he leads you up til you see the skyline of the city of Atlanta. 

The city is dark, but soon it’s illuminated from the napalm being dropped in the streets. 

You hear Shane’s voice catch in his throat as he speaks. He pulls you in for a tight hug. His hand shields your eyes from the horrific sight and for the second time that day you cry into his shoulder.


	3. Home

The only person who got any sleep in the car is Carl. You, Shane, and Lori are all wide awake. After seeing Atlanta being bombed, how could you sleep? That was your first place of refuge. Now what?

“Might have to go at it on our own,” Shane said as he walked you back to the car. People are panicking and starting to disperse.

“We need to at least get some rest,” Shane said, “we’ll assess the situation tomorrow.”

But none of you could sleep.

Carl fell asleep in his mother’s lap, and she fought back tears. You know she’s missing Rick. You miss him too. He was a friend of yours. He’s part of the reason you and Shane are together in the first place.

You don’t have any tears left for the day, but your heart aches as you watch families and people drive by. You can hear their cries and you can’t rest with this outside your window.

For these past several hours your hand has barely left Shane’s. Your palms are both sweaty and stuck to each other’s but neither of you care. It’s like if you let go, something bad will happen.

“Try and get some rest baby,” Shane tells you. You lean your head against his shoulder and sigh. You wish there wasn’t the arm rest in-between the two of you.

You don’t remember falling asleep, but you woke up seeing the sunlight shining. Your hand is still safe inside Shane’s big hand. You look up at him, and it’s obvious he didn’t get any sleep the night before. Five o’clock shadow lines his jaw, and his eyes look heavy.

You pull your hand from his and place your hand on his jaw. He leans into your touch and closes his eyes for a moment.

“Get some sleep Shane,” you whisper. Lori and Carl are both asleep in the backseat.

You slide your fingers up into his hair and gently run your fingers through it. He makes a satisfied hum and leans his head back, his eyes still closed.

“Wake me if anythin’ changes,” he mumbles.

It’s not long before he falls asleep. You continue to play with his hair to soothe him.

While he sleeps you watch the scene around you. The majority of the cars have left. Some cars are abandoned. But you watch the people who remain. You wonder why.

Why are these people still here? Is it natural to stick together? You notice the woman Carol and her family are still nearby. It’s then you realize most of the people you see in front of you, you had passed by last night.

A couple hours pass, and Shane finally stirs. And these people still remain in your vision.

By now Lori and Carl are awake, but kept quiet so as not to wake Shane. Lori knew Shane hadn’t slept all night.

Shane lets out a sigh. And you watch him, you watch the look of fear on his face. He puts his hand on the car door and you see the fear leave his face, and stern look comes over his face.

His game face.

His brow is heavy, he’s focused.

You smile, you see your husband shift into his deputy role the second he steps onto the pavement.

You climb out of the car, following him. Lori and Carl do the same.

And you notice the others who are still on the highway, start to gather.

Were they waiting on Shane?

An older man approaches Shane, and begins to speak.

You didn’t hear all of the conversation, but what from what you could pick up, these people had spotted the King County emblem on Shane’s t-shirt. These people were looking to him for answers, because they thought maybe since he’s an officer of the law, he might know something.

Only thing is, Shane knows as much as everyone there. But you couldn’t help but swell with pride at all these people looking to him.

You heard someone mention there was a quarry nearby, where they could get water.

Shane walks back over to the car and grabs his shotgun.

“Let’s go have a look,” he says to the person who mentioned the quarry. “The rest of y’all stay here, we’ll be back. Stick together.”

He walks over to you, and sees the fear all over your face.

“It’s ok, I’ll be back soon baby,” he whispers.

“Be careful.”

“Always,” he says and grabs the back of your head to pull you in for a kiss.

In less than an hour Shane comes back and people begin to load up in their cars.

Shane seemed to think this place was safe, and the little group of people followed. It’s not like they have any other options now.

Everyone packs up and drives up to this little quarry. And it’s interesting to you to watch people click. Work automatically gets done. People have started to look to Shane as the unofficial ‘leader’ and he takes it in stride. He knows how operations go as far as his police work, so with a little adjusting, he can direct people. But he gets in there and works too.

He takes a couple people with him and they scout out the area, making sure the perimeter is secure.

While he’s gone, people start setting up tents. You and Shane had one, you wanted to go camping on some romantic weekend, but you’d never gotten around to it. Shane had a tent, and luckily he thought to pack it.

One family had over-packed and had extra cots and sleeping bags, so shelter was taken care of for now.

Most people had some food, and for now it would have to do. You heard a couple people talking about going hunting tomorrow.

It took most of the day, but soon the camp was all settled. Tomorrow would be a big day, that would really be the day to see what was needed. For now everyone just needed rest.

Shane offered to take the first watch for the night.

“Shane, you barely got any sleep!” you whisper to him, “And…I don’t wanna go to bed without you.”

He smiles a soft smile at you, “I’m only taking the first watch so I won’t be up too late, you can stay up with me if you want. Only a couple hour shift. We’ll be done by midnight.”

“Ok,” you reply, “I don’t wanna leave you.”

He rubs your back and kisses your temple. He opens his mouth to speak when someone calls his name. He pecks your lips quick and goes to see what he’s needed for.

You almost feel a pang of jealousy because you want him all for yourself, but you realize you’re being selfish. Because you’re also proud that all these strangers are looking up to him for help and guidance and it’s only the first day. All they saw was the emblem on his shirt and are looking to him.

You didn’t get a chance alone with Shane until his watch started. At dinner everyone was gathered around the campfire, and Daryl told a story about a Chupacabra. Normally that wouldn’t have bothered you, but considering the circumstances you felt creeped out. So when it was just you and Shane, you felt relaxed.

You and Shane sat down on little lawn chairs on top of Dale’s RV. As you watch the lay of the land, you ask Shane questions about what to look for. He points and tells you to look for movement, and different signs of movement. The two hours pass quicker than you think, and Shane helps you climb down off the RV when the shift is over. Shane gets the next person who is going to take watch, then you and Shane go to your tent.

It’s a small tent, only enough room for the two of you. But you like it that way.

Shane has a flashlight and he leaves it on so you can get adjusted in the tent.

Earlier that afternoon you had made the ‘bed’ for you and Shane. There were two sleeping bags, and you unzipped them, opened them up, and spread them both out on top of each other. When Shane was packing a couple days ago, he brought a blanket too, so you wouldn’t need the sleeping bags for a blanket.

You grab the duffel bag, and start to get out some pajamas.

“Is it even safe to wear pajamas?”

Shane nods, “should be fine. I’m gonna keep you safe, you remember that.”

While you change into your pajamas, Shane is rifling through the backpack.

You hear Shane chuckle and you look up to see his has a box of condoms in his hand.

A tiny little smirk flashes on his face.

“Smart thinkin’,” he says and sets them on the floor.

“I just cleared out the drawers in the bathroom,” you shrug. You were in such a frenzy you barely remember picking up half the things you did, but you remember grabbing those. Suddenly it hits you, the house. You may never see that house ever again.

“Guess we’ll have to put ‘em to use,” he says casually, but the smirk is still on his face. He gets what he was looking for out of the backpack – tweezers. But when he looks up, he sees tears welling up in your eyes.

“You ok?” you sniffle. Crying has become a common practice it seems. You feel like you’re being dramatic, but then you’ve never been in this situation before. No one has. 

“Yeah, I’m fine, got a splinter earlier and I couldn’t get it out with my nail. Gotta use this. But why are you cryin’ baby? Tell me darlin.”

“Your splinter!” you sniffle again.

“It can wait, what’s wrong?”

“Our house. We’re never gonna see it again are we? Is this gonna be our home? Some tent in the woods?”

Without a word, Shane gathers you in his arms. He shushes you softly and presses a kiss to your hair.

“Remember when we came home after the honeymoon?” he asks.

You laugh through the tears remembering. As newlyweds you couldn't keep your hands off each other, and you had sex in just about every room in the house that first week alone. 

“We broke-in every room,” you giggle.

“On the couch, on the kitchen floor, the bathtub…” Shane lists off the places with a sly tone in his voice.

“We almost fell off the couch,” you cover your mouth to keep your laugh from being too loud.

Shane chuckles at the memory and kisses your forehead, “didn’t let you fall though did I?”

“No,” you smile, but then you sniffle again, “I’m gonna miss the house.”

“I know. Me too. But we got each other. That’s what matters. House or not, you’re still my girl alright?” He picks up your hand and kisses it. His thumb brushes over your wedding ring as a little reminder. That’s when you see the splinter.

“Here, let me get that out. Hold the flashlight for me?” you tell him.

He holds the flashlight steady, and you hold his other hand. You see the splinter under the light, it’s a lot worse than he made it out to be.

“Shane you’re bleeding!”

You get the splinter, but it bothers you to see his finger bleeding.

“Get me one of those band-aids you don’t need an infection right now.”

He humors you and cracks a smile when you kiss his finger over the band-aid.

He puts the tweezers and the box of band-aids back in the backpack. He reaches for the box of condoms and turns off the flashlight.

“Shane what are you doing?” you whisper but giggle.

“We need to break in this tent!”

“Shane!” you giggle as his lips find your neck.

He eases you onto your back on the makeshift bed.

“What if someone hears us?”

“Then you’re just gonna have to keep quiet darlin,” Shane teases as he takes off your glasses.

He works a hand under your shirt as he kisses you deeply. He swallows your sighs as he kisses you.

When the clothes are off and he’s making love to you, he gently holds his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet. Shane’s a passionate lover, and he loves to tease you in bed, it’s not the first time his hand has covered your mouth in the throes of passion.

Shane kisses you deeply one more time before he gets up to get a pair of shorts out of the duffel bag. You put your pajamas back on and curl under the blanket. Shane slides in next to you, his back against the ‘wall’ of the tent. He wraps his arm tight around you and holds you close.

“I don’t know if you feel at home, but breakin’ it in was nice,” Shane teases and squeezes you a little.

“Home is with you,” you whisper and feel Shane kiss the back of your head as his reply.

It may not be your house, but you’re still in the arms of your Shane. That’s one thing that won’t change.

In his arms, you’re at home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a little sappy right now, but angst is coming!! I just love the romantic potential for Shane so much if he had someone in his life to take care of and more importantly to take care of him!


	4. Splash

Life goes on. You settle into your new life at the quarry fairly well. The only thing that’s hard on you is seeing Shane’s stress.

His worry and concern is only heightened since he is the leader of this group. Not that any of you expected this new life to be an easy one, but one night Shane confesses to you that he feels like he’s back at work as a deputy.

Not that it’s necessarily bad, because the work keeps him up and moving, but you know. He needs a break. But he’s not one to back down or just stop. He’s going to keep doing what he has to do to protect these people, to protect you.

Selfishly, he thinks of your needs first. It’s his job as your husband. He doesn’t feel any guilt at all about it either. People chose to look to him, he’s just here to look after you. He’s keeping an eye on Lori and Carl, because they might as well be family. And he owes it to Rick.

But you always come first.

So when Rick comes back, it takes a load off Shane’s shoulders. He has his partner back and he doesn’t have to lead these people alone.

When Rick comes back to the camp with some of the fellow members of the group, it’s such a happy moment. You feel tears well up in your eyes when you see Carl run to his father. Shane presses a kiss to your temple when you see Rick and Lori kiss. And your heart swells when Shane and Rick speak. Shane thought Rick was dead, so to see his brother alive, Shane was relieved.

Things shift a little the next day, Rick steps up and wants to immediately go back to Atlanta, and Shane starts to get frustrated. All he can think about is keeping you safe, no matter what, and he doesn’t want Rick to risk it.

But Rick goes back to Atlanta anyway, and Shane goes down to the quarry with Carl to clear his head. Them going to Atlanta may not put you in danger. That’s all Shane can hope. All Shane can think about is Rick leaving with more men to Atlanta, that leaves the group at the quarry less defended. Shane already has in the back of his mind that everyone needs to get some weapons training in. But until then, it's only a few people who know what to do with guns, and a handful just left for Atlanta. 

Shane can have a bit of a temper, and you know. You’ve seen it. Doesn’t mean you love him any less. He’s never hurt you, but he’s snapped at you a couple times. His guilt ate him up inside and he’s working on controlling his temper. So when Rick comes back, and scares Shane by taking people back to Atlanta, Shane wants to go off on him. So Shane physically gets in the water to cool off. He promised Carl that morning they’d go looking for frog legs so this would calm his mind.

But the main reason, you’re down there doing some laundry with the other women, and Shane can keep an eye on you. Seeing you always relaxes his mind. If he knows you’re safe he’ll feel better about everything.

You scrub a shirt while you watch Shane duck under the water and splash at Carl. You can tell he’s feeling good. But you also saw the signs of his temper, but you’re keeping an eye on him, and he looks like he’s doing just fine.

Someone makes a comment about the distribution of labor in the camp and it makes you frown. Shane isn’t just in the water to have fun, he has been working so hard to keep everyone safe. You know if he doesn’t clear his head his stress will make him lose focus.

After all he’s done for them? Putting himself at risk for the group and they complain.

“Shane works hard,” you say calmly to defend him. “He and I did the laundry together a lot at home.”

Home. There’s that word again. You sniffle once and try to push past the thought of your house.

Then the women start talking about things they miss from before. It’s not long before the giggles occur.

“I miss my vibrator,” Andrea says, and Carol giggles and says, “me too..”

You all howl in laughter, but you feel an elbow prod your ribs in jest.

“What about you?”

“I don’t need one,” you blush as you motion your head towards Shane. The giggles erupt and you have a sly smile on your face.

“Damn! She’s got the real thing!” someone says and you hide your face in your hands.

When Shane hears you laugh, he looks over at you with a smile on his face. And of course the women see Shane look over, causing the laughter to get louder. Shane just smirks, he can only imagine what is going on over there. He just winks at you and makes a motion with his hands in the water, just a little splash, but you know what he’s referencing.

“What was that for?” one of the women tease.

“Oh nothing,” you blush.

But it wasn’t nothing. You remember it so well.

When Shane got his house after college, he wanted a pool in the backyard. It would be a little more money, but he wanted to have it for his knee. He hurt it playing football in college, and having a pool to swim in and strengthen it back up was the best option for him while he got ready to train to be a cop.

After his knee healed, the pool of course stayed and he used it a lot on those hot summer days. And when you came into the picture, he loved taking you out for a swim.

The splash he was referencing was one day you’d gotten a new swimsuit and Shane was dying to see you in it. It had been a perfect summer day, and in his eagerness he already jumped in the pool. He was treading water in the deep end while he waited for you to come out.

You stepped out onto the patio in your new suit, and Shane hollered out his approval.

“Damn baby! You look gooood! Get your cute ass in here!”

You took you time getting in the pool, but Shane was being playful and he swam over to the steps where you were standing.

“Shane!” you squealed when he grabbed your hips to guide you in.

“C’mon girl!” he laughed.

“I wanna ease into it!” you scolded him. He smirked and leaned into you. His wet bare chest pressed against you.

“Oh yeah?” he purred against your neck.

“You and your dirty mind!” you giggle and shove his wet chest off.

“Well damn girl how can I control it when you look like that huh?” he winked and reached around to grab a handful of you butt.

“You have a dirty mind all the time!” you tease. You attempt to splash him, and he skirts out of the way. But when he did, he slipped and fell on the pool floor. He popped back up in an instant since he was still in the shallow end. You both laughed and that was the hand movement he referenced just now.

You miss those days. That day wasn’t any different from any other pool day with Shane. He’d tease you and splash at you. But also he’d carry you around inside the water. More often than not he’d “casually” untie your bikini top, and there were frequent occasions where that pool was used for skinny dipping.

Those are the things you miss. Yes, the women were joking and you piped in saying you missed chocolate. And you have Shane still, but it’s the things you did together that you won’t be able to do again that you miss.

“Earth to y/n….” one of the women say, bringing you out of your thoughts.

“From blush on your cheeks and the look on his face, I’m gonna say it’s not nothing!” someone teases.

You blush again.

“Just some pool memories,” you smile.

“Skinny dipping!!” a couple women say at the same time, and you all continue to laugh.

It’s loud enough for Shane to hear and he turns his head with an eyebrow raised.

Your blush deepens and the laughing gets louder. Shane just smiles to himself and turns back to Carl.

That’s when Carol’s husband Ed walks up. He tells you all off for laughing. Things escalate and Shane comes over when he sees you have fallen to your knees.

Shane punches Ed in the face twice, knocking him to the ground. Shane grabs Ed’s face and threatens him, then Shane turns his attention to you.

He lifts you in his arms and carries you back to the tent. He pulls out the first aid kit and begins to clean your skinned knees from when Ed pushed you to the ground.

He looks upset. While he was defending you and Carol, he feels a sting of guilt that he let his anger get the best of him.

“Shane, look at me,” you say softly.

He looks up, his eyes look sad.

You cradle his face in your hands as you speak, “you are passionate. And you’ve been carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. All of us here have wanted to smack Ed around. Don’t you dare beat yourself up. I’m here to help you through this. Ok? That could've been a lot worse.”

He nods and presses a kiss to your wrist.

Shane speaks, changing the subject, while trying to distract you from the sting of the cuts.

“Were you tellin’ them about us goin’ skinny dippin’ in the pool?”

“I barely said anything!” you blush. “Ow!” you hiss.

“That quarry would be perfect for that ya know,” he teases, “Sorry I know I need to clean this baby.”

xx

The next couple of days were quiet. Life went on as ‘usual’. There was even a fish fry later and you laugh sitting next to Shane. He pokes your ribs and kisses your cheek any chance he gets.

The moment was perfect until the walkers came.

The camp erupts in panic and Shane grabs you to make sure you stay behind him. You take one step backwards and fall to your knees. You already feel the sting from them not fully healed yet. Your glasses are thrown from your face, and in the dark, you can’t see.  
There’s so much yelling and you listen for Shane, and you call for him. But somehow, you’ve gotten separated from him.

You call his name crying, and try to find him.

You start to panic because walkers and people look a lot alike in the dark, especially when you’re glasses are missing.

You think you see Shane up ahead! You even hear his voice!

Right when you think you see him your vision gets blocked when someone, or something grabs you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of suspense!! The angst is coming! Gotta work up to it!
> 
> I was a little nervous about this chapter, hope yall like it!


	5. Reunion

Your friend grabs your arm to push you towards him.

“Go talk to him!” she giggles.

“Stop!” you blush and slap her hand away.

You’re at your ten year high school reunion. The only reason you even went, is to see him.

Shane Walsh.

You’ve been in love with him since you can remember. It’s not like you haven’t seen him around, you still live in this tiny town just like him. But any excuse to see him, you’re there.

But you just want to see him. You don’t know if you can talk to him without returning back to your high school days when all you could manage to say was ‘hi’ while your cheeks burned dark red.

“You didn’t come here to just look at him did you?” you friend asks, knowing you well. “Because that cute little dress says otherwise.”

“Shut up.”

You already feel a blush on your cheeks.

“What am I supposed to say? ‘Hi Shane remember me? I made an idiot of myself in front of you on a daily basis’?”

“You were friends!! And besides he’s not gonna remember that! He was just some jock in school. Always had a girlfriend.”

A pang of hurt hits your gut. You remember all the girls he dated. You envied all of them. Shane’s locker was near yours all throughout school, and he was always so kind to you. Always. But you were never the kind of girl he dated. You were just a friend. You cried too many times in school wanting to be noticed by him. Wanting to be more than just a friend. You went to all of his football and baseball games. You cheered on your favorite #22 on the team. You loved his curly mop of hair and his lopsided grin.

And seeing him across the gym floor in your high school now, made your stomach flip.

“He looks so good too, y/n.”

“Stop!” you whine. “This was stupid, why did I come to this? I’m just that girl who was so obviously in love with him.”

“Well if you don’t think your deputy boyfriend is worth your time, Josh over there has been making eyes at you all night!” she teases.

“Ok ok. What do I say? What the hell do I even say?”

“To Josh?”

“No! To him…” you motion towards Shane. Gosh you can’t even say his name.

“Ask him what he’s up to!”

“He’s a deputy with Rick! We all know this!”

“Ask anyway! Ask about it! You were friends in school, what's the worst that could happen? We're all hear to reconnect!”

“I saw him at the store like a couple months ago and I didn’t say anything like an idiot what if he remembers?! I saw him and I got so nervous and just clammed up and walked the other way! I can't talk to him.”

“Look ok he’s over there with Rick and Lori by the punch table. Just go get a drink and see what happens!”

“But I have a drink!” you say holding up your glass of punch up.

Your friend grabs the punch out of your hand and chugs it.

“Now you need more. Go!” she pushes you and you start to walk towards him.

Quickly you walk over to the punch table when you hear your name.

Shit.

You turn and it’s Rick who said your name.

“How long has it been?” Lori asks with a smile.

“A while!” you laugh nervously. Shane’s looking at you. Oh no.

Rick elbows Shane, “Shane here says he saw you at the store couple weeks ago!”

Shane almost chokes on his drink, and you feel something in your gut.

How did Rick know Shane saw you?

That was weeks ago!

Did Shane tell Rick?

Why?

“Oh yeah!” you try and play it off. “I thought I saw you! I assumed you were busy and I didn’t want to bother you!”

“Nah you’re never a bother. Never were.”

You feel your cheeks flush.

What is happening?

“Get her some punch Shane,” Rick teases and Lori smacks his arm.

Lori tugs Rick along when they see someone else to talk to, leaving you and Shane alone at the punch table.

“Sorry about that,” Shane laughs and rubs the back of his head.

“What was that about?” you decide to get bold. Now or never right?

“Look, I saw you at the store those couple weeks back, and it'd had been so long since I've seen you. And I remember. How kind you always were to me, and how you saw me for me? Everybody always saw ‘Rick and Shane’, then it became ‘Rick and Lori, and Shane.’”

“Oh,” you flushed.

“I was gonna ask you out for coffee or somethin’ to catch up, but you left ‘fore I got the chance. I was hopin’ you’d be here.”

“Really? I didn’t say anything at the store cuz I didn’t want you to think about…me in high school,” you try and laugh it off.

“If it helps, I always wanted to ask you out when we were back in school, but-“

“But what?”

You didn’t realize how close you were standing to him. You placed your hand on his forearm. You glanced down at his chest, his white button up shirt had a few buttons undone. His chest hair was peeking out, and you saw the glint of a necklace.

A 22 necklace.

You gave him that necklace on his birthday your senior year.

“I didn’t want you to think I was makin’ fun of you by askin’ you out, so I never did. Hate myself for it. I thought about callin' you a dozen times but when I saw you at the store...”

“Is that the necklace I gave you?” you reach out and touch it, feeling his warm skin and slight tickle from his chest hair, you grasp the necklace between your fingers.

“Never took it off,” his voice suddenly soft.

You remember when you gave it to him. His birthday was on a school day, and you gave it to him in a little box. You left it in his locker with a little note wishing him luck in college. He’d gotten a football scholarship to play. You thought you’d never see him after high school.  
Shane did play football in college, but his senior year he tore up his knee. Rick was studying to become a cop, and Shane liked the idea and started once he got done with school.

You saw him from time to time, but never long enough to talk. And you always hoped to avoid him after the embarrassing things in high school.

He reached over to get you some punch and he handed it to you while he asked, “so do you want to go out? Let me take you out to dinner?”

In shock, you said yes.

But then you weren’t really shocked? This was the Shane you always saw in high school. Shane always had a girlfriend, always the big flirt. But it hit you when he said that you always cared for him.

Just him, no one else. And because of his own insecurity, living under Rick’s shadow, he didn’t know what to do. So he didn’t do anything but hold onto that necklace in hope one day he’d have another chance with you.

He didn’t want to lose you again.

Xx

“Shane!” you scream as the walker grabs you. You wrangle out of it’s grasp as best you can when you feel a familiar arm wrap around your waist.

In an instant you’re in Shane’s arms, and the walker’s skull is crushed with the butt of Shane’s shotgun. You cling to Shane’s shoulders and try to catch your breath.

He pulls away to check on you. He looks you all over and smooths your hair out of your face to check for bites or scratches. He sees blood on your knees.

“You ok? And where are your glasses baby?”

“My knees got scraped again, and I don’t know. I need them!” there’s a slight panic in your tone.

Shane scans the ground around where you’re standing and spots them. Luckily they’re fine. He wipes the dirt off the glasses with his t-shirt and places them back on your nose. His nostrils flare in a huff when he sees the look of terror on your face.

He pulls you back into his arms. He’s angry this happened to you. And hell if it didn’t scare the shit out of him.

One minute you were behind him and the next second he turned around to see a walker in your face.

You cling to him that night in your little makeshift bed. You can’t stop shaking.

“Darlin?” he’s on his back, your head is on his chest and your arms are around his torso. One of his hands is behind his head, and the other hand is resting on your back.

When you hear his voice you let out a sob you’d been holding in.

“I think we’re gonna try and find a safer place for us to stay. When we get there I’m gonna teach you some stuff ok? Always meant to do that anyway before all this.”

You sniff and nod.

You feel the 22 necklace press on your cheek and it bring a little smile to your face.

“What is it?” he laughs.

“Your necklace. Seems like ages ago we were in high school and I had a crush on some football player.”

“And baseball,” Shane adds teasing you.

“Hush, don’t ruin it.”

“Man I had bad hair,” he laughs.

“Nooo Shane it was cute.”

“What would you do if I ever shaved my head?”

You sit upright fast and look down at him.

“You wouldn’t dare! I love your hair!” you say as you comb your fingers through it.

He pulls you back down into his arms, “ok I won’t!” he laughs.

You lay on top of his body, and rake your hand through his thick hair.

“’sides I’d miss feelin’ you do that….and feelin’ you tug on it when I’ve got my tong-“

“Shane!” you shake your head and press a kiss to his shit-eating grin plastered to his face.

He’s a mess, but he’s your mess. And you can’t fight the smile. He always has a way to bring a smile to your face.

“So what do you say? About me teachin’ you some defense stuff? It’d make me feel better, bet it’d ease your mind too.”

You lay your head back down on his chest, “yeah I’d like that.”

You felt your breathing steady, and you weren’t feeling as shaky. His arm is wrapped tight around you.

Over the course of the night, Shane rolled over.

You wake up tucked up under him. His other hand is gripping his shotgun on the floor next to your bed.

Shane’s snoring lightly in your ear, and you wonder how late he stayed up last night.

You didn’t want to get up. This is the safest place to you right now. In your little tent, and half of your body is under a sleeping Shane. He’s holding you to him, and his steady breathing gives you comfort.

When he stirs he hums and goes right for his favorite spot to kiss on your neck. His stubble is getting thicker and it scrapes against your skin in a way you’ve not experienced. He's always been clean-shaven for work, and never really let his stubble grow out. You let out a little moan and Shane jerks his head up to look at you.

“Did you like that darlin?”

“Like what?” you play coy.

“You know,” he purrs and scrapes his jaw along your collarbone lightly. You buck up your hips, but you’re still trapped under him.

“Goin’ somewhere?” he looks down at you with a sly look.

You reach for your glasses and Shane grabs your hand. He grabs both your hands in one of his, and pins your wrists above your head.  
He kisses down your body, and pushes up your tank top with his other hand. He kisses your belly and nibbles on your hips.

He starts to kiss on your thighs when someone outside the tent calls his name. Shane sighs and drops his head to rest on your lower stomach. His nose and mouth are so close to sensitive flesh and your skin is tingling. You feel his breath for a second, then he lifts his head. He releases your wrists and stands up.

“Remember before? Especially when we first got married? And I’d come home during my lunch breaks?”

You smirk.

“First chance I get today,” he promises. “But we probably do need to see what’s up.”

“I know,” you sigh and get up too.

Shane was right, and sooner than you realize, you’re packing up and on the road.

When Jim, one of the members in your group got bit, Rick made the decision to go to the CDC in Atlanta.

You weren’t sure about this, because Shane didn’t want to go. But the only thing keeping your spirits up is you finally have some time alone with Shane. Just you and him in his Jeep.

And Shane keeps his promises. One hand is on the wheel, and his other hand is between your legs.

He smirks while keeping his eyes on the road while he hears your sighs. He massages you thigh after you reach your high, and even that gets you to sigh.

Shane cracks jokes and you love it. Though you’re not sure if he’s being silly to make you laugh, or if he needs a distraction. You can tell he’s a little uneasy.

“Do you think we’ll be safe here Shane?” you question as you climb out of the Jeep.

“Don’t know darlin, I wish I knew.”

He grabs your hand and you walk with the group up to the closed doors of the CDC.


	6. Room Service

When you wake up, you’re alone.

The last thing you remember is walking into the CDC and getting your blood drawn.

Panic sets in. Where are you?

You look around, you're in a bedroom. You’re on a bed. It’s not exceptionally huge, but you haven’t slept on a real bed in months, so it's a nice welcome. You see Shane’s shotgun leaning against the wall, so you know he’s around.

But where is he?

You’re about to get up, but you feel a little dizzy. You have a twinge of a headache and your stomach growls. You don’t remember when you ate last.

You hear a knock on the door, then you hear Shane’s voice.

“Room service!”

He opens the door and walks in.

“How you feelin’ baby?” he asks and presses his hand to your forehead. “Brought ya somethin’.”

He holds out a plate of food and a glass of water. He sets the plate down on the bed in front of you and the glass on the bedside table. He takes off his shirt, toes off his boots, and sits down on the bed next to you.

“What happened?” you ask with your mouth full of the sandwich Shane brought in.

“Got your blood drawn cuz the doc needed all of ours, and since you haven’t eaten in awhile, ya passed out. Doc told me where the only bedroom is, and I carried ya in here. Got ya settled and went to get some food for me and you. Ate a quick bite and brought you yours. I’d only been gone ten minutes. I hate ya woke up alone.”

You smile, “thank you.”

As you eat, Shane sits on the floor and takes apart his shotgun to clean it.

“The only bedroom you said?” you ask.

“Mhmm that’s right girl,” he says with a smile. “got some hot water too.” He doesn’t look up from the gun when he says the last part. Just a little smug grin on his face.

You laugh and throw a pillow at him.

“Hey!” he laughs and fakes a frown.

“That fake pout doesn’t work on me Walsh!”

“Mmm I beg to differ,” he stands up.

“What are you doing?” you laugh.

He gets on the bed and crawls toward you and places a kiss on your forehead.

“Finish up eatin’ then we’ll get in the shower yeah? Make ya feel better, get all cleaned up.”

You nod. He places his hand on the back of your head and pulls you in for a kiss.

“I’m almost done.”

“Don’t you rush baby. This ain’t like when I would come home during my lunch breaks,” he teases.

Shane, before, at least once a week would come home for a quickie on his lunch break.

It started after the honeymoon. When you both settled back into your lives, you just weren’t ready for the honeymoon to be over.

You worked part-time on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. And the rest of the week you had off. But on the days you worked, your lunch was at noon, just like his.

Usually Shane would come home on the days when you didn’t work so there wouldn’t be too much of a rush for both of you to eat.

You smile thinking of a memory, while you watch Shane sit back down to finish cleaning his shotgun.

It was a Wednesday, and you were in the kitchen making a couple sandwiches. Shane would be home soon, and you wanted to make him something to eat. You heard the keys in the door, and you blushed, but you didn’t stop making the sandwich.

Within seconds Shane’s arms were around your waist, and his mouth was kissing the shell of your ear.

“Did you speed home this time officer?” you tease.

Shane’s response was a playful growl and he bit down lightly on your neck.

You squealed and dropped the sandwich on the plate on the counter.

Shane spun you around in his arms, and he patted your butt signaling you to jump up. Your legs wrapped around him and he started to walk towards the bedroom down the hall.

Your hands were buried in his hair and you were kissing him fiercely. One hand was in your hair, and the other was squeezing your ass.

Shane’s walkie on his shoulder went off, and you groaned out a “no!”

Shane swore under his breath, but stopped to answer the call.

He told them he’d be there in ten.

“Ten?” you ask, still in his arms.

His answer was pressing his lips to yours and pinning you against the wall. No time to make it to the bedroom.

You both hurried to unbuckle his belt, and unzip yours and his pants.

Your back was pressed against into the wall, and his face buried into your neck. Quickly you both found your release. Shane kissed you and carried you back to the kitchen. He set you down on the counter, and grabbed a sandwich. He kissed you again, crammed the sandwich in his mouth, and buckled up his belt.

He winked at you with a satisfied smile as he ran out the door – sandwich still in his mouth. You couldn’t help but laugh.

You were disappointed he had to leave, but you had no complaints. You feel giddy from the high you just reached, and you feel a twinge of pain on your neck from where he bit down.

Still no complaints.

You stay on the counter and eat your sandwich with a smile on your face.

“What are you smiling about over there girl?” Shane clicks his gun back together and you flush when you come back to reality. “Where you thinking about me?” he teases.

“Shane I only have one pillow left to throw at you!” you sass back, “and I want this one.”

Shane throws his head back and laughs.

He stands and props the gun against the wall on his side of the bed. He picks up the one pillow you threw at him earlier, and places it next to you on the bed.

He sits down and moves the now empty plate down at the foot of the bed. He pokes your dimple, getting you to smile more.

“Tell me, girl, c’mon.”

“I miss your uniform,” you shrug but feel yourself flush a little.

“Oh yeah?” his eyebrow quirks up. “Damn if I had known I’da brought it with me,” he teases.

“Just being here…in this room…it reminds me of the normal life we used to have. I know it’s silly because it’s just a bed, but it reminds me of that crappy motel we stayed at that one time. And those times when you’d come home from lunch for a quickie.” You laugh.

“Ohh so that’s what’s got ya flustered,” he smiles. “And I know darlin. And hey that motel wasn’t that crappy!”

“Shane the water was a weird color and a spring in the mattress gave you a bruise for like a week!”

“Yeah but we watched that shitty horror movie and scared ourselves to death,” Shane remembers with a laugh.

“I miss all that.”

He let out a sigh. He does too. But he’s trying to focus on the now, he doesn’t want you hurt from all the memories.

“Well this isn’t a shit motel, but it seems we’re livin’ in a shitty horror movie. Don’t think the water is bad, least I hope not,” he jokes.

You stand and feel your strength returning now that you’ve gotten some food in your system.

“Think I want to shower.”

Shane nods and stands up, “Doc said go easy on the hot water.”

“Guess that means you’re showering with me,” you say casually and take off your shirt and head for the bathroom.

Shane cracks a smile and follows you into the bathroom.

You both sigh at the feeling of a hot shower. It’s been months and it already begins to ease some of the stiffness in your body.

Shane doesn’t want to push it, since you just passed out less than an hour ago. He squirts some shampoo into his hands and begins to wash your hair. He massages your scalp longer than necessary but he knows it feels good to you. He knows other ways to bring you simple pleasures other than just sex.

He steps aside to let you rinse your hair and you wash his hair. You both take turn washing each other’s bodies, and you shudder feeling Shane’s hands on sensitive skin. His hands are warm and covered in soap as he squeezes flesh and rubs his hands up and down your body. 

“Shane,” you sigh, “don’t.”

“Too much?”

“Your hands feel so good Shane, I just don’t want to overdo it.”

“You feelin’ dizzy again?”

“Yeah,” you flush, “but in a good way. What a waste of that bed,” you sigh.

“We might be here a day or two you never know. Don’t you worry about a damn thing darlin. Gotta get you feelin’ rested up before we got at it,” he’s serious but he says the last bit with a smile.

You finish rinsing off and Shane shuts off the water.

You step out and a chill runs up your spin. You’re not used to air conditioning. You’ve not had it for months, now stepping into the cold air after a hot shower is quite a contrast.

“Where are the towels?” you ask with a shiver.

“Shit, I don’t see- oh here they are.”

Shane pulls out three towels. He hands you two. One for your body and one for your hair.

You wrap you hair in the towel first, and Shane takes that opportunity to pinch your butt.

“You just can’t resist can you?” you laugh at him and swat his hand away.

“Nope!” he cackles and dries himself off. He wraps the towel around his waist and starts to rummage through the bathroom drawers.

“What are you looking for?” you ask as you adjust the towel around yourself. You pick up your glasses to put on, but the steam from the shower has them fogged up.

“Razor. Ain’t one here though.” He closes the drawer and runs a hand through his wet hair. “Not used to having this.” He says as he feels the scratch of stubble under his fingertips.

“Well I like it,” you smile and press a kiss to his cheek as you walk past him.

Earlier that evening when you went into the CDC no one really unpacked anything from the cars. No one was sure of the situation, and with walkers around it wasn’t safe to unpack all the supplies. So you just grabbed your backpack that was already in the front seat of the Jeep with you. It had a change of clothes for you and Shane. The rest of your clothes is in Shane’s duffel bag still in the car.

You step into the bedroom and put on your glasses now that the air is cooler. You rifle through the backpack and get clean underwear for you and him, and you swipe Shane’s t-shirt up off the floor to sleep in.

You pull on your panties and tug on Shane’s shirt. He walks in and you toss him his boxers. You adjust the towel on your head and sit down on the bed with a sigh. You’re exhausted.

Shane puts on his shorts, and takes his and your towel to the bathroom.

“Would it be wrong if we kept those?” you ask.

Shane sits down on the bed and leans back against the headboard.

“Way ahead of ya. Was plannin’ on takin’ em. Just hung em up to dry overnight.”

You don’t remember falling asleep, but when you wake up, you feel better than you have in months. The first thing you notice is Shane’s arm is draped over your waist, his hand flat against your sternum.

Your glasses are off, you notice, meaning Shane must’ve taken them off for you. You reach for them on the bedside table. Your movement stirs Shane and he tightens his arm around you. You also notice the towel that was wrapped around your hair is off too.

You put your glasses on and roll over in his arms to snuggle into his chest.

Someone knocks on your door, and let’s you know breakfast is ready.

“I don’t wanna get uppp,” you whine.

“Yeah but you need somethin’ to eat. Get your strength up,” he says pressing a kiss to your head.

Your stomach growls.

“See?” Shane laughs and walks into the bathroom.

You feel a little dizzy when you stand, and you know he’s right.

“Shane?” you call to him in the bathroom.

“Yeah?” you hear the toilet flush and the sink being to run.

“I feel dizzy.”

Your hear the sink stop, and the door opens. He’s drying off his hands when he walks over to you.

“Ok, just sit down. Take it easy darlin.”

He goes back into the bathroom and runs some water over a rag. He rings out the excess and hands you the damp rag. He also has the towels tucked under his arm to pack in the backpack.

“Hold that to your head, I’m gonna get dressed," he says as he hands you the rag.

He grabs his shirt out of the backpack, and tugs on his pants. He tucks his pants into his boots, and buckles his belt.

“Do you want me to bring you somethin’ or do you wanna try and walk?”

“Walk. I think I just stood up too fast.”

“Alright, just sit down, cool off, I’ll get your clothes.”

Shane grabs the backpack and gets out your shirt and pants. He picks up your bra off the floor, and hands you the pile of clothes.

Slowly you take off his black t-shirt and hand it to him for him to pack into the backpack. You get dressed and slowly stand up.

Shane’s got everything packed and ready by the door.

He offers you his arm, you take it, and you lean against him as you walk down the hall to get breakfast.

Your morning started off pretty peaceful but after breakfast the rest of the day just went downhill quickly.

You ate breakfast and finally started to feel like yourself again. You had your energy up and you were in good spirits.

Until Dale points out the clock on the wall is counting down to something. People start panicking and Shane yells at Dr. Jenner, when he sees the terror in your eyes. Shane had an uneasy feeling about this place, but he didn't tell you because you were sick.

You clutch so tight to Shane’s arm, and he feels you tremble.

Jenner opens the door finally, and you all scramble to get out.

Shane grabs your backpack and your hand and leads you out to the main lobby.

When Rick puts the grenade against the glass, Shane shields your body with his to protect you.

He keeps you at his side all the way to the jeep and he makes sure you’re safe inside.

You don’t miss the fear in his eyes when the CDC explodes. He’s squeezing you so tight to shield you from any debris. But when you look up, his big brown eyes are full of fear.

Too many close calls with you in the past couple of days. This is not making him feel any better. Now the group is going to be forced to go on the road again, and you’re still weak. You had gotten your energy up, but all of the panic and stress and exertion, has made you feel a bit dizzy again.

“Do you wanna go lay down in one of the beds in Dale’s RV?” Shane asks while the group gets ready to hit the road.

“No. I’m ok. I just want to be with you.”

“You say the word if you need to lie down. No shame in that. You need to rest up.”

As it turns out, you and Shane had to go Dale’s RV anyway.

The group left Atlanta, and on the outskirts the group stops in the woods and compiles supplies.

Several of the cars had to be left behind to save on gas. Including the car Shane was driving. He’d given up the car he had started out with, and replaced it with the Jeep sometime during your stay at the quarry. He didn’t like not having a car, but if it meant being with you and you getting the rest you needed, he’d be ok with it.

Shane packs all your things in the RV, and sits down on one of the beds. He places his feet on the floor and leans back against the wall. You lay down on the bed and stretch out, your head in Shane’s lap.

You fall asleep with his fingers stroking your hair. The rumble of the RV is steady and you fall asleep quickly in Shane’s hands.

You jolt awake when the RV comes to a screeching halt.


	7. The Truck

You sit upright when the RV comes to a stop.

“Whoa whoa,” Shane reaches for you, and puts a hand on your back.

Shane walks towards the front of the RV, and from the back you hear Dale say something about a hose not working in the engine.

You stand and look to Shane. He gives you a simple nod, and you move to get out of the RV.

His hand rests on your lower back as he makes sure you get out ok. You should be fine, now that you’ve eaten and gotten some rest.

But you wonder how you’ll feel when you step out into the heat. The humidity already sticking to your skin. With the hairband around your wrist, you fix your hair into a messy bun on the top of your head.

“Shane do you know where my-“ before you can even finish asking, he’s pulling out three bobby pins from his pocket.

You smile and thank him, and feel a sense of amazement because he really is that observant.

You’re sticking the bobby pins in your hair when people start to look around at the cars.

Shane kisses your temple and walks over to a black pick-up truck. You’re with Lori and Carol and the kids looking around at clothes in the cars.

You smile as you see Shane checking out the truck. It’s beat up, but it looks just like the one he had in high school.

You see him turn around and scan his eyes for you. He has a big smile on his face, “this looks like my old truck!” he is beside himself and you just chuckle at him.

“It does look like it! He loved that thing,” Lori laughs.

“I wanted to be a date he took around in that truck so bad. He drove me home in it once,” you laugh. It seemed like such a big deal back then.

“A date?” Carol asks.

“Oh yeah, y/n here was in love with Shane in school.”

“Highschool sweethearts?” Carol smiles.

“Not exactly,” you laugh. “I was in love and he was a dumb high school boy.”

“Say no more!” Carol laughs.

“We were friends though!” you say.

“Y/n went to all of his football and baseball games,” Lori teases.

“So how did you end up together?” Carol smiles, she had a horrible husband, it made her smile to see the light in your eyes and love for Shane.

“Ten year high school reunion. He asked me to dinner, and two years later we were married.”

“Glad he finally came around,” Carol teases.

You smile at Carol’s comment, but a small feeling of sadness hits your gut as you look at Shane by that truck. The one time he took you home in the truck was one of the worst nights of your high school career.

It was your senior year. You and Shane had been friends all throughout school. You had friendly conversations on occasion, but you never hung out outside of school. You only ever ‘hung out’ at school activities like sitting by each other at high school basketball games or random school parties or trips.

Everyone knew you had a crush on him. Shane included.

You didn’t find out until your high school reunion, that the only reason he never asked you out was because he didn’t want you to think he was making fun of you.

That also meant he didn’t want to lead you on. He didn’t pity you, but he felt bad, he just wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t really have anyone he could get advice from. He had a string of girlfriends and Shane confessed to you years later, that he realized it had been you that he wanted the whole time.

It wasn’t until years later when you bumped into him at the store that made him realize.

He’d been dating a girl for several years, she was his college girlfriend. And when she dumped him, he just stayed single. He did his job as a deputy, but when he saw you in the store that day, and then at the reunion he knew. And it hit him. He remembered back to when he truly fell for you.

Turns out one of the worst nights for you in high school, was the night your future husband fell for you.

It was after a football game one Friday night of your senior year. Your team had won! And you had a gift for Shane. The ‘22’ necklace. Shane had been scouted by some college scouts looking for players. Shane had his choice of several schools who all wanted him to play for them. His birthday was the next week, and you wanted to give him a birthday/celebration gift. 

You’d saved up a lot of money to get him this nice necklace. You kept it with you for weeks. You had initially wanted to save it for his birthday, but since they won, and his birthday was in a couple days, you figured now would be a good time.

The locker room was outside near the parking lot. You’d catch him on the way there.

You waited around for a moment in between the parking lot and the locker room. Fans and families and players all walk past you, either to their cars or to the locker room. You wait patiently and nervously for Shane.

Your friend, who’s driving you home, stops to talk to you, and you almost miss Shane. Your friend gives your shoulder an encouraging squeeze and walks towards her car.

“Shane!” you find your voice and call out to him. You nervously push up your glasses as he turns around.

Your heart leaps into your throat, and you feel sick suddenly.

His curls are stuck to his forehead with sweat. His cheeks are covered in smudged eye black ball players wear under their eyes to keep the glare from the stadium lights out of his eyes. He’s holding his shoulder pads and helmet in one hand, and has them slung over his shoulder. His tank top is soaked and stuck to his skin. The arm holes have been cut low, you can see his sides peeking out on either side. And because one of his arms is holding his gear over his shoulder, part of his pec is exposed from where the tank top has shifted.

He’s looking at you, and your whole face is on fire.

“Hey!” he says with a genuine smile.

“Great game tonight Shane!” you tell him.

“Thank you! Glad you came!”

You fiddle with the box and start to speak when a couple other players come over.

“Hi Shaneee! Good game!!” they mimic you, and knock the box out of your hands.

“Hey! Cut it out!” Shane pushes the two guys off, and leans down to pick up the box.

“Good luck y/n!” one of the players teases, “Shane only screws hot girls, sometimes hot teachers!” they cackle and pat Shane on the back as they walk by.

You feel bile rise up in your throat and hot tears burn in your eyes.

“Can I drive you home?” Shane offers, “so I can apologize? Let me get my gym bag, I’ll be right back.”

You nod. You see your friend in her car nearby and you wave to her. She drives over, and you tell her Shane is taking you home, and that you’ll car her later. She is eager for you, but you don’t let on that you’re upset. She just assumes you’re nervous.

But you’re embarrassed and don’t know what to think about what the guys said.

You knew Shane had girlfriends. A lot of them. And you tried not to think of what he did with them. That was already upsetting enough. But a teacher?

Shane quickly comes back out, and has his gym bag over his shoulder. He’s got the same tank top on, but is wearing shorts instead of the football pants, and he left the shoulder pads in the locker room.

You approached his car, a black beat up pick up truck. He fishes his keys out of his pocket, and tosses the gym bag in the bed of the truck.

He unlocks the car, but comes around to your side.

“Here,” he says softly. “This door handle is tricky, doesn’t always work.”

Shane didn’t tell you til several years later, but that was a lie. The door handle worked just fine.

You flushed being so close to him. Especially in that tank top.

You climbed in his truck, and felt the butterflies in your tummy. You always wanted to know what it was like to be inside his truck. You’d daydreamed about him taking you for a drive and stopping to park to make out with you.

Shane closed the door behind you, and jogged around the front of the car to hop in. He turned the car on, and ‘Cherry Pie’ was playing on some rock station. Shane clicked it off quickly and reached for the glove compartment.

“Sorry, I smell bad,” he laughed and pulled out some deodorant from out of the glove compartment. When he did, a couple condoms came into view, he had those stashed inside.

You felt your cheeks heat up and he practically slammed the compartment door shut.

He put on the deodorant and just put it in the cup holder in the console.

“Where do you live?” he asked nervously.

You gave him your address, and hated living in a small town, you knew the drive wouldn’t be that long.

“So what’s in that box? That for me?”

“Yeah,” you blush. “But um I forgot something for it, so I’ll give it to you later ok?”

“Alright,” he shrugs. You think he knows you’re embarrassed, so he is casual about it.

“Shane?”

“Hmm?” he replies, chewing on his lip.

“Is it true?”

“What?”

“What they said….about the teacher?”

“Just a rumor. Some chick I dated wants to be a teacher, some idiot heard me wrong, started spreadin’ that. She broke up with me anyway.”

“Oh. Ok good.”

“Good?”

“Well you could get in trouble for that kind of thing.”

“Oh. Well yeah.”

Your heart sank when he pulled into your driveway. This was not exactly the kind of drive you had imagined with him. Usually in your imagination he rounded second base, but you were getting ahead of yourself.

“Shane, listen,” you swallow and your hands are shaking. “I care about you, it’s not secret. I just don’t want you getting hurt is all.”

“Thank you y/n.”

You open the door, and start to step out.

“Oh and y/n? Sorry about those shitheads earlier. You didn’t deserve that.” 

“Thank you,” you flush a little, and you see him smile. You close the door behind you, and he waits to pull out of the driveway until you are inside your house.

You get inside and immediately call your friend, you want to cry from embarrassment. But your heart won’t stop pounding in your ears.

A couple days later, on Shane’s birthday, you leave him the box with a little note inside his locker at school.

He thanked you later for the gift, and for remembering his birthday.

You didn’t know how much he cared about the necklace until you saw him wearing it at the high school reunion.

You had hoped that necklace would spark something. And it did, but the flame wouldn’t ignite until ten years down the road.

Shane had a girlfriend when you gave him the necklace. And everyone always gave you a hard time.

“Why like someone who will never like you back?”

But you didn’t care. You never cared. You loved him, and even though it broke your heart that it was never you he took out for a drive in that old beat up pick-up, you were always there for him.

And though he never dated you in school, he was always kind to you. It was genuine. He was always such a big flirt, but to you he was always sweet.

You asked him once, years later, about the necklace. You wondered why he still wore it. He confessed to you that you were the only one to give him a gift on his birthday that meant something. Most everything else was cheap or meaningless, and some people didn’t even care to remember. His own girlfriend didn’t even know.

His eyes were opened to you on that Friday night. He saw how truly sweet you were in just those small moments. You’re the first girl to appreciate him for him.

But under peer pressure, he stayed dating the girl he was with. Shane had a lot more going on back home than you realized. It wasn’t til you married him you learned all this.

His mom was never home, and he hadn’t seen or heard from his dad in years.

Shane mostly took care of himself since his mom worked nights.

Shane was a good kid, but he got caught up in girls and partying to distract from the hurt he felt from things at home. He was lonely. And since he didn’t have the advice he needed from his father, he screwed it all up.

Rick came along and helped some, straightened him out a bit. But even then, Rick was just a kid too. Shane quickly fell under Rick’s shadow. Then it was Rick and Lori’s shadow and Shane was the third wheel.

Shane kept his feelings for you close to his heart. He never told anyone. He didn’t want you getting hurt, so he avoided you spring semester. Which broke your heart, you thought you’d done something to offend him. You regretted getting him the necklace. And because you were embarrassed, you didn’t speak to him again until your high school reunion.

All that time you thought you’d made a fool of yourself so that’s why he avoided you. When in fact he didn’t want you hurt, and because he was a stupid high school boy, he ruined it.

But because your feelings never went away, and he never did anything to actually hurt you on purpose, you gave him a chance, and now you can’t imagine having anyone else by your side to keep you safe.

You wonder sometimes if Shane feels guilt about all that. Because he rarely brings up things from high school. The necklace, and now this truck are the only things he really talks about.

“So only once?” Carol asks.

“Just once. He took me home after a game. I was a nervous wreck in that truck. I was just hoping he’d suddenly lean in and kiss me or something,” you laugh.

You watch Shane as he finishes checking out the pick-up, when his eye spots a large truck with several containers of water.

You smile as you hear Shane and Glenn laughing. Shane dumps the water on his head, and you’re happy with this small moment of joy.

In one of the cars you’d snagged a pair of tennis shoes that are your size. You figure since Shane was so excited about the pick-up truck he’d be keeping it, so you go to put your shoes in the truck.

“Shane?” you call to him. “Is it unlocked?”

“Yeah! Should be!” he calls back and caps the water jug to keep it from spilling any further.

He walks over to the pick-up and reaches for the handle of the passenger side door.

“Think it might be stuck,” he winks with a soft smile.

He traps you and pins you in between his body and the side of the truck.

“Do you know how often I daydreamed about you taking me for a drive in your old truck?”

“Yeah?” he smiles. “What did we do in those daydreams huh?”

He leans in, his lips inches from yours.

“I let you round second base,” you shrug, but blush admitting your secret.

“That right?” he whispers and places a kiss to your lips, while his hand creeps up under your shirt.

His fingers reach the underside of your bra when Shane hears something.

You both turn your heads toward the sound, and see some walkers approaching.

“Get under the truck,” Shane whispers.

Scrambling as quietly as possible, you both dive under the truck bed.

You grasp Shane’s forearm as you watch the feet of the walkers shuffle past your vision. You hear your heart beating in your ears, and your lungs start to sting from holding your breath.

A loud growl close by causes you to jump and Shane squeezes your hand. You can tell he’s worried too.

When the last of the walkers pass from your sight, you let out a heavy sigh.

“Bet you never daydreamed about this did ya?” Shane whispers pressing a comforting kiss to your temple.

“Well certainly not under the truck bed….had other things in mind IN the truck bed,” you joke.

“Damn! Thought you said I only to second base!” He teases as he crawls out from under the truck to help you out.

The laughing between you stops when you hear the commotion up ahead. You all watch in horror as Sophia runs into the woods with two walkers after her.

Rick chases after them, and you all sit and wait for his return.

You watch the emotions of fear on the faces of everyone in the group. Carol’s face is nothing but a shocked expression.

There isn’t much to be done, no one is really sure what to do except wait. And when Rick does return, he’s alone. 

Shane, Daryl, and Glenn then decide to go with Rick to help look for her.

You feel tears prick up in your eyes. You don’t want Shane to go.

“Be safe,” you tell him. His hand cradles the back of your head, and he kisses your forehead. He whispers that he loves you in your ear.

Even though life is completely different than before, one thing is still the same.

You’ll always worry about your husband.

Every morning before he left for work. Every night when he’d come home from a late shift. Now the worry is different but then again it’s not. He’s doing what he’s supposed to do, and his life is at risk.

You pace back and forth. You somehow feel exposed with him gone.

But it’s not long before he returns with Glenn. Shane instructs people to move cars out of the way, to make room for the RV.

You work on moving your things from the RV to Shane’s new truck.

Dusk starts to settle in, and Rick and Daryl return. The search for Sophia will have to continue in the morning.

Everyone parks the cars near each other to settle in for the night.

You and Shane get in his new truck, and you can’t help but feel high school memories come back.

“You shouldn’t have parked so close to the other cars,” you whisper.

“Why’s that?” Shane raises an eyebrow.

“Some teenage fantasies never go away,” you grin.

“Shit girl,” Shane whispers and pulls you in for a kiss.

You’re already in the backseat of the truck so you could have more room to sleep. Shane pushes up the front seats as far as they’ll go to give you both even more space. Shane takes off his shirt and lays it down on the floor of the truck, and lays you down.

His hand claps over your mouth as his body moves. He sucks a hickey on your chest, and your nails dig into his back and one of his biceps.

“So much better than your daydreams right?” Shane purrs in your ear before he gets up from on top of you.

You just smile at him, and stay down. Shane feels around on the backseat for the discarded clothes and you get dressed before bed. You climb up onto the backseat and lay down, Shane stays on the floor of the truck to sleep.

When you wake the next morning, just like every morning, you remember the terrible world you live in.

Sophia was out there alone all night, and you feel such worry for her and Carol.

The whole group goes out looking for her in the woods.

“Really wish I’d taught ya somethin’ about weapons,” Shane shakes his head at himself as you walk.

Being out in the woods, Shane was the only ‘weapon’ you have for your safety. And if anything were to happen to him, you’d be unsafe. Of course the group looks out for each other, but Shane really is your strength.

Daryl sees a tent, and Carol calls out to Sophia, but there’s no answer. Another small defeat.

Some church bells begin to ring in the distance, and the group follows the sound.

Still no Sophia at the church. Rick, Shane, and Daryl took out three walkers, and the group stands in the heat trying to decide the next move.

Rick and Shane come to a decision, they’ll stick around and keep looking while everyone else head back to the highway.

Which means separating from Shane. Again.

It makes you nervous, but you know it needs to be done. You see the deputy in him coming out, he wants to look for this little girl.

So just like last night, you have a moment with him before you part ways.

“Be safe,” it’s what you always say.

“Love you darlin.”

You hug him and turn to go with the rest of the group.

You’re quiet as you walk with the group in the woods. Andrea and Lori get into an argument about guns. Carol is worried about Sophia. Tensions are high, but things don’t really escalate anywhere. Everyone is stressed. You stay close to Daryl, you trust him. But your stomach is still in knots being away from Shane.

A single gunshot is heard in the distance, and that doesn’t settle your nerves.

Everyone heard it, and it’s sort of shrugged off. You can’t let it bother you. You have enough to worry about it so you keep walking.

Tensions arise again when Andrea falls when a walker grabs her. You feel defenseless and it’s a horrible feeling. You want Shane to teach you things as soon as possible.

In a flash, a young woman rides in on a horse. She hits the walker with a bat, and calls your name.

Your heart stops.

“Y/n Walsh?”

“Yes?” you feel sick.

“Rick sent me to get you, there’s been an accident. He’s alive, but you need to go now. Shane’s been shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Jon Bernthal hates Shane's green Hyundai....I gave him a black truck instead. I think Jon would approve. ;)


	8. Shot

“What? Are you ok? How did this happen?” you’re frantic on the phone with Shane.

“Rick’s in surgery, I just went and told Lori at the school, I’m on my way home now.”

Shane hangs up the phone, and you set down your phone on the counter in the bathroom.

You’re in shock.

Rick’s been shot.

Rick!

You’ve known him since you can remember! He was your lab partner in chemistry class junior year. He was Shane’s best man at your wedding a year ago! Rick is the one who talked Shane into asking you out in the first place. 

All these thoughts are running through your mind. You wonder if you should call the restaurant and cancel the reservations for your anniversary dinner. You think it might be best, since you know Shane is going to want to go to the hospital, and you need to be with him. And you’re upset too, you love the whole Grimes family. You’re already a little bummed that your anniversary night isn’t turning out like you’d planned. But these things happen, and you want to be there for Lori and Carl, and most importantly, your husband.

You glance at yourself in the mirror, your hair is only half done. So you just do what you can to make yourself look presentable.

You can hear the front door open, and you move quickly to see Shane. He closes the door behind him and locks the bolt.

He doesn’t move.

His hand stays on the lock, and he props his other hand against the door. His head is hanging and he’s breathing shaky breaths.

“Shane?” you whisper, almost afraid to startle him.

You see his shoulders visibly relax when he hears your voice.

He turns, and you run to his arms.

He sniffles once, but hugs you tighter than he has in a long time. It’s so tight it hurts you. Shane buries his face in your neck and breathes deeply. You rub your hands on his shoulders to calm him.

“You look beautiful,” Shane says in your ear.

“What? Oh! Thank you,” you forgot you are wearing the dress you bought for dinner tonight.

He pulls away to look at you. He smiles, and he likes the dress, but you can tell he’s shaken.

“Should I call the restaurant?” you ask.

His eyebrows crease in thought.

“We need to go down to the hospital. I don’t want Lori and Carl to be alone. And besides we’ll just be sitting there at dinner worried about everything.”

“You sure? I know you’re excited, hell I was too.”

“We can get them squared away, see what’s going on with him, then come back here and eat. Ok?” you ask him while you run your fingers through his hair.

He nods.

“I think I’m gonna change though before we go.”

You go into the bedroom, and Shane follows.

He untucks his uniform shirt and starts to unbutton it. Such a contrast from this morning. He’s struggling with fear and grief wondering if his best friend is ok. Just this morning he got dressed in a hurry and was grumpy he had to go in early for work. Now all of his movements are slow. You don’t pry, he’ll tell you when he’s ready.

You hear the badge on his shirt clink to the floor when it drops. And you know something is wrong when Shane doesn’t pick it up. He tosses the gun belt on the dresser, and takes off his shoes and pants.

He turns to face you and the hurt in his eyes breaks your heart.

Normally seeing Shane in a tight black t-shirt and his boxers would’ve made your heart flutter. But his eyes look so hurt, you feel the pain too.

“You shaved,” you smile and walk towards him, trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

You reach for his face and touch his smooth cheeks. You pull him in for a kiss and he graciously accepts.

“Thought you were gonna change?” he teases a little.

“I’m just worried about you.”

“Nah, I’ll be alright.”

“Shane.”

“Don’t wanna ruin tonight.”

“I didn’t marry you just for the good times Shane. We’ve gone through things together, we’ll go through this. I’m not upset with you for being worried about your best friend. I’m worried too! Now get dressed!”

“Damn I love you,” he says and pulls you in for a hug.

“I love you too baby. Now get dressed!” you smile.

“I thought I told you I don’t wanna hear you say that ever again!” he teases referring to what you told him earlier that morning.

He opens a drawer to get out some pants, and he’s about to put them on when he freezes in his tracks.

You slip off your dress and have on a pair of lacy underwear – Shane’s favorite pair on you.

“That for me?”

Your cheeks flush but you smirk, “no they’re actually for the mailman.”

“I knew I didn’t like that guy,” Shane jokes back. “You look sexy as hell darlin.” He walks over and smooths his hands over your ass. You feel the warmth of his fingertips through the lace.

“Sorry you saw one of the surprises.”

“One?” Shane smirks, “got somethin’ else for me girl?”

“This isn’t your gift!” you laugh, “You’re gonna have to be patient for those mister,” you poke his chest.

You have your real gift for him hidden along with your lingerie.

“I got two things for you too. Shit I just remembered I was going to pick one of them up at the store on my way back home from work.”

“On the way back from the hospital you can get it, and I’ll act real surprised in the parking lot,” you tease.

That gets a real smile from him.

“You don’t know what it is!”

“I have a guess!”

He squeezes your ass and kisses you gently, then pulls away so you can both get dressed.

You both sigh to prepare yourselves as you climb into the car. The trip to the hospital seems so long. And you’re about halfway there when you start to cry. A horrible horrible thought crosses your mind.

What if it had been Shane instead of Rick?

You let out a sob louder than you meant, and Shane places a hand on your thigh.

When Shane parks the car, you both get out and you can’t help but hug him.

“It could’ve been you,” you sob.

“I know darlin. I know. Scared the shit out of me today.”

“Am I horrible for thinking this?”

“No. You hear me? No.” he holds your face in his hands and makes you look at him. “I know you don’t want Rick in there either. But it could’ve been me and that’s been in my head all day too.”

He hugs you tight for another moment, then he sighs.

“Ok. We gotta be strong for them alright? It’s gonna be hard. I hate this part of the job. But it’s part of it.”

You nod, and you watch Shane toughen up on the spot. He pushes his worry aside. The concern is still all over his face, but it’s different.

You tear up when you see Lori and Carl in the waiting room. You all hug each other, and sit down to talk.

“So how’s he doin?” Shane asks.

“He’s in surgery still,” Lori answers.

“Do y’all need anything while we wait?” you ask.

“You don’t have to stay! It’s your anniversary!”

“We’re not leavin’ til we know how he is,” Shane replies.

You talk with Lori as you wait. As a wife of a cop, you understand. Shane sits on the floor with Carl. Shane sees Carl has a deck of cards so he teaches him some card tricks.

After about an hour of waiting the doctor comes out to deliver the news.

It’s not good either.

Rick is stable, but he’s in a coma.

More hugs are shared, and tears are shed. You sit with them for a while longer, but you and Shane still haven’t eaten.

You and Shane make sure Lori and Carl get home ok, then Shane goes to get what he needs to get for you at the store. Then you’ll go eat.

You sit in the parking lot and giggle when he comes out of the store. He’s got whatever the gift is behind his back and he motions for you to close your eyes.

Shane gets in the car, and kisses your cheek.

“Open,” he says.

In his hand is your favorite kind of ice cream. But it’s special because that store has your favorite brand of it, and it’s the only one in town.

You laugh, but in a small way it really is exciting, they are always out of your favorite kind.

“I got you flowers too, they were supposed to be delivered to the front door, but I got a call earlier that there was a mix up. So you’ll get ‘em tomorrow. Your big present it at home.”

“My big present?”

“Nuh uh no questions.”

“Ok ok!” you laugh. “I think I know what we can do tonight.”

“What’s that?” Shane asks and starts up the car.

“We eat dinner, I’ll eat this ice cream…I might even share it with you. And then we’ll look at our wedding album and exchange gifts.”

“You’ll share with me huh?” Shane teases. “And that sounds perfect. What do you wanna eat?”

You feel silly making a schedule but after the chaos today, it makes you feel better.

Shane drives through a barbeque place, and you laugh because this is so not the night you had planned. Eating messy barbeque sandwiches with Shane for your anniversary, but yet it was kind of perfect.

Shane’s hurting and you know he is, but he still manages to make you laugh at dinner. He takes a huge bite of the sandwich on purpose, but a huge drop of barbeque sauce lands on his t-shirt.

You giggle as he just says ‘screw it’ and takes off the shirt. You see the ‘22’ necklace shine in the light from kitchen. Seeing it will always make you smile. Reminds you of that curly haired boy who stole your heart. And he grew into a man who you’re lucky enough to call your husband. High school you wouldn’t believe it. Here you are celebrating your first wedding anniversary with him.

Though it’s still not the night you had planned, that doesn’t mean it’s not wonderful.

There is an air of heartache and worry about Rick. And a feeling of relief that it’s not Shane in that hospital. So many confusing emotions all mixed with the ones of happiness remembering your wedding a year ago.

You’re almost done with your sandwich when a huge splat of sauce falls onto your shirt.

Shane nods his head, motioning for you to take off your shirt. You shrug and take it off and toss it on the kitchen floor where Shane tossed his. He gets up from the kitchen table, and slides off his pants. He walks towards the fridge and gets your ice cream out of the freezer.

“Oh are we losing the pants now too?” you ask as he hands you a spoon and the ice cream.

“We’re gonna lose all these clothes in a bit, so we might as well now,” he winks.

You dip your spoon into the ice cream, take a bite, and stand to slip off your pants. With the spoon still in your mouth, you go to the bedroom to get the wedding photo album. You swing your hips a little exaggerated to tease Shane as you walk out. You do the same when you walk back in.

Shane could not have a bigger smug smile on his face.

You just flash him a smile and get your ice cream and go sit on the couch.

“Wipe your hands I don’t want barbeque sauce on my wedding photos.”

Shane can’t quit smiling at you.

He joins you on the couch, and he turns the pages while you eat your ice cream. You can’t help but giggle at the whole situation. There you both are sitting in your underwear looking at your wedding pictures. You give Shane an occasional mouthful of ice cream as he flips through.

You laugh and smile at certain pictures.

“You looked so beautiful that day. Look beautiful now, but-“ Shane smiles at a certain picture of just you.

“I look beautiful in my underwear eating ice cream?” you joke.

“Hell yeah!” he pecks your neck quickly with a kiss.

“You looked so handsome that day too, especially in that tie,” you tease. Shane has a strict no tie rule, unless it is absolutely necessary.

He rolls his eyes playfully. 

Shane kept flipping through, and a pang of sorrow hits your gut when you see the pictures Shane is looking at.

There’s a couple pictures of you and Shane and Rick. One is posed, but the other is a candid one and you’re all laughing.

Shane lets out a heavy sigh, and you feel tears in your eyes. There had been other pictures with Rick in them since he was the best man, but these were a sharp reminder.

You set your ice cream container on the coffee table and climb into Shane’s lap to finish looking at the pictures.

“He’ll be fine,” you say when Shane sets the book down.

“I hope so.”

You sniffle, “Ok ok Rick wouldn’t want us to be sad tonight. He’s half the reason we’re together.” You laugh trying to lighten the mood.

“Half?”

“Yeah, Shane, he called me over at the punch table. You might not have seen me otherwise.”

“That’s where you’re wrong see. Darlin I’d had my eye on you all night. Just not sure how to go up to ya. I didn’t know what to say. After I treated you after you gave me this?” he touches the necklace. “Shit I wanted to ask you out so bad in school, but my mind wasn’t in the right place for it. Didn’t know what in the hell I was doin’. Still don’t half the time.” He laughs.

You smile and sit up in his lap.

“Well lucky for you I know what we should do right now…why don’t you go put those clothes in the wash and I’ll get your gift ready.”

“Ready huh?” Shane smirks.

“You better not have found my surprise!! This better not be a repeat of you finding all my gifts for you at Christmas last year.”

“You didn’t hide them good enough! You have a cop for a husband babe I’m supposed to find out things.” His smug smile is still on his face. He thrives off teasing you. “but don’t worry, I didn’t find your surprise this time. Didn’t want to spoil it.”

Pressing a kiss to his forehead, you take the rest of the ice cream back to the freezer. With a spring in your step you walk to the bedroom.

Digging the lingerie out of its hiding spot, you go into the bathroom to change. Shane’s real present is hidden in the bag with the lingerie. It’s a watch. The traditional first anniversary gift is something on paper. The modern first anniversary gift is a clock. So, you get him a nice watch. He’s got one, but this one is a nicer one that he can wear outside of work.

You leave the watch in the box, and change into your lingerie. You hear the bedroom door open, and blush to yourself, because you know Shane is going to like this.

“You ready?” you call to Shane through the bathroom door.

“C’mon girl,” he calls back.

You step out of the bathroom, and you hear Shane softly whisper, “Holy shit.”

With a smile you walk over to him and climb on his lap.

“So do you like your gift?” you purr.

Shane hums in response and kisses your neck. His hands wander your skin, squeezing, and stroking his thumbs over sensitive flesh.

He tears his hand away for a moment, to get your gift sitting next to him on the bed.

“Happy anniversary,” he smiles and hands you the little box.

Gasping you open the box to reveal a simple but elegant diamond necklace. You mentioned to him once how you’d always wanted one, it warms your heart he remembered.

“Wanted you to have somethin’ nice,” he smiles almost bashfully. He’s always been good at getting you gifts. Your birthday, and Christmas, he always is so thoughtful. “Know it’s not really the tradition. Guess the paper gift will just have to be the card I wrote that’ll come with your flowers.”

“You know about the traditional gift?”

“Looked ‘em up. The married guys at work were giving me a hard time,” Shane laughs. He takes the necklace out of the box and fastens it around your neck.

You touch the necklace on your neck, “thank you,” you whisper.

Smiling you reach for his present, “I did go with tradition on this one.” You hand him the box and he clicks it open.

“Oh wow this is-“ he takes it out and looks it over. He takes off the watch he’s wearing and slides the new one down his wrist. “This is so much better than my old one.”

“You’re welcome,” you laugh.

Shane kisses you deeply in thanks, and the kisses start to get more heated. Shane slips his tongue into your mouth, and his hand grabs a fistful of your hair. His other hand is on your back, and you feel the cool metal band of the watch give you chills on your bare skin.

Shane has you gasping from his kisses alone before any of the underwear is shed.

He turns you over and lays you out on the bed, he kisses your body up and down. He pays special attention to your weak spots that he knows like the back of his hand.

In moments your lingerie is on the floor along with his boxers.

You cling to his shoulders as he finds his rhythm. The ‘22’ necklace brushes against your chest, and you can’t help but think to how your 17 year old self would have DIED if she knew this would happen to her in the future.

Your cries of pleasure mix with his groans, he falls in a heap on top of you when you both find your release. Your arms only tighten around his shoulders, the intimacy and safety you feel in his arms is exactly what you needed. The fear and panic and worry of loss today had you and Shane both shaken.

It could’ve been him. What if he had been shot on your anniversary?

But he’s here in your arms, and he’s just brought you to pleasure in the best way.

He hums a little and kisses your neck over and over. He traces his finger on the diamond necklace you still have on. He slides down, and rests his head on your chest. His ear over your heart. He smiles as he hears it still pounding.

Your hands weave into his hair and you feel his breathing against your skin. For the moment, all is well.

~

“What?!” You clutch your chest and you feel like you can’t breathe.

“You gotta come now!” the woman tells you. And without hesitation you climb on the back of the horse. She gives the group some instructions on how to get to the farm, and you hear Daryl yell about not going with a stranger but you don’t care.

The ride to their house is all a blur to you. When you get to the house, you see a couple people in the front yard. You don’t know any of them. The woman who came to get you, Maggie, helps you off the horse. Your knees are trembling so badly you can barely walk.

Tears are streaming down your face as you walk into the house.

Carl is sitting in the living room, a young blonde girl, Beth is sitting with him. Carl looks pale, he’s scared.

“My dad went to go get medicine,” Carl tells you. You think he’s trying to cheer you up, but you’re terrified.

You walk into the room where Shane is and you start to sob.

Shane’s unconscious. His abdomen is wrapped in bloody bandages. His bare chest is sprinkled with blood.

Crying, you climb onto the bed and lay on his good side. You cry onto his shoulder while you comb your fingers through his hair.

“Shane, it’s me. I’m here,” you tell him.

You here floorboards creak, and you turn to see Hershel. You sit up and he introduces himself and explains what happened.

One of their men, Otis, was hunting a deer. The bullet went through the deer, but hit Shane in his side. Rick and Otis left to get medical supplies, because the bullet fragments are deep. It took all of them to hold Shane down to get out the first one.

But not because he was in pain.

He was worried about you.

He’d lost a lot of blood and was delirious and thought you were in danger.

Your heart aches as Hershel tells you all this. And you don’t stop combing your hand through Shane’s hair.

Now you have to wait for Rick and Otis to return.

You lay back down on the bed and hug Shane’s arm to your body. You know he’s strong. He’s a fighter. And you know you should be strong for him. You feared this would happen when he was a deputy, but this isn’t any easier.

You’re in a house full of strangers, and you must wait for medical supplies. This isn’t like waiting in a hospital. It’s so much worse. Any minute now walkers could come through the gates and you’d be helpless.

After a while, you hear car doors, and some other members of the group arrive.

Lori comes over to the bed and squeezes your hand. It was only just a few months ago the roles were reversed. Lori leaves you to give you space, you understand. She’s worried about Rick being out there now.

Other members of the group trickle in to check on you. It’s comforting but nothing will put you at ease until your boy is awake.

You never let go of Shane’s arm. You lie awake waiting as time ticks by. Just waiting for them to return with the medical supplies.

You smooth your hand up his chest, and reposition yourself a little so your head is on his chest. Tears burn your eyes because you would give anything if you could feel his arm wrap around you. You can hear his heartbeat, it’s faint but it’s still there. Still fighting. All you can do is hope and pray he’ll be alright.

You press a kiss to his chest, and your heart jumps when you hear a car door outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to get to this chapter for a long time. More to come! Hope y'all enjoyed this one!~


	9. Scars

Rick enters the house, alone. He’s got all the needed supplies, and looks like he went through a lot to get it. Carl and Lori run up to him, he looks like he's in shock. Glenn has to help Rick carry the supplies inside the bedroom.

Hershel, Patricia, Maggie, Jimmy, Glenn, and Rick all join you in the bedroom. Now that Hershel has the supplies he needs, he can remove the last couple bullet fragments. But to do so, Shane has to be moved from the bed to the operating table. Rick calls for Daryl to help.

You climb off the bed and watch as Rick, Daryl, Glenn, and Jimmy lift Shane’s limp body to the table. They all grunt lifting him, he’s heavy.

Kindly, Hershel tells you that you may not want to stay for the surgery. Before you leave, you press a kiss to Shane’s forehead. You stand up straight and look to Hershel, he nods.

“We’re gonna take care of your boy,” he says gently. He nods at Maggie, and she puts a hand on your shoulder.

“C’mon,” Maggie says gently and takes your arm. You turn your back to look once more at your husband.

You see red on Shane’s skin as Hershel takes off the bandage and you feel a little woozy seeing your husband’s blood. Shane is so ashen and pale from blood loss, the bloodstains on his skin stand out.

Maggie, more firmly this time, tugs on your arm again. She takes you upstairs to her room.

“What are we doing?” you ask. You want to wait downstairs not in here.

“You are gonna take a shower.”

“What if he wakes up?”

“You have at least an hour before daddy will be done. Shower.”

She’s firm but still kind, and you know she’s right.

You go into her bathroom and look in the mirror. Your eyes are puffy from crying. Your hair is a mess. And you have Shane’s blood smeared all over your cheek from when you were laying your head down on him.

“I don’t have any clothes, they’re in…his truck,” you tell Maggie as you walk back out of the bathroom.

Quickly you go downstairs to find Glenn before Maggie can stop you.

“What’s wrong?” he asks. You don’t cry, but you feel tears in your eyes. 

“My clothes are in the truck I think the keys are in his pocket. Can you-?”

It’s not the clothes you care about, you probably could borrow some, but that truck already has sentimental value.

Glenn sees your tears and pulls you in for a hug.

“It’s taken care of, I drove it up here when we got the news.”

You hug him tighter, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

Maggie had followed you downstairs, and she saw the whole thing. She smiles seeing Glenn hug you.

“I’ll get Glenn here to show me where the truck is. I’ll get your clothes. Go shower. You’ll feel better.”

She squeezes your arm, and you does as she asks.

The second you step in the tub and feel the spray of the shower on your skin, and you feel numb. You physically feel the warmth, but inside, you feel numb. The last time you were in the shower, Shane was in there with you. Now you’re alone and the silence is loud. It feels empty in the shower.

Before all this, when life was normal, you and Shane showered together on occasion, but it wasn’t regular. Usually it was Shane joining you during one of your showers. He showered in the morning or at the station or the gym after workouts. You could shower with him if you got up early enough. But since you showered at night, and he would be home, he’d not-so-subtly sneak in and join you in your shower. Or showering together was ‘planned’ for love making. So you’ve showered alone, because he didn’t always join you. But since life has changed and walkers now exist, you’ve showered once. One shower in a couple months, and that one shower at the CDC was with Shane.

You’re scared at the potential of loss. And even now you feel guilty for taking this shower, but there is nothing you can do but wait. So you wash your hair, but while you do, you think about how you’d do anything to feel Shane’s fingers weaving in your wet hair. You clean the dirt and grime off your body and you miss the feeling of his hands smoothing down your skin. You miss the comfort his touch brought to you. You just miss him.

A knock at the door distracts you from your aching fantasy.

Your heart jumps because you’re afraid something could’ve happened while you’ve been in the shower.

“Y/n? It’s Maggie, got your clothes.”

“Come in!” you answer with relief.

“Do you want me to just leave the bag?”

“That’s fine.”

“Towel’s on the counter next to your glasses.”

“Thank you.”

You here the door click, and you’re alone again. You get out, dry off, and search through Shane’s duffle to get out your clothes. You feel an ache when you see his clothes in there. Needing to feel him, you take out his navy blue shirt. You button it and roll up the sleeves and finish getting dressed.

Adjusting your glasses on your nose, you go back into Maggie’s room.

Maggie and Beth are sitting on her bed waiting for you. They’re quietly chit chatting but stop when you walk in.

“Is he ok?” you ask as you start towel drying your hair.

“Daddy’s patchin’ him up right now,” Beth answers.

“We want to know if there is anything else we can do. Do you want to talk? Or do you want some company? We don’t want you to go through this alone.”

You nod and sit down on the bed. You barely know these girls, but you want to wait just a moment to gather your strength before you go downstairs. Suddenly you start talking and you don’t even know what your point is but talking about Shane makes you feel better.

Maggie and Beth smile as you being to tell your story.

You and Shane had only been dating a couple weeks. He’d taken you to dinner a couple days after the high school reunion. But you both wanted to see each other again, and you started officially seeing each other.

But it was still early in the nervous stage. You were a mess, because you couldn’t believe it was really happening. Shane was nervous, because he didn’t want to mess it all up.

He started slow with you. He told you upfront, he didn’t want to rush anything. He’d wasted so much time with other women, he wanted things to be right this time.

You couldn’t be happier, because you wanted to soak it all in. You were enjoying every bit of it.

But so far all of the dates had been official planned dates. But that day, he called you and asked you to lunch. It was a last minute random date, but for some reason that one meant a lot to you. He thought of you during the day and wanted to see your face. You already had a date planned that night, but he was too impatient.

So of course you said yes.

But on the way to the restaurant, your stomach started hurting. At first you thought it was just jitters, but suddenly the pain was so sharp you gasped aloud.

Next thing you knew, Shane was driving you to the ER. Before you knew it you were in a gown about to get wheeled off to have your appendix removed. Your pain was stronger than your embarrassment for the moment that you were on a date only to be brought to the hospital.

And it wasn’t just any date either. It was your first casual date with Shane!

Maggie started to laugh when you said that.

“Casual dates are important!!” she smiles.

“What happened next? Did he stay?” Beth asks.

Shane did stay. He waited in the waiting room until you were moved to a room to recover.

When you came to, he was sitting in a chair in the corner.

“Hey! Look who’s awake!” Shane stood and walked over to your bed. He smoothed your hair off your forehead and pressed a soft kiss to your head.

You don’t remember much because you were on pain meds, but Shane has been more than happy to fill in the gaps of your memory.

His favorite is you telling him that he has a great ass.

Maggie almost fell off the bed laughing, and Beth was blushing from secondhand embarrassment.

“Does he?” Maggie teases.

You just nod with a smirk.

“But I wasn’t ready to admit that yet! It was so early!” you laughed. “He’s never let me live that one down.”

“That’s so sweet that he stayed,” Beth says.

Someone knocks on Maggie’s door, and again it startles you.

It’s Jimmy at the door.

Hershel is done, and Shane is asleep.

You thank Maggie and Beth for talking with you. Maggie takes the towel you used to dry your hair from you, and you throw your damp hair into a bun.

Maggie and Beth walk down with you. And you’re grateful for them already though you barely know them. They said they didn’t want you to be alone, and while you had everyone in the group downstairs, it was nice to have others to talk to.

You walk through the living room and only see the Grimes family and Glenn. Some of the others are out looking for Sophia.

Glenn nods at you with a smile and goes outside to sit on the porch. Maggie follows him.

Rick is sitting with Lori and Carl, and Rick looks shaken. He’s concerned about his best friend, and you. But you did notice he came back alone, meaning something happened to Otis. You wonder what happened, but not enough to keep you from going into the bedroom to check on Shane.

Hershel is clearing out his supplies when you walk in.

“How is he?” you’re almost afraid to ask.

“He’s gonna be just fine. He’s strong. Might be a bit before he wakes, make sure he gets some water when he wakes up. Let me know when he does.”

“I don’t know how to thank you.”

Hershel simply smiles and leaves you alone with Shane.

You can already tell he’s getting better. His coloring is good, he doesn’t look as pale. His side is bandaged, and his skin is clean of the bloodstains.

Carefully you climb on the bed. You lean back against the headboard, your thigh next to his head. Slowly you smooth your hand over his forehead and hair. Gently you scratch his scalp, and repeat the motion over and over.

You stay awake all night. You watch his chest rise and fall slowly for hours. You try to sleep but it won’t come. So you sit in the stillness of the room listening to your husband breathe.

You see light faintly in the window when Shane begins to stir.

Before he opens his eyes, he winces in pain when he moves.

“Hey, sh sh sh, you need to lie still Shane,” you tell him.

He opens his eyes, and immediately smiles when he sees your face.

"You're wearin' my shirt," he whispers with a smile.

You feel an ache in your chest and you smile. That was the first thing he noticed.

“I was havin’ a nice dream,” he says softly.

“Yeah?” you giggle happy he’s awake. “Was I in it?”

“You’re what made the dream nice.”

You smile, and tears of joy fill your eyes, “I’m so happy you’re awake Shane.”

“Where am I?” he asks looking around. He tries to sit up but winces again.

“We’re at a house. You were shot.”

His hand goes to his side as if he remembers.

“Are you ok?” he asks.

“I am now,” you say and lean down to press a kiss to his lips. His hand cradles your head, and you hold his cheeks in your hands. You feel his stubble lightly scratch your palms. “I was so worried.” You say as you pull away.

“I’m alright darlin,” he says and again tries to sit up.

“Shane sit your ass down. You were just shot and cut open a couple hours ago. You need to rest.” You stand up and get the glass of water Hershel left on the dresser.

“My great ass?” he smiles a knowing smile.

You bite your lip trying not to smile.

“’Shane,’” he starts to mimic you. “’I know we haven’t been dating that long but you’ve always had a great ass!’”

“I was just thinking about that!” you laugh and hand him the glass of water.

“My ass?”

“Shane!” you scoff playfully. “That story. Of when you waited for me in the hospital.”

“Oh yeah,” he replies, his teasing tone stops and he remembers how worried he’d been for you that day.

He takes a long drink from the glass, and you find yourself blushing seeing his adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Thinking about his hands on your body when you were in the shower had left you missing him in more ways than one.

Quickly to hide your blush, you keep talking.

“That always meant a lot to me, that you stayed,” you tell him as you kiss his forehead and take the glass from him.

Shane’s hand reached for your hip, and slid under your shirt. His thumb traces over your tiny scar from your surgery.

“Guess we have matching scars now. Though I’d prefer we didn’t,” you joke.

“Me either,” he groans as he feels the pain in his side.

“At least you’re here. That’s all that matters.”

“C’mere,” Shane beckons with his hand, and he pulls you down to kiss him deeply. Out of habit you want to throw your leg over his waist. You get halfway, but stop remembering, and put your knee in between his legs.

Shane can’t help but smile.

“I just woke up and you already itchin’?” his grin grows bigger. You know he’s trying to lighten the mood. He can’t imagine what you went through.

You giggle and lay down next to him on his good side. You curl up under his arm and tears well up in your eyes when he wraps his arm around your body. “That was one of the longest nights.”

Because in recent years during your long nights, you had Shane to lean on and he had you. Like the night when Rick was in the hospital.

“Sorry darlin,” he says and reaches for your hand. “Just think about the long nights we had together alright? Like that one when we had our romantic getaway weekend? Kept you up all night,” he winks. “We should do that again.” 

You smile but you still feel the tears. He’s lying in bed recovering from being shot and here he is trying to make you smile by being silly and flirting.

“A romantic getaway? Where?” you laugh.

“You let me worry about that!” he laughs with you.

You hear a knock, and hear Maggie’s voice.

“Y/n?”

“You can come in!” you say and sit up in the bed.

Maggie walks in and smiles seeing Shane is awake and a smile on your face.

“I heard laughin’ and wanted to see how y’all were doin’. Hope I’m not interrupting.”

“He’s doin’ just fine. I was just about to go get your dad actually.”

“I’ll go get him!” she offers and closes the door behind her as she leaves.

“Romantic getaway huh? Don’t make promises you can’t keep Walsh.” You smile and poke his chest.

“As soon as doc lets me up out of this better I promise I’m gonna take care of that little itch ya got,” he smirks and starts to slide his hand down your pants. 

You gasp out a laugh and you blush. His fingers just slip past the hem of your underwear when the door opens. You’re not even shocked at how quickly Shane has his hand out and how completely innocent he looks.

He gives you a little wink when you stand to let Hershel look over Shane to check his vitals.

You feel a mix of relief and exhaustion take over.

Finally something good happens.


	10. Cherry Pie

The search for Sophia continues. Shane is on the mend, and is recovering well. He’s got his strength back, but his body is too sore for too much movement. He’s slept a lot, and you have too. Rest is something you both needed.

The group got settled in at the farm. A little base camp was set up outside the farmhouse. You did what you could to help set up while Shane recovers.

You’d finally gotten your hands on a mattress now, and that would be so much better for him to sleep on than old sleeping bags. Because soon Shane would be back in the tent instead of in the house. For now you sleep with him in the house, but once he gets better, you’ll both join the group outside.

Shane is getting restless. He wants to get out and help look for Sophia. He feels like him being in bed is slowing the group down, and putting more lives at risk.

“You deserve to rest Shane. We all need it. Just the other night you made me go to sleep,” you laugh.

“You stayed up all night to watch me it was time you slept. But baby I can help now.”

“Shane, you can barely move without feeling soreness in your side. It’s only been two days. You need to take it easy. I don’t want you to rush and overdo it and get hurt.”

He let out an angry sigh.

“Don’t you sigh at me like that Shane. Don’t you dare.”

“I’m not gonna just walk into the woods alone in the middle of walkers! Me bein’ here is not safe. We can’t get used to this.”

“Get used to what? Being safe?!”

“Not keeping sharp! Bein’ lazy ain’t protectin’ us from anythin’.”

“So me needing rest is being lazy? What happened to you wanting me to get rest? And you need to heal Shane! You almost died! I watched you lose blood. You were so pale I thought I was going to lose you! What is wrong with you? A couple days for you to recuperate won’t hurt!” you scoff and get up to go outside.

“Darlin wait-“

“I’m going outside, don’t wanna be lazy!” you snap and slam the door a little louder than you meant. You heard him say “damn it” as you walk out. Angry and guilty tears begin to pour down your cheeks as you go outside to cool off.

But in this Georgia humidity there isn’t much cooling off to be had.

You quickly try and wipe your tears and see Carol and Lori are hanging up laundry. You reach for some clothes to hang up you hear them talking about how they want to cook for Hershel and his family.

“What do you think?” Carol asks.

They both look to you, and your mind is elsewhere.

“Everything alright?” Lori asks.

“Shane and I got into a little argument and I yelled at him. I hate fighting with him,” you wipe a stray tear off with your sleeve.

“You know what it is don’t you?” Lori says.

You give her a questioning look.

“He’s feeling trapped. He’s been in that bed for a couple days. When has Shane ever been so still? He’s always movin’.”

You start to smile, “I used to have to make him sit down and relax when he was stressed.”

“See? He wants to help out around here and he can’t. And ya know, he’s probably ahem…frustrated in other ways too.”

Carol chuckles when you blush.

“Now I feel really terrible!” you groan. “I yelled at him!”

“Go apologize,” Lori says with a knowing look.

Your blushing is interrupted when you hear Andrea yell, “Walker!”

You feel a wave of fear wash over you. This is the first time a walker has been nearby and you didn’t have Shane to shield you. What if something happens? You just yelled at him a few minutes ago, that can’t be your last words to him.

Chaos ensues, and Rick, Glenn, and T-Dog run towards the walker. Andrea fires a shot and you hear more yelling.

The walker wasn’t even a walker, it was Daryl, and Andrea shot him in the head.

They take Daryl inside to get him patched up, and you follow the women to help cook. You see the closed door to the room where Shane is. You feel a pang of guilt and go knock on the door.

“Yeah?” he says. You wince.

“Shane?” you say as you walk in. “I’m sorry.”

He’s sitting upright on the bed, and he looks at you. His eyes look sad.

“No need to be sorry girl. I’m the one who snapped at ya. You’ve done nothin’ but be supportive and watchin’ over me.”

“I know you’re tired of being in this bed. I got us a mattress for the tent so maybe tonight after dinner you could come out there? So we can have some privacy?”

Shane smiles and nods, and you see the beginning of a smirk starting to form.

“I gotta go help with dinner, but we’ll talk later,” you kiss his forehead quickly.

“Can’t hide from me forever girl,” Shane smiles as you dash out flustered.

In this new world intimate moments, especially sexual ones, have become rare. You’re always with people, it’s difficult to get privacy. Often times for you and Shane, it happens on the fly and it’s quick. Can’t really enjoy the more slow tender lovin’ Shane has for you. But now that you have some sort of base camp, and you feel safe, and knowing what tonight has in store for you, you’re a little giddy to say the least.

Lori and Carol spot your rosy cheeks in an instant.

“You make up? That was fast!” Lori teases you as she hands you a knife to start cutting fruit.

“I don’t kiss and tell,” you tease.

“Those pink cheeks tell it all!” Carol laughs.

You smile, “he feels well enough to move to the tent, so we can have some privacy finally.”

More laughs are shared, and you enjoy cooking with them. Carol makes a pie for dessert and smelling all the ingredients makes you think of cooking with Shane.

Because he had to rely on himself growing up, he became a pretty decent cook. He followed directions well and perfected a few things he really enjoyed. The first time he brought you home he cooked you a meal.

You cooked together a lot, or you’d alternate who cooked dinner.

Sometimes when Shane had a really heavy day, he liked to cook to keep his mind occupied. On the same token though, he sometimes wanted the comfort of your cooking when he couldn’t think straight. Since you only worked Tuesdays and Thursdays, it was no trouble for you to cook or just order a pizza or takeout on those nights.

Shane has a big heart, and he got pretty good at not taking work home with him. But after he married you, and seeing the horrible things people did, it took a toll on him he’d never thought about. Usually he was livin’ the single life or dating some chick and he wasn’t fazed. But now that he had a woman to go back home to, it changed his perspective.

He’d had a really bad night one night, and he came home carrying the weight. You could see it in his eyes the moment he walked in the door.

He said hello, but immediately went to take a shower to ease his mind. You knew because of how little he spoke, that work had been rough for him today.

You picked up the phone and ordered a pizza, and turned on the oven to preheat it.

The pizza arrived right as you heard the water in the bathroom shut off. You paid for the pizza, and put the pie you’d been making in the oven. You’d already been prepared to make the pie before Shane even got home. This would make him happy, you thought.

You smile remembering how much he enjoyed the pie, the fact that you wanted to make it to cheer him up. He hummed ‘Cherry Pie’ the rest of the night, and you wondered if he remembered that was the song playing in his car, the one and only time you rode in it back in high school.

You made love to Shane that night, kissed his body all over to pleasure him til he was relaxed. He returned the favor the next morning when you woke feeling him kissing on your stomach and thighs.

“Y/n? You with us?” Lori teases.

You flush, you’re really ready to have some time with Shane tonight in the tent.

Once the cooking is all finished, everyone gathers around the two tables to eat. Shane and Daryl are the only ones not there, both are recovering still. Daryl from just being grazed by a bullet and the arrow stabbed in his side.

Glenn asks if anyone knows how to play guitar, and when Hershel says “Otis did” you feel a wave of hurt wash over you. Otis died to save your husband’s life. One woman’s husband died for the sake of yours. Out of the corner of your eye you see Rick’s eyes look away, and you wonder what happened out there. You’ll be forever grateful because your husband is alive, and you know it’s with great cost.

You eat quickly, and take a plate of food to Shane. You stay and eat with him, and get him ready to go outside. His side aches and is bruised. You have to help him pull on a button up shirt, raising his arms for a t-shirt is too much.

Shane holds your hand as he walks outside. You don’t know if he needs physical support or emotional support by holding your hand, but no matter what you love it. His big hand surrounding yours is always a comfort.

The moment you’re inside the walls of the tent, Shane is on you. His fingers reach for the button on your jeans, but you stop him.

“Lay down,” you tell him. “Don’t overdo it Shane.”

“But I thought you-“

“Shane,” you smile, “didn’t say we weren’t doin’ anything, I just said ‘lay down’.”

He does as you ask with a huge grin on his face. Careful of his stitches, you help him undress. You undress yourself and climb ontop of him. You move your hips once, and he groans in pain.

Embarrassed and worried, you climb off.

“Wait, darlin, wait. I wanna take care of ya, don’t-“ he tries to sit up but you know it hurts. Hershel has been trying to wean him off pain meds. Shane’s side is still dark with bruising from the initial shot and from the internal bleeding. His skin is sensitive from the stitches.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this,” you blush embarrassed and reach for your clothes.

“No, c’mon, let me love on my wife,” he nods his head and you blush deep red knowing what he means.

When you wake up in the morning, your thighs burn from the scrape his stubble left behind.

Shane still has soreness on his side, but not enough to get him up and moving. Today is gun training day.

“You don’t have to do that ya know,” Shane smiles as you’re getting dressed. You are buttoning up his shirt.

“But I want to. You’re still sore.” You can see the bandage still covering his wound, as you button his shirt past it.

“My hands work just fine darlin, you got a taste of that last night,” he purrs into your neck, “or I guess I’m the one who got a taste of you.”

You hear Rick call for Shane outside the tent, and Shane groans into your neck.

“Every damn time,” he chuckles and puts on his cap.

You try to make your blush go away as you follow Shane outside.

The group gets supplies together and everyone piles into cars to drive to the ‘shooting range.’ You climb in Shane’s truck, and you’re happy to see he’s up and around. He seems back to his usual self. He puts his hand on your knee as he drives, and finally you feel like things are the way they should be.

Pride fills your heart as you watch Shane instructing people on guns. You heard Rick say Shane is the best instructor he knows. It only fuels you pride in your husband, but also reaffirms how safe you are in Shane’s care.

He goes around helping everyone, but he comes over to you last, so he can spend the longest with you. You try not to let the reason you’re gun training get into your head.

“Focus girl come on,” Shane whispers. You’re pointing the small handgun at the target but your hands are shaking.

Shane puts his hand on the small of your back, and calmly instructs you. Gunfire and cheerful chatter is filling your ears, but Shane’s voice breaks through. You focus on his voice and squeeze the trigger.

“Atta girl,” he encourages. “Again. You can do it.”

You fire again and smash a bottle to bits. You turn and smile at Shane, and he returns the smile. You can tell he’s proud, and glad you’re on the road to better defending yourself.

Both of you know, that these are just still targets. You know shooting a walker is going to be totally different, but it’s a start.

Shane gives you more advice and moves around the group some more. As the firing begins to wind down, Shane wants to take you out and give you more one on one lessons.

“We can look for Sophia some more, you ok with that?”

“Shane I just learned how to shoot, I don’t know if I’m ready to.”

“I’ll cover you, I promise. Will you at least try? I’ll be right there with you.”

You know he’s right. You’re lucky you even got practice. You imagine some people haven’t been so lucky. It terrifies you, but you’ll have to shoot walkers eventually.

You sigh and nod.

“Yeah?”

“It scares me,” you whisper.

“I know,” he whispers and rubs your back.

You get into the truck and Shane drives to a small neighborhood where Sophia might have stopped.

It excites you to watch Shane’s cop instincts as you maneuver from house to house. You’re skittish at first, but watching him move so calmly puts you at ease. You figure out the balance and when a walker approaches, you see him spring into action.

You both go outside, and you stay behind him as several walkers approach. You fire at a couple, but don’t knock them down. Shane gets them, and though he doesn’t say a word of anger, you feel embarrassed. You try again, but to no avail, and you feel sick with panic watching the walkers close in.

Shane tells you to go towards the truck, and he walks backwards to it as well.

He missteps on the curb and falls backwards.

A walker reaches for him and you scream from the other side of the truck.

Without thinking you aim your gun and pull the trigger, killing the walker. Shane hops up and gets in the truck, and you do too.

Panting, you both sit still for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“Sorry for what? You saved my life!”

“Sorry I didn’t get those other ones.”

“So? I got ‘em, Nothin’ to worry about. Be proud of yourself, first walker kill saved my ass.” He smiles with pride.

“It doesn’t bother you that because I screwed up you almost got bit?”

“I pushed for you to come out here, and you saved my life. That’s how I see it.”

He starts the truck and starts to drive back towards the farm.

“I didn’t feel pushed by you Shane. It’s this world we live in.”

He nods, he knows.

A feeling of confidence comes over you. You saved your husband’s life! You don’t dare think of the alternative.

“Shane stop the car.”

“What is it?” he slams on the breaks and his eyes scan the road for walkers.

He looks down when he sees your hands fumbling to unbuckle his belt.

“Little adrenaline spike there huh darlin?” he smirks, but aggressively pulls you into his lap.

“Shut up and kiss me Shane,” you moan.

“Yes ma’am,” he growls as you both sloppily kiss and try to undress each other.

After you both reach your highs, you stay in Shane’s lap. You rest your head on his shoulder.

“Damn,” is all he can say. “I need to take you out shootin’ more often.” He teases.

You move to bury your face in his neck, you press some kisses there, but you stop when you feel tears well up in your eyes.

“I almost lost you for the second time this week,” you whisper.

“But you didn’t,” he replies with a kiss to your forehead. “You’ve taken such good care of me this week. Watchin’ over my bedside, hell savin’ my life from a walker. I’m still here because of you darlin. And I ain’t going anywhere.”

You sniff.

“Hey, look at me.”

He cradles your face to make you look at him.

“Ya hearin’ me?”

You nod and smile.

“Good,” he says with a kiss. “Now let’s go back to the farm. Maybe they had more luck finding Sophia then we did.”


	11. Locks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder~ these are in an order so make sure you're caught up on the previous chapters!!

Waking up next to Shane in the mornings makes you forget where you are. For just a brief second, you’re back at your little house. His alarm is about to go off and he’ll get ready for work. Your stomach rumbles and you think about what you’d like to have for breakfast that morning and what errands you need to run that day.

But then you feel sweat on your brow from no AC and it all comes back.

Shane’s sitting up on the mattress, he’s just pulled his brown t-shirt over his head. You reach for him and place your hand on his back as you sit up. You stretch and flop back down on the mattress with a groan. Shane chuckles and reaches for his pants. He grabs one of your shirts and throws it on you, and you groan again.

“Nuh uh.”

“Somethin’ wear you out yesterday?” Shane asks with a smile. He stands to pull up his pants and buckle his belt.

“More like someone,” you smile back as you stand up to get dressed.

“Mmm pretty sure you started it. It was you grabbin’ at me yesterday darlin,” Shane hums as he pulls you in for a good morning kiss.

“Pretty sure I was talking about saving your life yesterday by killing my first walker,” you say proudly, busting his chops a little.

“So proud of you girl,” he smiles. You both agreed to not talk about how he almost died, and talk about the progress you’ve made instead. “But come on you mean I didn’t wear ya out even just a little?” He ducks his head to get you to look at him. Shit eating grin all over his face.

“Little cocky there Walsh,” you tease and reach for your glasses.

“Oh so that’s how it’s gonna be huh?” he teases back. “Huh?” he says through gritted teeth and reaches out to tickle you stomach.

“Shane!! I need to get my shoes on!” you squeal.

He pulls you in for a hug and presses a kiss to your hair. You don’t want to step out of this tent. Something new and horrible awaits you every time you step out.

Shane hands you your shoes, and you tug them on while he laces up his boots.

“You ready?” he asks, and you nod.

He bends over to loosen one of the knots on his boots and you playfully pat his butt.

“So that’s what kinda day this is gonna be isn’t it?” he grins and squeezes your butt as you step out of the tent. You squeal again and swat his hand away. “Just remember you started this,” he whispers.

You flush, but the excitement you feel fades when you join the circle for breakfast.

It’s a “normal” morning, everyone is doing well as to be expected. Sophia is still gone, and you’re all still eating eggs for breakfast. You know it’s unfair to complain about something as simple as eggs but gosh you’re tired of them. And seeing an empty spot where Sophia should be - is just another painful reminder.

You and Shane grab your plates and you nonchalantly sit in Shane’s lap. He’s not fazed in the slightest, and eats over your shoulder.

“What are you doin’ girl huh? Tryin’ to get me wound up or somethin’?” he asks mumbling into your hair. It’s not like he’s shocked. This isn’t the first time you’ve sat in his lap. But after the teasing this morning, you figure Shane is gonna play dirty, so you might as well play dirty too.

You giggle and don’t answer, you continue eating and listen to the light chatter among the group. The chatter is disrupted when Glenn stands and starts to speak.

One simple sentence.

“There’s walkers in the barn.”

Your fork clatters on your plate and you feel Shane tense up.

Everyone gets up and moves towards the barn. Shane peers in through the cracks and sees movement from the walkers inside.

“You can’t tell me you agree with this, man,” Shane says to Rick. “Especially now that we can’t have guns.”

While Shane was recovering, Hershel requested no guns on the premises, unless necessary. Shane was not happy with this decision, but he was on the mend anyway and not using his guns. But now that he’s well, he’s itching for one.

You know it’s because he wants to keep you safe. And rightfully so, you want him to have a gun to keep you safe if that’s what it takes.

“We either need to clear this barn out, or we need to go,” Shane announces.

“Not without Sophia!” Carol interjects.

Shane’s been out of the loop, he hasn’t seen the progress that’s been made and the clues that have been found. Sure you told him all of it, but he hasn’t seen the morale that has been boosted because of the doll and the other leads found.

You felt it and you know Shane did too. The leadership role shifted from Shane to Rick. But especially after Shane had been shot, Rick is in charge. So far Shane hasn’t had a problem. If you are safe he’s happy. But knowing now there are walkers in the barn and the group has no guns?

“How can we search for her if we can’t even keep ourselves safe Rick?” Shane asks. “Puttin’ ourselves in danger without a way to protect ourselves? We ain’t any good for that girl. And if those walkers get out??” Shane lets out a breath, “man we’re in deep shit. Our camp is right there! Where we sleep! Your family is sleeping right over there Rick! My wife? All of us, RIGHT THERE!” He points towards the camp, and you hear the walkers groaning inside the barn. “You gotta talk to Hershel. I’m not gonna stay here and have my wife-” he points to his chest, then to you “be in danger because I can’t keep her safe.”

Shane’s always made you feel safe, and you love him even more that he cares so deeply. You watch him as the group disperses back to camp, but Shane stays behind at the barn to check all the locks and chains.

It’s what he’s always done.

At home – before – he would check the locks and turn off all the lights at night. You remember finding it so cute, especially when you first got married. Then it just became something Shane did and you didn’t think much of it.

But you’ll never forget the first night home in Shane’s house, which was now officially your house, when he checked the locks. It was your first night home after the honeymoon. Your first night in the house as a married couple.

You were in an exhausted state of bliss lying on the bed. It was your first night in Shane’s bed as a married couple, it was important to break it in.

Multiple times.

You’re grinning, but you feel sleep calling your name. You’re lying on your back, you still haven’t moved. Shane’s on his side, his arm draped over your stomach. He’s kissing your shoulder over and over.

“Almost forgot,” he mumbles to himself as he sits up.

“Forgot what?” you ask intrigued. Maybe he has a surprise.

“Down girl,” he laughs. “Just gonna double check the door is locked. I was a little preoccupied when we walked in the door.”

You smile because of tradition, Shane had carried you inside once when you first arrived home.

He gets up and you admire his bare ass in the dimly lit room as he goes to check the front door. You snuggle under the covers while you wait for him, and you feel a sense of relief and safety wash over you. For the first time you feel like his wife. Officially. You’d only been married a week but you had been on your honeymoon. Hotel doors lock automatically. But this? This is the first time as your husband, he did something to make sure your safety was ensured. For the longest time this has been “your boyfriend Shane’s house” but now it’s your house that you share. It’s like you’re a new guest, but also a familiar one. But you’ve never been his wife in this house.

He comes back and slides under the covers, pulling you into his arms. His legs tangle with yours and his chest presses against your skin. 

The doors are safely locked, and you’re secured safely in your husband’s arms.

That was just day one of your marriage.

You’ve been married a little over a year now, and while the situation has changed drastically, he’s still checking locks. Except this time it’s to keep something in, instead of keeping someone out of your home.

“This day started out so promising,” you sigh as you come up behind Shane.

He’s leaning against a tractor nearby watching the barn.

“I’d feel better if we cleared out this thing.”

“I know Shane. But Hershel sees them as people. It hurts, because they used to be. But he just won’t see it.”

“Well we can’t just let these things come into our camp. I can’t run that risk. You sayin’ you ok with walkers nearby?”

“No! But you have to look at both sides. Hershel’s wife is in there. He thinks there’s a chance she could still come back. Would you shoot me if I were a walker?”

“Don’t say that.”

“Shane I’m asking, tell me.”

“You ain’t ever gonna be one of them.”

“Shane.”

He sighs.

“Would you be able to?”

“Damn it! I don’t know!”

“Well think about how Hershel feels! You know that walkers are dangerous. He knows they are dangerous too or else they wouldn’t be in that barn. But Shane!! He doesn’t get it.”

“But you’re still not safe!”

“Maybe not, but there has to be a compromise here. We should try and help him understand.”

“We should consider leavin’. I’m fit to travel.”

“Don’t forget, Sophia is still out there.”

He sighs again, but not at you. Rick is walking towards the barn.

“I’ll give you some space. Think about what I said Shane. And thank you for lookin’ out for me.” You smile.

He pulls you in for a kiss, “you don’t have to thank me for that darlin, that’s my job.”

You kiss him one more time and turn to walk back towards the camp. You stifle a giggle when you feel Shane lightly pat your butt as you walk away.

You head back to the tent to wait for Shane. Not meaning to – you fall asleep.

You wake when you hear the tent unzipping. A heavy sigh from Shane follows as he sits down on the mattress.

“What is it?” you mumble as you sit up.

“Lori’s pregnant.”

“What?!” you gasp.

“That’s why Rick doesn’t want us to leave.”

“What do you think? Your thoughts changed?”

“Baby my job is to keep you safe. Of course I want this group to be safe, course I do. But you are my priority. And right now all I can see is that we can’t have our guns and there are walkers right on our doorstep. Lori bein’ pregnant doesn’t change any of that.”

“Well what did Rick say?”

“Rick went to reason with Hershel. Guess we’ll just see what happens.”

“He seem different to you?”

Shane lays down on his back next to you.

“What do you mean?” he asks and pulls you down on top of him so your head is resting on his chest.

“Well you were out for a lot of this but when Rick came back he was actin’ real strange. And not just because he was worried about you. That guy who shot you on accident? Otis?”

“Yeah?”

“He went with Rick, and he didn’t come back.”

“You sayin Rick killed this guy?”

“No, I’m just saying Rick hasn’t been the same since he got back is all.”

“He’s got a lot on his mind.”

“But Shane, how do we know-“

“Know what?”

“We can trust him?” you wince. “I’m just saying if you’re willing to do whatever it takes to protect me, what do you think he’s willing to do to protect his family? I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that. I’m scared Shane. I just learned to shoot yesterday and now that I know walkers are that close? And we have nothing to keep us safe?”

Nothing makes sense to you anymore. Either option is horrible. Either you clear the barn and have the Greene's upset, or you leave camp which would make Carol upset because Sophia is still out there. All of it makes you feel unsafe. 

Before Shane can answer, Daryl calls for Shane.

You and Shane both jump up and get out of the tent.

Off in the distance, you can see Rick, Hershel, and Jimmy bringing in two walkers.

“What in the hell?” Shane grumbles.

Daryl darts into the RV and grabs the bag of guns. He hands Shane his shotgun. Shane cocks it and walks towards the barn. You sigh, because you know this isn’t going to end well.

Shane turns to you for a moment, and looks you in the eye.

“I heard what you said, but this is just in case.”

Rick, Hershel, Jimmy, and the two walkers make it to the barn before the group arrives. Jimmy has the key to the padlocks, but he makes a mistake.

He unlocks the bottom padlock first. He removes the chains, leaving the plank of wood barring the door and one lone padlock.

With all the commotion outside, the walkers push on the door, snapping the rotted wood in half.

Walkers begin to pour out of the barn, and the group has no choice but to open fire.

“Get behind me,” Shane turns to tell you. As if he needs ask. You’re already using his broad shoulders as your shield of refuge.

You cover your ears as the sound of gunfire is overwhelming. Even with your ears plugged, you can hear the women among you crying. Even you get tears in your eyes as you see Maggie and Beth see their family get shot.

You peer over Shane’s shoulder when the gunfire stops.

An eerie stillness falls over the group.

Then the sound of one walker growling can be heard.

You clutch the fabric of Shane’s shirt, and press your face against his shoulder blade when you see the walker is Sophia.

Carol’s cries echo and you jump violently when you hear one gunshot to put down Sophia.

Shane feels you jump, and turns to collect you in his arms. You hug him tight and he shushes you gently while rubbing your back.

Through your tears you see all the grief and sorrow on everyone’s faces. Carol stands up and leaves – the emotions too much for her. Beth runs towards her dead mother’s body. Everyone else is either standing or sitting in shock or clinging to another person for support..

When Beth’s mother Annette reaches for Beth, Rick and Glenn have to pull her from her walker mother’s arms. And for the second time that day you felt Shane’s body tense against you. He squeezes you a little tighter and you know that the hug is for his own comfort too.

The group walks Hershel and his distraught family back to their house.

“Was that the right thing to do?” you whisper to Shane.

“That was an accident, but I won’t lie to ya, I’d probably have opened those doors sooner or later to get rid of those walkers.”

“I can’t believe she was in there the whole time. Shane, you got shot looking for her!”

“Did yall know she was in there?” Shane asks.

“Otis put the walkers in the barn,” Hershel replies.

Out of the corner of your eye you see Rick’s face change, but your thoughts are interrupted when Hershel speaks.

“I want you off my land,” Hershel demands.

“That wasn’t our fault! He slipped up!” Shane points at Jimmy. “Y’all should be grateful we were here!”

“Shane,” you touch his arm.

“No, I ain’t sittin’ around anymore cuz of this shit.”

You grab Shane’s arm, and while because he’s stronger than you, his arm doesn’t budge. But it gets his attention.

“What’s going on with you? What’s done is done.”

The Greene family goes inside the house, and Rick follows to plead their case. Leaving you and Shane outside.

“You know what’s wrong y/n? What if it’s you who is pregnant? Earlier today when I said Lori being pregnant didn’t change anything? It still doesn’t. She’s not mine to protect. You are. Shit what if you were carrying our baby?” his hand rests on your belly.

“Shane I’m not pregnant. And I know you want to protect me, and I want you to. But i'm getting experienced with guns. And I want to stay here like everyone else. We just need to focus on where to go from here. Yeah?”

Shane takes a deep breath and nods his head ‘yes.’

“We should probably get those bodies taken care of,” he says.

“Lead the way.”

You ride shotgun in Shane’s pick up while the walkers are taken outside of camp to be burned.

“Shane I don’t know how I feel about fulfilling my high school fantasy knowing a bunch of walkers are in your truck bed.”

“We’ll put a blanket down, don’t worry,” Shane grins.

“Gross,” you laugh.

A fleeting thought crosses your mind if you’ll ever get around to that. Is it even safe to be so exposed, in every sense of the word? But your worry over fulfilling a silly high school sexual fantasy is small.

Especially compared to the loss those in the group experienced today. There is a small service for those lost who were family, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to these.

And it continues to get hotter outside. You go over to the water pump by the wells to get some water to cool off.

Shane was talking to Rick again, and he wasn’t too far behind you.

You take off your glasses and splash water on your face and the back of your neck. You hear the grass rustle and putting your glasses back on you see Shane walking up. He doesn’t look happy.

“What now?”

“Rick.”

“What happened?”

“He’s goin’ into town to get Hershel. He says he owes it to them to go get Hershel after what happened.”

“But it was an accident? Do you think he means something else?”

A louder rustling in the bushes startles you both. You look to the tree line and see Carol walk out of the bushes.

“Carol?” Shane calls to her. She looks like she’s in a daze. Shane guides her over to the water pump, and you pump the water so Shane can clean off her hands.

“I’m so sorry about what happened Carol,” you offer your words of sympathy.

“We both are,” Shane says. She only nods at you both and as quickly as she sat down, she got back up and left.

“You think she’ll be alright?” you ask as you watch her walk away.

“She’s stronger than she thinks. You’re stronger than you think you know that right?”

You reach for his hand and you intertwine your fingers with his as you walk back towards the camp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope yall like this one!! This is simply my take on a way to write the barn scene. Hope it doesn't disappoint!


	12. Tattoo

Rick, Glenn, and Hershel are still gone when you and Shane make it up to the house. It’s nightfall and everyone is gathering around the table to eat.

Carl is worried about his dad, and Shane spots it. With Rick gone, Shane tries to keep everyone’s spirits up.

“Don’t worry Carl, your dad is the toughest son of a b-“

“No swearing in the house,” Patricia scolds him and you can’t help but stifle a snicker.

“You kiss your wife with that mouth?” Dale teases.

“Every day,” Shane grins and leans over to kiss you. Your hand instinctively reaches up to touch his cheek, and his stubble is only getting thicker.

“Lori! Dinner!” Carol calls.

“She’s not in there,” Maggie replies.

“Carl when was the last time you saw your mom?” Shane asks, leaning his elbows on the table.

Everyone gets up and a commotion starts as everyone wonders where Lori went.

“Someone needs to go after her!” Andrea says. “Shane?”

Shane knows since Rick is gone that means he’s ‘next in command.’ He gives you a sorrowful look.

“I’m coming with,” you tell him.

He doesn’t argue, because he knows you feel safest at his side, even when you’re out away from the camp. Besides she couldn’t have gotten far.

You get into the truck, while Shane grabs something from your tent.

“What’s that?” you ask when he sets down the bundle between the seats.

It’s a blanket wrapped around a flashlight.

“Flashlight,” he answers sarcastically, teasing you a bit. He hands you his shotgun and another handgun.

“Why do you have a blanket?”

He smirks as he starts the truck and begins to drive.

“Somethin’ about a high school fantasy?”

“Shane!” you flush, “we have to look for Lori!”

“We are. Gonna get her home safe, then you and I will go for a late night drive. Sound good?”

“Shane!” you gasp as you see a car turned over on the street.

Shane stops the truck abruptly, and you hand him his shotgun and the flashlight. He gets out of the truck and scans the area. You stay inside and keep watch.

He spots a couple dead walkers and turns to you with a shrug. He doesn’t see Lori. Neither do you.

A thud on your window causes you to jump. You turn to see Lori knocking on your window.

“Sorry!” Lori whispers.

Shane sees the movement, and comes over to check on her. He looks at her face with the flashlight. She’s got blood on her head.

“Gotta get you back,” Shane says as he opens the door to the back seat for her.

“We have to go get Rick, he should’ve been back by now!” Lori says, she doesn’t want to get inside.

“Carl is worried sick, you have to go back for him!” you tell her.

“The more people that go out lookin’ just means more people at risk, you know that,” Shane says. His voice is firm.

Lori agrees, and gets into the truck. The drive back home is quiet, and awkward. It’s only ever been you and Shane in his truck. And you know the second you get back to the camp Shane is gonna lay you out in the bed of said truck.

You’re glad Lori is safe, and the baby too. You and Shane make sure she’s safe inside the house. Dale and Andrea sit with her and Carl as everyone waits for the men to get back. The rest of the group are sitting in the camp around the campfire.

Shane takes your hand as you leave the house and you giggle like school kids.

“They’re gonna hear you drive the truck off Shane!”

“Nah I parked it in a different spot, gives me an excuse to move it,” he whispers into your neck. His hands are already unzipping your jeans and you’ve not even gotten inside the truck.

You giggle as he starts up the truck and moves it as fast as he can to where the other cars are parked. You both climb out and Shane is quick to lay down the big blanket in the truck bed.

Clothes are shed quickly and in moments you’re on your back in the bed of the truck.

“Are you sure this is safe?” you whisper as Shane hovers above you.

“I brought a condom with me,” he smiles.

“No Shane,” you laugh. “I mean we’re naked out here. We’re exposed. What if someone or something-”

“Sh sh sh sh,” he whispers and begins to move on top of you.

You bite his shoulder to keep from making noise when Shane brings you to release.

You let out a soft gasp when Shane collapses on top of you.

“See? Nothin’ bad happened, only somethin’ good,” he purrs. “We’ll have to do this more often when we get on the road.” He says as he rolls off you.

“What?” you sit up.

You look down at Shane, an arm is tucked under his head. His other hand is on your hip.

“What?” he replies, smoothing his hand along your skin.

“On the road?”

“Yeah?” his eyebrows crease.

“Are we leaving?”

“Depends on how things go with Hershel and Rick. We’ll know when they get back.”

“But you said ‘when.’ ‘When we’re on the road.’”

“We ain’t stayin’ here forever. It’s not safe.”

“It’s not safe? What was that a minute ago?? I asked if we were safe! Is that what this was for? Butter me up? Make love to me so it’ll ease the blow when you tell me we’re leaving? You knew. You knew this was a dream I had. To make love with my husband under the stars in your truck. My romantic dream some kind of joke to you?”

“Whoa whoa whoa darlin, you need to take a breath here. I know you’re scared. I don’t mean we’re leavin’ anytime soon. We are safe here, for now. But we could be in a safer place. I’m tryin’ to think realistically here. Farm ain’t gonna keep us safe forever. Besides it’ll start getting chilly soon and we need better shelter than some shabby tents.”

Shane sits up and rests his palm on your cheek.

“Look at me girl, c’mon.”

You look in his eyes and see his sincerity.

“I don’t think your romantic dreams are silly. Hell you know this is half the reason I wanted to keep this truck don’tcha? So I could make love to my wife in it?” he smiles and your heart melts.

“I’m sorry I killed the moment,” you blush in embarrassment.

“Nah,” he says and pulls you back down to hold you, “got my naked wife in my arms, can’t kill that mood.”

“You’re such a pig!” you laugh but you cuddle deeper into his embrace.

“That was my weak attempt at bein’ romantic,” he laughs.

You roll your eyes but you kiss him. Shane wouldn’t be Shane without the occasional dirty joke.

“This is beautiful,” he says looking up. “Beautiful stars and my beautiful wife.”

“That’s better,” you smile and press a kiss to his cheek. Your hand smooths along his skin and you faintly see his tattoo in the dark.

You trace the tattoo with your finger. Even though your glasses are off, and it’s dark out, you don’t need to see it to trace it. You’ve traced it a thousand times. You smile when goosebumps appear on Shane’s skin.

“Tickles.”

“You say that every time!”

“Well it tickles every time!”

“Tell me the story again Shane.”

“Again?”

“Humor me!”

“You know the story. I was drunk off my ass after my college girlfriend dumped me. Thought it was a good idea to get a tattoo that represented you.”

“I think it’s sweet.”

He laughs an embarrassed laugh, “it’s so cheesy. If I was sober and got a tattoo for you that would not have been it.”

“Tell me the reason why you got it.”

Shane’s been looking up at the sky as he spoke, but he grins and looks at you.

“Because, you were a little bird that fluttered out of my life. Didn’t know I’d get the for you to come back.”

You smile happily and lean up to kiss his lips.

“Such a bad decision though. Don’t get drunk then go get a tattoo.”

“Shane do you see any tattoo artists around here? Or even any alcohol?”

“Smartass,” he smiles and kisses you again.

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t ever look for me after she broke up with you. Surprised you didn’t.”

“Darlin you know why. I got hurt in football and my life was a wreck. Joining the academy was what pulled me out. I would not have been good for you.”

A rustle in the bushes startles you both.

Shane reaches for his flashlight and shines it in the bushes, while you frantically reach for your shirt and pants.

You see the wings of a bird flap as it flies out of the bushes.

“Looks like an owl got somethin’,” Shane says and clicks off the flashlight. “We should get back.”

“Shane can I see the flashlight?” you ask as you reach for your glasses.

He clicks it on and hands it to you while he pulls on his pants.

You shriek and drop the flashlight with a clatter.

“What?” he reaches for his shotgun he had with him in the truck.

“There’s a spider!” You pick up the flashlight and point it on your pile of clothes and the spider is on your bra. “I am not putting that on.”

You see Shane’s lips curl into a smirk.

“Don’t say a word, just kill that spider.”

He flicks it off and squashes it with the butt of his gun.

“What’s my reward?”

You grab your shirt and pull it over your head.

“The satisfaction of knowing you saved your wife from getting eaten by a spider.”

Shane smiles devilishly, “that’s not the thing in the back of this truck you should worry about eatin’ ya.” He growls and leans in to kiss your neck. His digs in his teeth and gives you a good love bite.

He presses a quick kiss to your cheek, then pulls away to let you finish getting dressed.

You head back to the camp, and see most people are still up and around even though it’s late. People are waiting for Rick, Glenn, and Hershel.

There’s a low fire glowing in the center of the campsite and a few people are sitting around it.

“You gonna wait up?” you ask Shane sleepily.

“Might for a bit, you go ahead and go to bed.” He kisses your temple.

You get in the tent and the moment you lay down you fall asleep. It has been such a long day and the stress caught up with you.

Shane came in a few hours later. He woke you on accident when he came in. You’ve learned to sleep with one eye open so it’s not his fault.

“Sorry darlin, ‘s just me go back to sleep,” he whispers as he zips the tent back up. You hear him take off his boots and his pants. It’s not long before he’s on the mattress with a heavy sigh. His arm flops over you and you scoot closer to him and fall back asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is shorter because it's more of a transition chapter~ the drama is coming soon!!!


	13. Separate

Doing laundry is the last thing you want to be doing right now. Your only consolation is that it’s keeping you busy while you worry about Shane.

Rick and Shane have gone scouting. And they aren’t close either. Shane said they’d be going about 18 miles out or so.

What they’re scouting for – you don’t know. Shane didn’t seem to know either.

Rick, Hershel, and Glenn all came back safe from town. Rick seemed more off than usual. But it was quiet for the next couple of days. Beth was awake, and recovering from her state of shock.

Shane and Rick left this morning, and it never gets any easier for you. Shane can take care of himself, that’s not what concerns you.

Rick has been acting so strange lately it worries you that Shane is out there with him. You’ve counted on Rick for years to watch your husband’s back as his partner on the force. But now in this world that partnership dynamic has changed.

Shane became the leader of the group in the beginning because people naturally looked to him. The role shifted when Rick came back. Shane’s concern is keeping you safe, and he can keep you safe without leading. But you can tell he’s questioning some of Rick’s judgement calls. Is Rick just looking out for his family? Or does he have the needs of the group in mind?

Shane accomplished both quite well at the quarry. If the group is safe, then that means you are too. Of course he cares more for your emotional wellbeing, but that’s his duty as a husband anyway.

All these thoughts of worry run through your mind while Carol hang up the clothes, and you fold the dry clothes.

You’ve just eaten supper and the sun is getting low. A slight chill runs up your spin. The weather is starting to get cool. Maybe that’s why they are out scouting. Looking for somewhere warm to stay in the colder months?

As you separate the clothes and fold them you find a long-sleeved shirt of Shane’s and put it on. Carol smiles, and nods “we’re going to need better winter clothes.”

“I have a coat and a jacket, but what I wouldn’t give for a sweatshirt right now. I used to steal all of Shane’s police sweatshirts. Especially when he was gone.”

It’s strange to think that a few months ago the worst thing ever was when Shane was gone overnight for a police convention. Or if he had a late shift at work. Those lonely nights you’d curl up in one of his shirts or sweatshirts as you slept. You could smell his cologne on his shirts and it gave you a sense of comfort while he was gone.

Now he and Rick are gone, but this is so much worse than one lonely night of Shane being at a convention. Then Shane would call you at night, and text you throughout the day telling you how bored he was and how much he missed you. Now Shane is gone and he doesn’t even know where they are going. You’re wearing one of his shirts, but there’s no scent of cologne on it. Only comfort you have is knowing the shirt is his.

There’s so many dangers out there now. Shane’s job was dangerous before, but he had his partner to back him up.

Now you’re not so sure he even has Rick to rely on. You hate yourself for thinking it, but you can’t help but worry something is off about Rick. He worries you.

When Shane was the leader you knew he had a burden on his shoulders. He was trying to balance caring for you and the group. When Rick came back, the load shifted and you saw the relief Shane had.

But now that stress is coming back. Instead of being a partnership like you and Shane had hoped, Rick is in charge. And for awhile it wasn’t a bad thing. He’s a good man and you love him dearly.

But that doesn’t mean loved ones can’t worry you.

He was different after Otis. He was different after he and Glenn went to town to get Hershel. You heard Glenn say something about how they had to leave someone behind.

In your eyes, Rick isn’t consistent, and that’s what scares you. If these two lives Rick ‘left behind’ is something he is willing to do will he do it again?

The sound of a car driving in tears you from your thoughts.

In moments Rick and Shane are walking back to camp. You feel the color drain from your face when you see blood on Shane’s face.

“I’m sorry Carol,” you apologize, “I’ve got to check on him.”

“Go,” she nods. “Your husband is more important than some clothes not getting folded right away.”

You run up to him and feel sick when you see him.

“What happened?” you touch his cheek lightly and look at the blood on his face. His eye is swollen, his lip is split, and his cheekbone has a nasty bruise.

He nods towards the tent, “tell ya in there.” You step inside and he’s not far behind. He zips the tent behind him, and you see him wince when he does.

“Shane what happened? You’re hurt!” you see blood seeping through his shirt on his back. Panic hits you.

With a heavy sigh Shane gets the small first aid kit you’d packed in the backpack.

“Did you get bitten?”

“No. Did get in a fight though.”

“With Rick?”

Shane nods.

Carefully, Shane began to peel off his shirt and you see the cut on his shoulder.

“Shane that needs stitches. You need Patricia.”

“I want you to try,” he says gently and hands you the needle.

“Do you trust me to do that?”

“You might need to know how to do this darlin. Much as I hate to say it. And I don’t mind bein’ the guinea pig. Hurts like hell already anyway.”

Shane sits down on the mattress, and you sit behind him. You’re up on your knees looking at this cut. You clean it and rest your hand on his shoulder for support.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Just try. All I ask.”

You wince louder than he does when you begin to stitch him up. While you work he talks.

Shane and Rick hadn’t been scouting. Rick only told Shane they were scouting for shelter to get Shane to come with him. When all this came out other secrets spilled out too. Shane reveals to you that Rick has been responsible for the loss of more than one life. Otis was just the first. There were three more in the in town.

“When I told him I didn’t think he was fit to lead the group, he swung at me. I told him once he needed to make the tough decisions to keep this group goin’ but I didn’t mean this. We fought, and then-“

“Then?”

“You ain’t gonna like it. Don’t know if I should tell ya.”

“Shane.”

“We got separated, and I thought he left me. Cut my hand to distract the walkers with my blood. Lost my knife. But Rick came back for me.”

“Well how do we know he won’t try and hurt you again? Shane!”

“Did you get a look at him? Gave him a good beatin’ too. That’s not the first time we’ve gotten into a fight. Hell we used to kick the shit out of each other in school.”

“This is different! Our lives are at stake here!”

“One of those fights was about you.”

“What?”

“Yeah, when I was in college. When Rick saw the tattoo I’d gotten for ya. Told me I need to get my head outta my ass and ask you out.”

“And you hit him for that?”

“Yeah,” his cheeks flush a little. “I didn’t think I was worth your time. He thought I was and it hit a nerve and so I hit him.”

“Well Rick was right that time. But this time, he’s wrong!”

“Rick an’ I agree that we need to be safe. But we disagree on where we should be. He doesn’t realize that I can lead this group. We are not safe here. I just feel it. I can do it, done it before. But he thinks that when I got shot that I’m a step behind.”

“Does he even realize how hypocritical that sounds? He was shot and presumed dead for weeks! He has no position to say that!”

“I know. I think he just made somethin’ up. He’s hidin’ somethin’ and it’s eatin’ him up. He won’t tell me what it is. He took me out there to tell me, but he couldn’t.”

“Can’t yall work together? Make decisions together?”

“He doesn’t seem to see it that way. I trust this man with my life, but not knowing now that he’s hiding somethin’. ‘specially since we don’t know if this secret is a danger to us. To you. ”

You sigh as you finish the stitches. You have no idea how you did with the stitches, but the bleeding stopped. You look at his bare back and rub his good shoulder gently. “Add that scar to your growing collection.”

“Got this one too,” he says as he shows you the cut on the palm of his hand.

You turn to face him and take his hand in yours. It doesn’t take many stitches to stitch his hand.

“So what now?” you ask as you bandage his hand and shoulder.

“Don’t know. I’m here to keep you safe. Gonna do my best to watch out for the group. And bein’ here ain’t the best option. Rick thinks it’s safe here for Lori and the baby.”

He stands and looks for a clean shirt to put on.

“Oh I forgot to grab our clothes!” You unbutton the shirt of Shane’s you’re wearing and hand it to him. You go outside to the laundry area and Carol smiles as she hands the stacks of yours and Shane’s clothes.

“I’m so sorry!”

“Is he alright?”

“He’s fine,” you smile. Your admiration for Carol grows every day. She had a horrible husband, but she’s always so kind to you and Shane. 

You take the clothes back into the tent.

“I was thinkin’ today how much I miss wearing your sweatshirts when you were gone.”

“Oh yeah?” Shane smiles. “Did I not pack one?”

“No,” you sigh. You double check just to make sure. The coats and jackets were at the bottom of the duffle bag. You put the coat back inside but put on your jacket.

“Damn shame too. You’re so cute in those.”

You lean up to kiss him but you stop when you see his split lip.

“Oh,” you whine and gently touch his bottom lip with your thumb. You press a kiss to the corner of his mouth, avoiding his cut. You feel his stubble under your lips when you kiss him.

A scream startles you both and you pull apart. Shane grabs his shotgun, tucks a handgun in his pants, and you both leave the tent.

A scream in this world is never good.

In situations like these, you choose to stay behind Shane. You nor him know the reason for the scream, but it was loud enough to draw the rest of the group out of their tents. Instead of staying in the camp, you follow Shane. Odds are you are safest next to him than exposed in the camp.

Most of the group follows the sound of the scream into the fields. As the group moves, a gunshot is heard. You clutch Shane’s arm in fear and he readies his shotgun.

When the scene comes into view, it’s terrifying.

Andrea has just shot a walker. And as you get closer, you see Dale on the ground. Blood is everywhere and he is struggling for a breath.

Shane still has his gun aimed at the ready and his eyes scan over the area in the dark.

“Just the one?” he asks Andera as gently as he can. She nods.

“Someone go get Hershel!” Lori hollers.

Shane kneels by Dale’s head and sees the blood and gore all over his body. Shane looks up at Lori and solemnly shakes his head.

Shane takes the pistol out from his pants.

Everyone knows Shane is making the right call. Dale is in agony.

You jump when Shane fires the shot, and you know in this moment Shane will carry this with him the rest of his life.

“We need to see where that walker came from. How’d it get in?” Shane stands. This is how he grieves, he gets to work.

Patricia had brought a sheet to help move Dale, and for the moment, she laid it over him. The priority was finding where the walker came from, so there could be a proper (and safe) burial for Dale.

Rick, Shane, Daryl, T-Dog, Glenn, and Andrea go out to look for any gaps in the fences. You and the rest of the group begin to move things into the house. After tonight, Hershel wants the group to come into the house where it’s safer.

You’re collecting yours and Shane’s things to take inside. You’re zipping up one of the pockets of the backpack when you spot some Chapstick. The stick is completely used up and you have a fleeting thought of how easy before it used to be to get things like this from the store. Now you have to take a gun, a knife, and another person just to keep safe. And if you make it to the store alive, they may not even have what you need.

Smiling you think about that day you saw Shane in the store. You’d not seen him in years. Not since high school. You’d read about him in the paper from time to time, seeing articles about his college football career. And you remember the article about the end of his football career with his knee injury. But that was the last you really saw. You’d heard through the grapevine that he’d become a cop, but you never saw him. Even in the small town you both lived in, your paths never crossed.

Until that one day when you saw him at the store. It was later in the afternoon, and obvious he had just gotten off his shift. He still had his uniform on. You had turned onto an aisle he was on. Shane told you later that you looked like a deer in headlights. He’d been reading something on whatever box of food he had, and he looked up to see you. Your heart and your stomach jumped into your throat.

He said your name and hello warmly but you froze. Quickly without thinking you turned and went down another aisle hoping to lose him. You made your way to the checkout and got out of there as fast as you could.

You cringe at the memory but it’s funny to you now too. You’d never gotten over him and after all those years you didn’t know what to do when you saw him. You’d barely even dated anyone because Shane was always it for you. But none of that matters because you ended up with him anyway.

The only part that upsets you is remembering how you went home and cried out of embarrassment.

You’ve never told that to Shane.

You told him you were embarrassed that you didn’t speak, but not that you cried.

Since then you both have had many good laughs about it since. And you’ve made multiple trips to that same grocery store – together.

You finish zipping up the backpack and lick your lips wishing for Chapstick.

You’re about to take the backpack and Shane’s duffle into the house when you see Carl walk by the tent.

“Have you seen my dad?” Carl asks you when you step out of the tent.

“I thought your dad and Shane went to look for holes in the fences?”

“Everyone else is back. Daryl and Glenn said the found the hole and fixed it. I’m gonna go look for him.”

“Carl wait!”

You feel the hairs stand up on the back of your neck. Maybe there’s another hole, a bigger one. You tell yourself over and over. You follow Carl, you need to stop him but this kid won’t back down.

It doesn’t take you long before you’ve caught up to Carl and you figure you might as well walk with him so he won’t be alone.

“What’s that?” Carl asks.

And you hear it.

Two people are shouting.

You walk with Carl over the edge of the hill just in time to see Rick stab Shane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dun dun dun......
> 
> don't worry this is not the end!! there is TONS more to come. 
> 
> i combined the last few episodes of s2 into one so i hope that wasn't hard to follow! 
> 
> hope yall enjoy~


	14. Til Death Do Us Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They say write what you want and I've been wanting to write what happens in this chapter for a long long time. Hope yall enjoy!

You take inhale sharply when you see Shane. Your heart stops and jumps into your throat and you feel like you can’t breathe.

This is it.

The moment you never thought would happen.

But here you are looking at him and you’re about to take that step forward. Your life will never be the same.

You don’t see anyone else but Shane in front of you. You don’t even see Rick standing next to him. Your eyes are fixed on your husband.

Well, technically, your soon-to-be husband.

It’s your wedding day.

The walk down the aisle seems to take forever but finally you reach him. He beams and takes your hands in his.

“You look beautiful,” he mouths to you.

He looks handsome himself. Black suit and tie. NOT a bowtie. He was adamant about that. Shane had been so easygoing during the entire process of the wedding planning. There were two things he was concerned about, not wearing a bowtie and that you were happy.

As the ceremony went on, your hands were trembling a little and he rubbed your knuckles in comfort. He couldn’t stop smiling at you and your heart was fluttering. His hands were steady when he slid the ring on your finger. But when you slid his ring on his finger his hand trembled slightly under your touch. He was nervous too.

He’d never had this. Never had steady. You knew it and you feel an honor to be his steady.

When he kissed you, he cradled your face in his hands and smiled at you for a moment. Just a for a moment. You saw the twinkle of joy in his eye, but a little hint of mischief too. That’s your Shane.

Shane kissed you fiercely and that’s just how you wanted it. His passion was in it and you felt your head spin.

When the kiss broke you took his arm to walk back down the aisle. He pumped his fist in the air in celebration and you laughed out loud. You don’t remember ever feeling this happy.

But the best feeling was knowing Shane felt the same way. He was downright giddy at the wedding reception. It was like he was buzzed on alcohol but he’d not had more than one glass to drink.

You didn’t have time to even eat or drink much at all. You were taking pictures and talking to all of your friends. Half of the sheriff’s department was there because they couldn’t believe “Walsh was tyin’ the knot,” and they had to see it for themselves.

All of your high school friends were there. All the ones who knew about your love for him. Your friends who’d seen your heartache when he had some new girlfriend. But all your friends had seen the change in Shane. They all knew him too, and they all agreed they’d never seen him this happy.

Shane held you close when you danced and you were glad to finally have a private moment with him. Of course all the eyes were on you, but it was special. You chatted comfortably, but you still couldn’t help but blush under his gaze.

His hand is resting on the small of your back, and being pressed to close to his body has you aware of what’s to occur later.

The wedding night.

Your blush darkens and you tremble a little in his arms. His eyebrows crease seeing your face change.

“What’s wrong?”

The song ends and you shush him with a sweet kiss.

It’s not exactly a secret to him. You’ve never had sex. You had two boyfriends in your life other than Shane and you weren’t with them long enough. But you didn’t want them anyway. You wanted Shane.

But then when you started dating Shane, he wanted things to be different. All of his past relationships either started with sex or were just sexual relationships. Not to say he didn’t want you, because damn he wanted you bad. And when you expressed your want to wait, he had no problems. He wanted to do right by you. He’d never waited for anyone, and he figured you were worth it. That was how you knew this was right. There were a couple times where you almost slept with him but your nerves got the better of you, and you both agreed to just wait until you got married.

And here you are on your wedding day, in Shane’s arms and you know, tonight is the night.

“Just a little overwhelmed,” you whisper.

“I got ya darlin,” he smiles and kisses you again.

When you cut the cake, Shane taps a little drop of icing on your nose. He promptly kisses the icing off while the crowd laughs. Getting him back you tap a bit of icing on his lips and the crowd roars with laughter. Shane is so proud and you taste chocolate on his lips when you kiss him.

The teasing continues when Shane pulls the garter from your thigh. His fingers dance along your leg and he grins when he feels the goosebumps. Several of the men hoot and holler teasing Shane, and you swear you see the tips of Shane’s ears get pink. He’s got that smug grin plastered to his face, but there’s a hint of shyness that only you see.

He’s all smiles though when he leads you out to his car. You climb in and he drives you off to begin your new life together.

You never would’ve guessed then that you’d be where you are now - standing on a hilltop watching your husband get stabbed while you worry if walkers are around.

You scream in horror at the sight.

“DAD?!” Carl yells.

You sprint down the hill and run to see Shane collapse on the ground. Carl isn’t far behind, and Rick looks at his hands then up at his son in shock.

“How could you do THIS?!” you scream at Rick and look at Shane. “Can you walk? Is it bad?” you start sobbing frantically. Your hands move on his body to pull up his shirt to look at the wound. It’s not deep, and he’ll definitely live but he has to get this stitched up now.

“My ankle,” he groans. You take off your jacket and press it down on the stab wound and you look to see that he twisted his ankle. When Rick stabbed him, Shane had taken a step back. That step back had saved his life, but he stepped into a hole and turned his ankle causing him to fall.

You help Shane to his feet while keeping pressure on the wound. When Shane is on his feet, you take one look at Rick and slap him across the face with your free hand.

“I thought he was-“

“Thought he was what?” you snap.

“He thought I was a walker,” Shane mumbles.

“And I’m supposed to take him at his word?”

Rick drops the knife and gets on the other side of Shane to help you take him back to the farm.

“Why did he stab you then?”

Rick starts to babble about ‘not knowing what he was doing.’ While he sounds convincing you’re not so sure.

Slowly you get Shane up to the house, and Patricia and Maggie start to get things together to stitch him up. You go outside for just a moment to get another shirt for Shane when suddenly there are walkers all over the farm.

You start to run towards the house, but a stream of walkers blocks your path. Rick had gone to get Hershel to help with Shane, and they were the only people you saw. Hershel pushes you behind him and fires at the walkers. It’s chaos and you feel hot tears stream down your face. Maybe Shane will be safe in the house.

Someone sets the barn on fire, and the walkers walk towards the light, and you hope that’ll be enough distraction to draw them away.

“Y/n come on!” Rick calls for you.

“I’m not leaving Shane!”

“We agreed to meet up at the highway, we need to go,” Rick says. Hershel walks you to the car and you try to fight your way free but you know it’s no use. There’s too many walkers in between you and Shane.

You shake with fear as you sit in the car. Carl rests his hand on your shoulder and you hug him tight.

When Rick stops on the highway, you pratically fall out of the car your legs are shaking so bad. You fall to your knees and sob.

“Y/n, he’ll make it,” Rick offers his encouragement.

You glare up at him and stand up. You start to smack his chest as you sob.

“This is your fault! This is on YOU Rick! You stabbed my HUSBAND!” you scream. Your sobs shake your body and you lean against the car for support. “And you made me leave him! He was hurt and you pulled me away!”

“Look,” Hershel nods, and you see a stream of cars from the farm drive up. Shane’s black truck brings up the rear and you trip over your own feet when you see him step out.

You’re in his arms the second you get to him.

“Ah,” he winces.

“I’m sorry,” you wince back.

“I’m ok,” he smiles and wipes the tears from your eyes. He lifts his shirt and shows you the stitch.

“What happened after?” you ask as the group gets together.

“Patricia and Maggie stitched me up real quick, then we walked outside to see the mess. Maggie and I got out, but we lost Patricia.” He hung his head in guilt.

Patricia, Jimmy, and Andrea were all lost. As well as all your supplies. It was a major blow to everyone.

“So what now?” Carol asks.

Rick starts to speak, but Shane cuts him off.

“Man after what happened last night, you need a break. Somethin’ is botherin’ ya and you need to spit it out. Let me handle this.”

“What happened?” Lori asks, concern all over her face.

“I, uh, Jenner at the CDC told me somethin’. Said we’re all infected. We all have it, whatever it is. I should’ve said somethin’ sooner. I hurt Shane last night because I thought-“ He trails off his sentence and the group is shocked.

“We’re all infected?” you whisper to Shane.

“How can we trust Rick after keeping that from us?” Carol asks aloud. “Shane?” she looks to him, and the rest of the group does too.

Rick nods at Shane, a look of remorse in is Rick’s eyes.

Shane takes a deep breath and sighs out through his nose. “Alright, we need to find somewhere to stay. It’s been a long night and since it’s just now mornin’ we need to get a move on and away from the walkers at the farm,” Shane says.

You feel silly but when Shane says morning it makes you realize, you’d all been awake all night. Everything happened so fast. Adrenaline is what’s keeping everyone awake now.

“Shane?” Hershel speaks, “why don’t you take the lead.”

Shane nods and everyone piles into their cars.

“You probably shouldn’t be driving,” you tell him as you get to his truck. “Let me drive, and put up your ankle on the dash.”

Shane nods and as soon as he gets in the car he slides the passenger seat back as far as it’ll go and props his foot up on the dash.

“I’ll tell ya where to go,” he says.

“Do you know where we’re going?” you smile as you start the car.

“Nope. Just away from here.”


	15. Shiver

A couple months have passed since the farm fell. Rick’s mind is still shaken, but his focus is watching over his pregnant wife. So Shane is still in the lead. And you, you have never felt safer under Shane’s care. You know he’s stressed, you all are. But you also know his comfort is in you and your safety.

Lately Shane’s biggest concern is keeping everyone warm. Keeping up with the time is sort of skewed now, but if you had to guess you’d say it’s probably December. And it’s cold.

The group has collected supplies here and there, but still have had to bounce from shelter to shelter. A couple nights per house is usually the rule. It was Shane’s idea, and the group agreed. Don’t stay anywhere too long unless the security is certain. Houses aren’t fully secure from walkers unless there is a gate.

You’re on the road today, looking for somewhere to stay. Shane is back to driving now. His side and ankle have healed and he’s back to his usual self. You’ve loved watching him grow as a leader. He looks different, and not because he has a beard now. He looks older, more serious. The mischief isn’t gone, the flirt isn’t gone, the tease isn’t gone. But his sturdiness and focus is stronger.

It amazes you how he manages to balance your needs and keeping the group safe. If the group is safe, you are safe. If HE is safe, you are safe.

The only thing really lacking at the moment is there isn’t much privacy to be had. You long for quiet time with him, and not just sleeping near him at night. Actual time with him to just feel him and kiss him and be held by him.

As Shane drives his hand is on your thigh. If Glenn and Maggie weren’t in the backseat you think Shane would’ve slipped his hand in-between your legs while he drove. So he just rubs your thigh up and down gently, and you're happy for the small comfort it brings.

“What’s that?” Glenn points.

He spots a sign for a neighborhood, and Shane turns on his blinker. He honks the horn and those driving behind know to follow.

“Good eye there Glenn,” Shane smiles as he turns.

You gasp as you look out the window, all the houses are NICE houses. Some look untouched. Quickly you see why, there’s a lot of walkers around. Shane smirks as he runs over a couple of the walkers in the street, and he continues down the road to find a clearer, less-walker-filled spot.

“There we go!” Shane cheers as he pulls into the driveway of a large house with a tall gate around it. The rest of the group park in the driveway and on the curb.

Shane, Rick, Carl, T-Dog, and Daryl all grab their weapons and go to clear out the house. In a few minutes when Shane comes back out, Maggie and Glenn go in to move the walker bodies out. That’s your cue, as well as Lori’s, Carol’s, Beth’s, and Hershel’s to get the supplies and go inside.

You can see your breath in the cold winter air as you shoulder your pack. Shane presses a kiss to your head as you walk past him to go inside. Shane and Daryl search the perimeter on the outside one more time then make their way inside to join the rest of the group.

The group explores the house looking for more supplies. There’s 6 bedrooms, a nice living room, and of all things a movie theater room. The downstairs had been raided it seems, but the upstairs is intact. There’s not a lot as far as food, but there is a ton of candy and popcorn kernels in the theater room.

There are 8 or so reclining chairs in the movie room, and you start to set down your pack on one of them.

“Psst,” Shane whispers.

You turn and see him step in the room.

“How cool is this? These chairs would be a great place to sleep!”

“First bedroom on the left is where we are,” Shane tells you.

“We get to sleep in a bed?” you clap your hand over your mouth with a giggle.

The houses you’ve been staying at the past few months have been small. Only reason you stayed in them was because they had a gate. Safety comes before comfort. Since these places were small, that meant not many bedrooms. The bed always goes to Lori since she’s pregnant. If there is a second bed it goes to Hershel much to his disapproval. Everyone has rotated sleeping on couches and floors and different chairs. It’s just been something you’ve all had to grow accustomed to.

But what’s most exciting about a bed, is that means your private time with Shane! You haven’t had time with just him in weeks aside from the occasional sneak out to make out and make love in his truck.

Now it’s getting too cold to be outside – no matter how hot his lovin’ is.

“Finally!” you sigh and pick up your things to take them into the bedroom. “Any food in the house?” you ask as Shane is not far behind you.

“’cept for that candy. We still have that deer Daryl killed yesterday.”

You set your things down and glance around the room. It’s perfect. Butterflies fill your tummy in anticipation for some well needed R&R with Shane later.

And if you know Shane, if there’s a bed in the equation you’ll get loved on it. The man doesn’t need a bed to make love to his wife, but if there if there is a bed? Lovin’ is for certain.

After everyone got settled in, everyone piles into the movie room to eat. Glenn pops some popcorn using a lighter, and everyone eats some of the candy for dessert. For the first time in a long time it’s a happy night. Most days and nights get monotonous. Everyone is tired and there isn’t much change. No one is to blame, but the struggle to find somewhere safe is weighing on Shane.

You sit in Shane’s lap while you munch on your candy. His hands are splayed on your hips and he places kisses on your cheek when you laugh. His beard tickles and you still can’t get used to the feeling.

You turn in Shane’s arms for a moment and see his eyes. He looks so tired.

“You ok?” you whisper so the others don’t hear.

A tiny smile curves on his lips.

“Tired. But ‘m happy to see everyone’s happy tonight. Haven’t had that in awhile.”

Once everyone has eaten the group starts to split to their rooms.

The house is still cold but it could be worse, you think as you walk to your room.

Shane’s doing one more sweep and making sure all the locks are secured. Daryl is downstairs on the couch keeping watch.

While Shane is downstairs, you look around the bedroom. There’s a small bathroom attached and a pretty decent sized closest. You snoop around the closet looking for clothes, then you walk into the bathroom. This room belonged to a man, because the closet was full of men’s clothes. The bathroom has male grooming products like an electric razor and so on. You’d just opened the drawer with the razor when you hear the bedroom door click. You shove the drawer closed and you wince when it slams.

“What you doin’ in here girl?” Shane smiles.

He walks up and opens the drawer you slammed shut. He quirks and eyebrow and your cheeks heat up. “You lookin’ for somethin’ in here? Already got those out.”

He turns and gets a box of condoms out of his duffle that he’d taken from the bathroom. With one smirk from him and a shake of the box you’re on him. He anticipates and doesn’t budge when you leap up into his arms.

The bed is cold but his body is warm and his kisses are hotter.

Part of you wishes for slow lovin’ since it’s been so long, but the other part is reacting to Shane’s touch and you can’t fight that. Both of you are desperate and grabbing at each other. Hands and lips are everywhere and clothes are thrown in multiple directions.

With a groan, you and Shane fall into a heap of limbs on the bed. Your hands go for his biceps as something to hold onto. Your neck burns from the scrape of his beard. It hurts so good.

You giggle when his beard tickles your ear and Shane playfully snarls and nuzzles under your ear in response. You don’t know if it’s because he’s in your arms that he’s relaxing, or what but you haven’t seen Shane be silly in days.

You shiver violently and you don’t know if it’s the chill in the air or how good he makes you feel.

Afterwards Shane is about to climb off and you let out a soft “no.” it was more of a whine, but you couldn’t help it. He’s so warm and you feel so safe wrapped up in his embrace.

A huge grin sweeps across his face.

“What you think I’m goin’ somewhere?” he kisses your lips with a quick peck.

He stands up for a moment, he pulls on his boxers and tosses you his shirt when he sees you shiver.

Shane slips back into the bed and smooths his hands up your legs and your body as he goes. He drapes himself lazily on top of you. He kisses your lips slowly over and over. He trails down to your neck and gently brushes his lips over your pink skin from the beard burn.

You shiver and you feel Shane smirk against your skin.

He sits up to admire you in his shirt. You poke his abs with your foot and laugh. “What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like?” he smiles and runs his hands up your legs again.

“Shane don’t,”

“What?” his hands stay still on your knees.

“My legs are hairy.”

“My face is hairy,” he says as his simple reply and strokes his beard. “’sides it’s not like I ain’t ever seen ya with hairy legs. Remember that time you sprained your wrist? And you wouldn’t let me help you shave?” he laughs.

“We had been married like three weeks! I didn’t want you to see!”

“You didn’t trust me to shave your legs that’s what it was!” he laughs and continues his trail up your legs to your thighs then up to your stomach.

“No I didn’t!” you laugh, “And I like your beard,” you flush a little at the confession. He’s never had a beard as long as you’ve known him. The longest his facial hair has been is a little bit of stubble. But it’s been months since he’s shaved, and the stubble has grown thick on his face. The beard isn’t unruly, it’s still close to his face. But it’s long enough to run your fingers through it and feel the burn of it when his lips are on sensitive skin.

“That why you slammed that drawer shut? Didn’t want me to shave?”

“You having a beard is much more attractive than my hairy legs!” you joke.

“Youuu like the beard!” he smiles, and you don’t think his shit eating grin could get any wider.

“You’re cop skills are slacking officer! You just now noticed?” you’re trying to save yourself but it’s not working.

“Nah. Noticed back at the farm darlin,” he says with a wink.

“So my hairy legs don’t bother you?”

“What’s eatin’ ya?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yeah, you do. What is it?”

“It’s just lately, we’ve been on the road and livin’ day to day. Every day we wonder where we’re going to stay. What we’re going to eat. Showering and shaving and other things have become low on our priority list.”

“And?” he gently urges you on.

“Being in this room…we haven’t been together in a real bed in months. And being in this bed makes me think of home and I-…..I still want to be pretty for you.” You blurt out the last sentence and feel your cheeks burn.

In a few months you and Shane will have been married for 2 years. You’d spent years longing for him and just because you’re married doesn’t mean you don’t want to enjoy all the things that come with it.

Like feeling pretty for your husband.

Yes you’ve found a level of comfortableness. It didn’t take you long either. Shane is extremely comfortable in his skin and it’s contagious. His confidence in you gave you more confidence. And you know you’re probably being silly because of course he’s seen your hairy legs. He’s seen you puke, and he held your hair from your face while you did it. He’s made you pee your pants from laughter. He’s been at your side during periods, and when you were so sick there were more used tissues on the bed than blankets. All the ‘gross’ things he’s seen, and he’s not afraid of some hair on your body. Your body is yours and he worships it.

And every woman has her insecurities. You have yours and those crossed your mind that first time Shane worshiped your body.

After the wedding reception, Shane took you home to his house for your first time together. Your flight would leave tomorrow from Atlanta to your honeymoon. You could’ve stayed at a hotel in Atlanta, but Shane was excited and wanted to take you home to his home.

You’d been in his house a thousand times. It was like a second home, but now it really was your home.

Eagerly he carried you inside.

Shane had confessed his past to you, and you knew a lot of it from when you were in school together. He’d been around the block several times, and when it came up that you wanted to wait, he agreed with no problems. He didn’t tell you, but that was the first time he’d ever carried a woman through his door. All the rest had been quick or drunken fumbling of the keys to get inside his house. The two of you would fumble for the keys in the future, but this first time, he carried his bride inside.

You were shaking like a leaf on a tree when you went into the bathroom to change into your lingerie. Nerves and excitement and adrenaline were all pumping through your veins. Shane Walsh was in the next room waiting for you.

You.

You’ve kissed him and made out with him more times than you can count. He’s seen you in a bathing suit, and you’ve seen him shirtless. But never like this.

When you finally came out, he whistled and he smiled. Not a smirky smile, a real smile.

He reached for you and pulled you into his lap and you shivered feeling his hands wander your body. He whispered compliments into your neck.

Shane went slow, so slow it was almost torture. The anticipation was killing you. Every touch, every glance, all to make sure you were comfortable and relaxed. He saw the glimmer of fear in your eyes over insecurities, but he also felt the way your body moved when he touched you.

He got you to relax, he got you to giggle even. He took such good care.

All you could think about was what your high school self would be thinking.

One thing was for sure confirmed, that Shane Walsh is good in bed. Granted he’s been the only one to make love to you, but it’s still true.

Emotional tears filled your eyes after as he held you and he shushed you gently.

“I’m so embarrassed for crying,” you laugh.

“Nah, don’t be.” He smiles warmly and kisses you.

The insecurities you had been worried about didn’t seem to matter much after that. Things still came up once in awhile, like after being married for three weeks and you didn’t get to shave your legs.

You’d been getting some ice out of the ice machine in the freezer, and one ice cube fell to the floor. The cube melted and you forgot about it. A couple hours later you walked back in the kitchen and slipped and fell. You caught yourself, but sprained your wrist in the process. It was your dominant hand and it was difficult to shave. It was a small thing to be embarrassed over but it was still so early in your marriage.

“Didn’t bother me then, don’t bother me now,” Shane mumbles in your hair as he pulls you into his arms. He pulls the blankets over your shoulders.

“It’s just lately it’s been quickies in the truck…in the dark. This feels like normal.”

“Except for this damn cold,” Shane smiles trying to make you feel better. “And darlin it’s dark in here!”

There’s only one candle in the room to provide you with light.

You snort out a little chuckle.

“Hey, look at me,” Shane says. He waits til your eyes meet with his. “You’re beautiful no matter what. Ok? Not gonna stop me bein’ in love with you because you didn’t shave. Didn’t stop me from what we did a few minutes ago did it?” he growls playfully and grabs a handful of your ass. You squeal and he laughs. “I’d wanna do it again too if I wasn’t so damn tired.”

You smile because you can hear the sleep in his voice.

“Maybe we can get up early in the mornin’?” he asks.

Your smile gives him his answer.

You wake in the morning feeling his lips blazing a trail up your body. By the time he’s done with you, your skin is covered in patches of beard burn.

You get dressed when you hear everyone start to get up and move around. They’ll be waiting to hear what Shane has to say.

“What is the plan today baby?” you ask him as you pull on your jacket.

“See what we can get from the house and the others nearby. We could probably stay here another night. Need to see what’s around the area.”

Shane repeats what he tells you to the whole group. Shane takes Glenn, Daryl, and Rick to get things from the nearby houses. T-Dog and Carl keep watch at the house. Hershel checks on Lori. Maggie and Beth bring clothes and toiletries from the rooms are all put into piles on the floor in the movie theater room.

You and Carol start separating the piles so that the clothes are spread as evenly as possible.

“So,” Carol smiles as she folds a shirt. “You and Shane had a good night it seems.” She nods to your neck.

You touch your neck in horror and feel your cheeks darken. But then a smile appears on your face and you nonchalantly adjust your glasses, “and this morning too.”

Carol howls in laughter and throws the shirt at you.

“I thought I noticed a spring in his step this morning,” Carol teases.

You smirk but bury your face in the shirt in your hands.

The laughing stops when you hear the unmistakable groans of walkers. You and Carol freeze and you pull out the knife you’ve started carrying.

The walkers are in the house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHANE HAS A BEARD NOW!! bless i've been wanting to get to beardy shane for so long yall don't even know


	16. Just Like the Ones I Used to Know

You open the door with Carol right behind you. Your knife is at the ready, and the second you open the door, you plunge you knife into the walker’s skull. Blood is pumping in your ears as your heart races.

Your first walker kill with that knife. You’ve killed other walkers with a gun, but not with this knife.

The walker falls and Maggie and Beth come into your sight.

“How’d that get in?” Maggie asks as you all go downstairs. There’s three more dead walkers on the ground in the living room, T-Dog and Carl had taken care of them.

“Latch on the gate is busted,” T-Dog says motioning to the walkers. “Wasn’t busted this morning or last night, but with 4 walkers banging on it…”

Carol sits down on one of the couches with a heavy sigh, “this was such a good safe place!”

You feel a wave of worry come over you, Shane is not going to be happy when he gets back. He’s already got so much on him, this is just something else to add.

“Let’s get all the supplies together and pack up the cars. That way we can be ready to move when they come back,” you tell the group. You know the way Shane thinks and you hope it’s the call he would make.

With everyone working together it’s not long before all the clothes and supplies are packed into the cars. It’s even colder outside today but everyone moves quickly to stay out of the cold.

“What’s going on?” you hear Glenn’s voice as he starts walking to the house. The rest of the men are not far behind. Shane has a bag slung over his shoulder and you spot a big lump in his pocket.

“Shane,” you call to him and his eyebrows crease in question.

“Walkers got inside the house,” you tell him with a sigh. “The latch on the gate broke. We’re ok, I managed to kill one with my knife.”

He sighs and combs his hand through his hair, “shit.”

“So I told everyone to pack up so we won’t lose anything like last time.”

“Good call,” he nods. “Wait,” he starts to crack a little smile. “You say you got one of the walkers?”

“Yes sir!” you giggle. “Stabbed it in the head like you showed me!” Shane had given you that knife awhile back and taught you a little on how to use it.

“Atta girl!” he kisses your cheek and he tosses the bag into the bed of the truck.

The group begrudgingly gets into the cars to move on.

You make light chatter with Glenn and Maggie in the backseat while Shane thinks. He’s white knuckling the wheel and you grab one of his hands and hold it in your lap. The tension on his face seems to ease and he gives you a tiny half smile.

The stress is all over his face and body language and it makes you sad. Makes you think of the days when he brought his work home with him. The weight he carried then, and the weight he carries now – both heavy on his mind.

Since the group had just been in a neighborhood, you knew there had to be a town nearby. Your assumptions are correct when Shane takes an exit to lead him into town. Right off the exit is a small motel.

“Shane!” you point.

“A motel!” Maggie calls out.

“Would that be safe?” Glenn asks Shane.

“If we board up the windows and doors, and stay on that second level.”

“Shane this is good!” you say and squeeze his hand. He nods but you know he’s still concerned.

It’s the same drill as always. The men and Maggie clear out the rooms. Daryl gets the keys to the rooms, and what rooms don’t have a key, he picks the locks. Everyone else gets the supplies and go up the stairs to pick their rooms.

You and Shane get a room on the end, and T-Dog and Daryl get a room on the other end. Glenn and Rick and Carl push the vending machines to block the staircases from walkers coming up the stairs. Shane tells everyone to knock three times on each wall to alert their neighbors if anything happens. Shane takes the first watch, and you keep your blinds open so you can see him outside.

He paces back and forth down the length of the hallway. You can see his breath as he breathes, and his hands are crammed into his pockets. The collar on his coat is turned up against the cold.

While you’re alone you examine the space. There’s two small chairs and a tiny table. The bathroom looks old and musty. There’s a dusty radiator in the corner and you’re so cold you long for electricity to keep warm. A couple candles keep the room lit and you sit by one for some warmth. You use the light from the candle to illuminate the book you’ve started reading.

You read for awhile and stop when you hear a knock on the door.

“Darlin it’s me.”

Wrapping the blanket tight around your shoulders, you hop up to unlock the door. Once he’s inside he pushes one of the chairs under the doorknob as another safety precaution.

“You’re never gonna believe what I got!” Shane grins. “When I’s on watch I went down to the main office and they had this! It’s a battery powered space heater! And it works!” He clicks it on and sets it down on the floor. It starts to hum and it almost makes you sad at how exciting this is.

“Got ya somethin’ else today too,” he says and reaches into his pocket.

It’s an unopened package of disposal razors.

You gasp and your heart swells.

“A heater and some razors?” you laugh, “It’s a Christmas miracle!”

“Hey it could be Christmas for all we know!” Shane laughs. “Looked like it was gonna snow when I came inside.”

“I’m just sorry I didn’t get you anyting!” you laugh. “You’d have found it anyway like last year.”

“You’re still not over that?!” he winks and shrugs his coat. The heater is starting to warm the room just a tiny bit.

“You ruined the surprise cuz you had to snoop!”

He shrugs, “I was excited!”

You roll your eyes with a laugh and sit back down in the chair in front of the heater. You curl up in the chair and sit cross legged. Shane sits down on the floor in front of you, and rests his back against your knees. He tilts his head back just slightly against your lap. Your hands weave through his curly hair and your fingers dig into his beard. You scratch his jaw and smooth your hand over his forehead and back into his curls.

“Will you read to me?” you ask and hand him the book. “My eyes are tired.”

“Yeah baby, what page you on?”

“92,” you answer and take off your glasses.

He flips to the page and skims a little. “Read this chapter last night.”

“You’re reading this too?”

He shrugs, “I like it so far. Don’t trust that chick though.”

“No spoilers Shane!”

“Sorry sorry! Let me read!”

You play with his hair and beard while he reads. He makes you laugh as he does different voices for each of the characters. He adds his sarcastic commentary on his opinions, you have to smack the back of his head a couple times. His response is to shoot his hand up behind him and tickle your stomach.

As he continues to read, your mind wanders to Christmas last year. It’s not too far off from this one – if it even is Christmas.

Last year, your heat had gone out at home. Shane built a fire in the fireplace, and you drank hot chocolate. You were so cozy in Shane’s sweatshirt and some sweatpants and you were all curled up in Shane’s arms on the couch as you watched Christmas movies.

You and Shane exchanged your gifts that night on Christmas Eve, and the next day you’d spend Christmas at the Grimes’s. Though Shane had ruined the surprise of all of his presents because he snooped and found them all. But you forgave him because of the thoughtful gifts he got you. And you couldn’t be mad because he was so excited to have you in his house for your first Christmas as a married couple. He hadn’t had someone hide presents from him since he was a kid – he always found those too.

Shane made up for it and kissed you plenty of times under the mistletoe. He loved all of his presents you got him. You’d hoped that would become a Christmas tradition – that you hide his presents each year to see if he finds them.

Now you’re spending what you can only guess is Christmas, in a run down motel.

“Hey remember that shitty motel we stayed at when we went to go visit your family?” Shane stops reading and looks up at you.

You smile remembering the horrible motel. You and Shane had taken a little road trip to see some of your family and on the way back you stopped at some random motel.

“At least that one had heat!”

Shane folds the page down on the book and sets it on the table. He settles back down against your back. He closes his eyes as your fingers continue to play with his hair.

“That damn bed squeaked so loud every time I rolled over on it.”

“Squeaked pretty loud when you did somethin’ else too,” you smirk.

Shane cracks open one eye to look up at you. He closes his eye and doesn’t say a word but you see a grin start to form on his face.

“Don’t know if I wanna test that,” you continue, still smirking.

“What about somewhere else?” Shane sits up and turns around to face you. He sits up on his knees and pushes the blanket off you. He grabs each of your legs and straightens them out. His fingers unbutton your jeans and he slides them off your legs.

You shiver when the cold air hits your legs….or was that a shiver of anticipation?

Shane puts your legs over his shoulders and he starts to kiss on your thighs. His beard tickles and scrapes and you’re already wriggling. He nibbles a little on your inner thigh and you let out a groan.

“Shh shhh shhh. Don’t wanna wake the neighbors,” Shane whispers against your skin.

That only becomes more difficult as he continues. Your hands tug on his hair and your body goes limp in the chair when he’s through.

Shane presses a final kiss to your thigh and stands to look out the window. He parts the blinds with his fingers and you see him smile.

“C’mere,” he motions to you.

Your knees buckle a little as you stand, and though he’s looking out the window he sees you out of the corner of his eye. He smirks.

You grab your glasses, wrap the blanket tight around your body, and you gasp when you peep through the window.

“It’s snowing! It’s a White Christmas!”

“Snowed last year on Christmas too,” Shane recalls as he sits down in the chair. “Cept this time I got a beard.”

“What does that have to do with anything?” you ask confused as you watch the snow fall.

“I’m more like Santa now.”

You turn to see him sitting in the chair and he’s got a huge cheeky grin on his face.

You close your eyes and sigh but you still smile.

“What you don’t wanna sit in my lap?” his grin gets bigger.

“Shane Walsh you are a-“

“A what?” he questions as he leans forward to grab onto your blanket to pull you towards him.

“A dirty boy,” you roll your eyes at the lack of a better comeback.

“Yeah?” he pulls you onto his lap. His lips go for your neck and his hands slip under your shirt. “Thought you liked that?” he whispers.

You sigh but then the chair wobbles and it startles you.

“Just a rickety chair,” Shane mumbles and continues kissing your neck.

“Shane wears your duffle?”

“Don’t need it,” he says and pulls a condom out of his pocket.

“Do you always carry one in your pocket?” you laugh.

“Always be prepared!”

“Ok Boy Scout,” you tease and comb your fingers through his hair earning you a good moan from his lips.

“Hey don’t laugh I was a boy scout.”

“You were?!” you smile.

“Hell yeah!”

“How did I not know?”

“Only did it for few years,” he shrugs.

“That’s so cute,” you smile and kiss him. “And…I’m glad you are prepared.” You purr and start to unbuckle his belt.

The next morning a blanket of snow has covered the parking lot. When you and Shane get dressed and go outside, you smile as the others enjoy seeing the snow.

A single set of footprints are in the snow walking diagonally across the parking lot.

“Walker?” you ask.

Daryl is standing nearby and he answers, “Yeah, y/n, you see how the tracks drag?”

“Yeah!”

“That’s how you can tell it’s a walker.”

You ask Daryl a few more tracking questions, you figure you might need to know this stuff. When you finish talking to him, you see Rick talking to Shane.

“What’s up?” you ask Shane as soon as Rick goes back to his motel room with Lori and Carl.

“Lori’s real tired. Thinks we might should stay her a while so she can rest up.”

“Shane?” Maggie walks over. “Don’t mean to interrupt.”

“Nah, ‘s alright.” Shane pauses to let her speak.

“I think I know where we are, we used to play this team in football when I was in high school and I remember coming to this town for some games. If I’m right, there should be a little drugstore across the way over there. Glenn and I could go for a run?”

“That’d be great Maggie,” Shane nods.

You’re happy seeing Shane’s face brighten, finally something good.

“What do we need?” she asks.

“We need batteries, and check and see if they got any battery powered space heaters. I found one last night, maybe they got more? That’s all I got, but ask around, especially Hershel, see if Lori needs somethin’. You need anything y/n?”

You shake your head ‘no.’

“Alright,” Shane nods with a smile at Maggie. “Good work. If y’all aren’t back in an hour or so we’ll come check on y’all alright?”

She nods and writes down what Shane said on the motel paper pad she found in her room.

“What are you thinkin?” you wrap your arms around Shane’s waist as he leans against the balcony railing.

“Think we should stay here awhile. See what Maggie and Glenn bring back. Maybe go exploring in the town tomorrow and see.”

You rest your head against Shane’s back as you hug him. He turns around and looks down at you with a smile. Your nose and cheeks are tingling from the cold, and he presses gentle kisses all over your face. His lips linger on your forehead while he looks over the peaceful snow-covered parking lot.

A sharp clang in the stairwell causes him to jerk and look to the direction of the sound.

“What the hell?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christmas chapter!!!
> 
> Sorry it's been so long w/o an update! I'm already working on the next chapter! Thanks to all of yall who are sticking w/ this story! I appreciate all the feedback and comments~


	17. Ranger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since an update!! With all the Punisher news coming out my head has been spinning!! I'm hoping to update this more often, hopefully once a week! I can't believe I've already written 17 chapters and I'm not done yet!! Thanks yall for sticking with this story so far!

Another clang hits the vending machine.

“Get behind me,” Shane whispers harshly as he nudges you behind him. He takes a step forward. With precision, he aims his shotgun and steadies the weapon in his hands. His shoulders tense when the clang is louder, but he lowers the gun when he hears a sound you don’t hear.

He hesitates before he slowly moves the vending machine – but just a fraction. He peers through the gap between the wall and the vending machine.

Shane chuckles and kneels, “hey buddy.”

“Uh Shane?” you stand bewildered watching him.

Shane sticks his fingers inside the gap and you see a black wet nose of a dog sniff him.

“Shane?” you question again. This dog could be aggressive, and you don’t want Shane getting bitten. But you trust him, so when he pushes the vending machine over to let the dog in, you know it’s ok.

The dog is a black lab, and he’s wagging his tail happily at Shane.

Shane is smiling and he offers his hand to the dog’s nose to let it sniff him again. When the dog licks Shane’s hand, Shane kneels to pet the dog more fully.

Snow is sticking to the black fur of the dog, but it doesn’t seem to notice. It’s happily wagging it’s tail and its tongue is hanging out like it’s smiling.

“Does he belong to someone?” you ask, still a little nervous. This dog could have owners who come looking, or this dog could still be aggressive to others.

“He’s fine, come on,” Shane tells you. You offer your hand to the dog and he sniffs you. His tail doesn’t stop wagging.

“Do you think his owner is nearby?” You notice a collar around his neck. Shane fiddles with the tag. Still kneeling, Shane turns to look over the parking lot below. He sees the footprints Maggie and Glenn made as they headed into town just moments ago. “Tag says the name of this town. And he’s kinda skinny, may have been scavenging a while.”

“What’s his name?” you kneel to scratch the dog behind his ears.

Shane grasps the tag between his fingers and a huge grin sweeps across his face.

“You’re never gonna believe this!”

“What???” you laugh in anticipation.

“His name is Rick.”

“Are you serious?” you laugh. “Hi Rick!” you smile and pat the dog on the head. You look up to see Shane’s shoulders shaking from laughing. “What?”

Shane lets out a loud laugh and claps his hands together in amusement.

“Shane! Are you pulling my leg?” you laugh. Your heart aches to see him laugh so heavily. He’s not had a good laugh in a long time.

“His name is ‘Ranger.’” Shane tells you for real this time. When Ranger hears his name, he barks happily.

“Awww,” you whine, “He hasn’t heard his name in a long time.”

You and Shane are petting Ranger when you look up to see Beth sticking her head out her door.

“I heard a dog bark,” she giggles.

“C’mon,” Shane nods her over. Moments later Carl comes out too. Ranger is beside himself getting kisses from you and Beth. Carl and Shane pat on him and his tail is wagging nonstop.

“Shane?” Carl asks. “Can we take Ranger out to play in the snow?”

Shane touches his beard in thought, and a tiny mischievous smile appears on his face.

“Go tell your parents where you’re gonna be. Y/n and I and Beth are coming too.”

Sharing a look of excitement, you and Beth squeal happily.

“Daryl? You mind keepin’ watch?” Shane asks. Daryl nods and leans against the balcony looking over the snow-covered parking lot.

Shane pushes aside the vending machine and goes out first. He doesn’t say it, but you know it’s just in case walkers are in the stairwell. Ranger bolts out behind Shane; while you, Carl, and Beth aren’t far behind. Daryl pushes the vending machine back as you exit.

Shane takes your hand as you walk together down the stairwell. Ranger is barking happily at Shane’s heels. Beth is laughing at something Carl said. You smile as you hold Shane’s hand, it really does feel like Christmas. Maybe it’s just because it’s the happiest you’ve been in a long time, but something feels magical.

Ranger runs around in circles in the parking lot, Carl and Ranger chase each other happily. Beth makes a snow angel and playfully scolds Ranger when he messes it up. You have your arms wrapped around Shane’s torso and enjoy the happy moment.

You lean up to kiss him when you feel the ice cold snow pelt your face.

“We’ve been assaulted!” Shane laughs. He kneels to scoop up a snowball to throw it back at Carl. “Daryl you’re supposed to be on lookout!” Shane calls up to Daryl.

Daryl just smirks and shrugs. Shane throws a snowball up at Daryl, but he ducks. Another snowball hits Shane in the gut, and with a look of shock on his face he sees it was Beth who threw it.

“Oh it’s on now!” you laugh and throw a snowball at Carl. The hit is deflected when Ranger jumps up and catches the snowball in his mouth.

“Hey!” you laugh.

Snowballs are flying everywhere, so much snow is in the air you almost don’t realize when it starts snowing again. You look at Shane with a smile and see the snow is sticking to his beard.

Shane’s about to kiss you when you hear Daryl’s voice.

“Walker!”

Daryl aims his bow and waits for a clear shot.

“Everyone behind me!” Shane commands. Beth, Carl, and you do as he asks without question.

Shane has his shotgun, but he waits for Daryl to shoot. Shane calls and whistles for Ranger, but Ranger is barking loudly at the walker. He bares his teeth and his ears flatten.

Ranger backs up and stands right next to Shane, and directly in front of you. The squeal of the arrow sounds and the walker drops dead. Ranger doesn’t move from in front of you until he realizes the walker is not getting back up again.

Realization comes across Shane’s face as he looks at you.

“Good dog,” Shane pats Ranger. “He’s already protective of you. Think we’ll keep him around.”

After all the excitement Shane calls for everyone to go inside. Everyone’s noses and cheeks are red from the cold and Ranger’s black fur is covered in snow.

A few hours later Glenn and Maggie return with more supplies than the group knows what to do with.

“Looks like we found a good spot. Good work Maggie,” Shane nods.

“It really does feel like Christmas,” you tell Shane as you slide into bed that night. Shane hums in agreement and lays down on top of you. His head settles on your chest and he sighs deeply. Your fingers dig into his curls and your actions lull him to sleep. Ranger comes up for a cuddle too, and Shane snorts out a laugh when he feels Ranger give him a lick on his forehead.

“Was that you or Ranger?” Shane teases and squeezes his arms tight around you.

“Shane how could I lick your forehead from this angle?” you giggle. “And why would I lick your forehead? Plenty of other things to choose from to lick.” You tease.

“Shiiit,” Shane breathes out.

“Sorry!” you giggle, “you were almost asleep, go back to sleep,” you rub his back a little to soothe him.

“Yeah well you started talkin’ dirty, I’m awake now,” he lifts his head and looks you in the eye. He rests his chin on your sternum and blinks up at you.

“Would it be weird if Ranger saw us?” you joke and scratch Ranger behind his ears.

“Nah,” Shane scoots up to kiss your neck. You gasp and Ranger perks up his ears.

Shane lets out a laugh and presses his forehead against your chest while he shakes with laughter. He props up on his elbow and reaches to pat Ranger.

“Relax bud, I ain’t hurtin’ her.”

Repositioning himself at your neck, Shane continues his kissing. His hands wander over your skin under the covers and your body is tingling.

When you finally go to sleep, Shane is on your left and Ranger is on your right. Safety and security was on your mind as you drift off to sleep.

You can only wonder how long it’ll last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY HAVE A DOG NOW!!!! I've been excited to introduce Ranger into this story! 
> 
> Sorry this chapter isn't as long, it's more of a transition one.....chapter 18 is going to be a big one! I'm really excited!


	18. Sticky Notes

Phones ringing and the buzz of chit chat fill your ears as you step inside the police station. With familiarity, you walk straight for Shane’s desk. He’s not there yet, so you sit in his chair.

Smiling you look at all the things on his desk. There are stacks of folders, and one file is open in the center of the desk. He’s got a couple framed pictures of you and him on his desk, one is a wedding photo, and the other is a quick picture he took when he kissed you by surprise. His screensaver on his computer are more pictures of you and him, they shuffle through, and you watch to see what pictures he has chosen.

A clatter makes you jump, and a pencil lands on Shane’s desk right in front of you. In surprise you look up at the ceiling above Shane’s desk and see at least a dozen pencils stuck into the ceiling. You shake your head but smile, Shane is easily bored if he has to sit still for a long time.

While you wait, you open up the drawer with the keyboard inside, and you see a line of sticky notes on the top of the keyboard. All of them are notes you’d written when you brought him lunch. You have one on his lunch for today, which is the reason you’ve come to the station.

“Well hey darlin’!” you hear a loud voice behind you. A smile sweeps across your face and you spin in the car to face him. Shane rests his hand on his desk, and with the other he cups your face. His thumb rubs across your cheek as he places a tender kiss on your lips. “It’s not nice to snoop ya know,” he teases as he stands back up.

“You can’t talk Shane, I heard about what happened and you finding all the Christmas presents,” Rick laughs and pats Shane on the back as he walks past him to his own desk. “Hey y/n!” Rick smiles.

“What’s with all the pencils?” you ask though you know the answer.

“Boredom,” Rick quips and sits down at his desk. Rick pulls his lunch out of his drawer and unpacks everything neatly.

Shane, before sitting down, shoves his hand into the lunch bag you brought and takes a huge bite of the sandwich. You and Rick exchange a look, and Rick rolls his eyes making you laugh.

“What?” Shane asks with his mouthful. You stand up and squeeze Shane’s bicep as you press a kiss to his cheek.

“You’re a mess Shane.”

He flops down in his chair with a happy sigh. Before you can react, Shane pulls you down into his lap.

“Yeah but I’m your mess,” he purrs into your neck.

“Lucky me,” you tease.

When you first started seeing Shane, and would come visit him at the station, sitting in his lap made you shy. You thought others would be looking at you and you didn’t want that attention. But now after years of it, you’ve grown to love it, and you’ve found you don’t care with people think about it.

“Thank you for lunch,” he smiles as he takes off the sticky note to put it with the others. His arm is wrapped tight around your waist, and he kisses your cheek before he lets go so you can stand.

“Have a good rest of your day,” you smile and kiss the top of his head.

Lunch days like that were your favorite. Now half the time you don’t know where your next meal is coming from. At least once a week Shane looked forward to you bringing him lunch. Now every single day the group looks to Shane for food. You miss being the one to bring it to him, to bring a little joy to his day.

Of course Shane is not alone in this, Daryl is a major provider of food. But Shane still has to make calls on figuring out the next step and when and where to proceed.

You and the group stayed at the motel all winter, and for most of the spring. It’s late April/early May when you have to leave.

Daryl is on watch, Ranger is with him.

You wake when you hear Ranger bark, and not too long after, Daryl is banging on your door. Shane jolts awake, Daryl’s knock was the one the group practiced to alert each other of danger. You and Shane throw on clothes and cram all of your stuff into Shane’s duffle and your backpack.

In a matter of minutes, the group is packed and ready to leave. You all exit the back way, and pile into your cars as quickly as possible.

Daryl had spotted on the horizon a large group of men, and he didn’t want to take any chances.

For the next couple weeks the search was back on for a place to stay. The weather was warm and nice so being outside wasn’t too bad. The main concern is Lori, she’s almost due. She needs a safe location, and Shane has this in mind.

One afternoon, the group stops on the highway to evaluate supplies and determine the next best route. A map is spread on the hood of Shane’s truck, and several pairs of eyes are looking over it. A decision is made, and everyone splits up to get some water and repack up supplies.

Daryl and Shane trek off into the woods to hunt a little.

You lean against Shane’s truck looking over the map again, Ranger is sitting at your feet. Nothing really stands out at you, but you’re not even sure what to look for. Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear Shane whistle. It’s a signal to gather everyone up. As the group comes back to the cars, Shane comes up behind you.

His hand presses gently to your back, “I think we found the place,” he whispers.

With a smile on his face, Shane tells the group that him and Daryl found their new home. Everyone piles into the cars and follow Shane towards the new location.

“It’s a prison,” you say when it comes into view.

“Spent my entire career puttin’ people in jail and prison, now I’m trying to get in one,” Shane chuckles as he parks the truck.

Shane grabs some bolt cutters, and snaps the wiring on the fence to climb inside. As soon as everyone is inside the gate, Glenn and Daryl tie it off.

Gravel crunches under everyone’s feet as they run to the gate to enter the prison yard. Shane gives instructions, and everyone scatters to distract or shoot walkers when he runs for the gate across the prison yard.

“Be safe,” you tell him as you slide open the gate. He kisses you swiftly and darts off for the gate across the yard. He shoots walkers as he runs, and in moments he’s closed off the gate, and is climbing up the stairs to a watch tower.

Those few moments watching him run made you sick with worry, but relief came over you when you saw him pop up in the watch tower.

Once he was safe in the tower, Daryl calls for everyone to fire at all the remaining walkers in the yard.

And finally, after the gunfire had ceased, there was quiet.

A victory.

That night around the campfire there is peace. Beth sings a song, and everyone is relaxed.

Except Shane.

He’s been walking around the perimeter of the prison yard, looking for any hole or snag.

“That’s his third time around,” Hershel notes with a smile. “if there was any part of it compromised, he’d have found it by now. Or that dog would have,” he says with a laugh.

Ranger is at Shane’s heels, he’s sniffing along the perimeter as Shane walks.

You stand and walk over to Shane and Ranger. With a sigh you reach for him, he hugs you tight.

“Brought you some food.”

“Thank you darlin,” he says and takes the small bowl from you.

“I’m so proud of you,” you tell him.

“I’m proud of you! I saw you shootin’ walkers in the yard today!”

“I had a good teacher,” you grin. “you ok Shane?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinkin’.”

“About what? We’re safe in here now. Probably safer than we’ve been in a good while.”

“Not that.”

Your brows crease in confusion.

A small smile curves onto Shane’s face.

“Just thinkin’ about how our wedding anniversary is comin’ up.”

“That’s what you were thinking about out here?” you blush. You know something else is bothering him but you don’t push. He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

He shrugs.

“Weather is nice, and it made me think, it must be that time of year.”

Slowly you wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down for a deep kiss. His beard tickles your cheeks, and you blush when his hand slips down and grabs a handful of your butt.

“Shane!” you giggle, “the group is right there!”

“Nah they’re too far away to see, ‘sides can’t ya hear Beth singin’? They ain’t payin attention to us.”

“You need to eat!” you poke his chest.

He smirks as he takes a bite of food, there’s mischief in his eyes and you don’t miss his innuendo just from that look alone.

“Do I get a note with this food?”

“You see any sticky notes around here Walsh?” you quip back.

“What would you have written then sassy pants?” he jokes with a grin.

“I’d tell you how proud of you I am, and also how I can’t wait til we have some time alone.”

“Oh yeah? For what?”

“Celebrate our anniversary of course!”

“We’re alone right now…” Shane teases and looks around.

You burst into a laugh and Shane laughs along with you. He takes your hand and walks you back to the little campfire.

“When we get settled inside, we’ll celebrate properly,” he whispers before you get to the camp.

You sit down on a stretched-out blanket, and Maggie gives you a little grin. She saw the kiss.

Shane settles down next to you and as soon as he sits down, Rick says, “Shane, we need to talk.”


	19. Honey, I'm Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long since an update!! Hope yall enjoy this chapter!

Shane gets up and follows Rick a bit away from the camp. Cold sweat forms on your brow. The last time Rick and Shane were alone in a field at night – Shane was stabbed.

Your face gives you away, and those around you try to put your mind at ease.

“While you and Shane were makin’ out over there,” Maggie winks, “Rick suggested that we try and push inside tomorrow.”

“Why did Shane need to talk to Rick privately then?” you shift in your seat.

Before your question is answered, the pair come back to the little campsite.

“Alright y’all. Try an’ get some rest. Got a big day tomorrow,” Shane tells everyone. “T-Dog you wanna take first watch?”

Worry is still on your brow when Shane settles down next to you.

“Lay down darlin, c’mon, it’s ok.”

He pulls you down gently into his arms. Not caring that the group is around, he presses your back to his chest. Everyone is too tired to care or notice. And even if they weren’t, nothing is surprising about your husband holding you tight. Especially these days.

Shane squeezes your hip once and you laugh quietly and he chuckles in your ear. He presses a quick kiss to your ear and reaches up to take off your glasses. He folds them and puts them above your heads so they won’t be crushed if you roll over. You try not to allow the darkness and how blurry everything becomes when your glasses are off to scare you. You shiver slightly and Shane tightens his arm around you.

“Don’t think about it,” he whispers. You nod and reach for his hand to squeeze it. Finally you relax and sleep follows soon.

It seems sleep is the only time you can truly relax. You’re comfortable in Shane’s arms and you feel safe. But when morning comes and you have to get up and face the day; it scares you.

It reminds you of when you and Shane were first married. Sharing your space with him was new and exciting and you quickly grew accustomed to his presence in your life. Being married to Shane was drastically different than when you were dating. Somehow your worry for him only increased, but so did your love for him.

Everyday when he left for work it was a battle to let him walk out that door. You live in a small town, but that doesn’t mean things don’t happen. Your husband is smart and brave and you admire his strength but it pains you to let him go to work sometimes.

The hardest was the first time Shane went back to work after your honeymoon. For a week and a half you’d had Shane all to yourself. You’d never had 10 days quite like that in your life. It wasn’t just about the sex (though that was a major part of it), it was just you and Shane, just enjoying each other’s company. You’d never felt so loved, and never had such a thrill as having Shane Walsh in your bed.

But now you’re back to regular life, and you have to let him go. It’s an ache you didn’t know you would hurt this much.

“I don’t wanna go to in if that makes ya feel better darlin,” Shane smiles as he adjusts his gun belt.

“I didn’t say anything!” you smiled back. How did he know?

“Yeah I guess I have that effect on women,” he winks.

You shoved his arm but your hand lingered on his bicep. Fiddling with his shirt sleeve you sighed.

“Hey, look at me,” with his finger under your chin he titled up your face. “This past week and half have been some of the best days of my entire damn life. I gotta go to work, but listen, the fun ain’t over darlin. We gotta hell of a lot more left to do. You think I showed you all my tricks in the past ten days?” he winks again but kisses you gently. “I know what you’re thinkin’ and I hate that you’re worryin’ but damn if it doesn’t feel good to know I got someone worryin’ about me. Never had that before.”

Tears begin to fill in your eyes and you wrap your arms around him for a hug.

“I ain’t gonna tell ya not to worry, but I am gonna tell ya that when I get back home you’ll have me all to yourself. I’m gonna miss you like crazy today baby. It’ll be ok.” He kisses your head and gives you one more squeeze before he takes his keys and heads out the door.

You remember how long that day was waiting for him to get home. That constant worry nagging at you something bad would happen.

Now you’d do anything for that worry. When you wake up on the cold ground in Shane’s arms by a campfire, anxiety floods your mind. Shane is going to lead the group into the prison today. Walkers are everywhere but there is too much potential that the prison holds to let it pass him by.

A hug and a good luck kiss is exchanged between you and Shane before he leads Rick, Maggie, Glenn, Daryl, and T-Dog into the gates of the prison.

You along with everyone else stay along the fence and wait as you watch them go inside the prison. Ranger doesn’t leave your side and it’s a small comfort, but not being able to see Shane is tearing you apart.

After hours of waiting, Shane comes out and gives the go ahead, and the group goes inside the prison. You take Shane’s arm as he leads you and the others into the cell block.

He explains that he and Daryl both have a set of keys, and he gives instructions for everyone to go ahead a pick a cell to sleep in. You smile seeing the relief on everyone’s faces that finally there is a secure area.

“Where’s our cell?” you ask. Shane nods and with a tug of his arm he leads you towards your cell. It’s the first cell by the door. The door will always be locked, but you know why Shane picked that location.

Shane whistles and Ranger is quick behind your feet. You let go of Shane’s arm when you walk inside the cell. You set your backpack and Shane’s duffle down on the floor and sit down on the bed.

“Might be a little snug,” you laugh.

“We’ll be extra cozy,” Shane winks.

Ranger starts to bark, and it echoes loudly in the cell block. Shane scolds him but when he sees Ranger is barking at the cell block gate, Shane takes that as a sign to investigate.

Shane takes Rick, T-Dog, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, and Hershel this time as they go out to look for the infirmary and hopefully the cafeteria. While they look they will see what has Ranger spooked.

That means more waiting for you and the others.

So you focus on the task at hand. Unpacking clothes.

Home is where Shane is, and this little cold prison cell is a home if Shane is there with you. But you’re going to do your best to make it feel less cold and less like a prison cell. So you start unpacking things. There can at least be some organization even if there’s not anywhere to put anything.

You did the same thing when Shane went to work that first day. A lot of your stuff was still in boxes. Shane had cleared some space for your things, and he’d told you to just move whatever you needed to. You put on some music and got to unpacking.

You’d been so into your work and so busy that when Shane got home you didn’t even realize what time it was.

You were back in the bedroom when you heard Shane holler, “honey, I’m home!” then you heard a little snicker. Laughing to yourself, you jumped up and ran to greet him at the front door. You pratically leapt into his arms but he anticipated and caught you.

Neither of you could get a word out because hands and lips were everywhere. Shane was kissing you with such need it made your head spin. Your hands were grabbing for any buttons to unbutton, yours or his. You weren’t sure which of you took off his belt or who unzipped your jeans, but between moans and hot kisses clothes were shed. You barely made it into the living room before you were laying on the couch with Shane on top of you.

When it was over Shane remained on top of you, he was propped up on one elbow and his other hand was lightly tracing your face.

“’Honey, I’m home’?” you laugh after you finally caught your breath.

“Yeah then you’re supposed to ask how my day was,” Shane teases back. “Hey don’t look at me I’ve never been married before!”

The two of your burst into a fit of giggles.

“How was your day though?” you asked combing your fingers through his thick black hair.

“Boring as hell. Shit girl I missed you so bad.” His fingertip traced your kiss swollen lips. “You get your stuff unpacked?”

You nod, “that’s why there’s no dinner. I lost track of time. And I’m starving too,” you laugh.

“Somethin’ happen that made you work up an appetite?” he flashes a grin. “We could order takeout? Cuz darlin I’m not sure I’m ready for us to leave this couch.” He purrs in your ear and kisses your skin right below it.

“Your phone is closer,” you laugh looking at the mess of clothes on the floor. And you’re right, his pants are closer to the couch than yours.

Shane sticks his arm off the couch and reaches for his pants but they are just out of reach. He keeps reaching for it and before you can even process it, Shane’s fallen onto the floor in a naked heap.

You start screaming with laughter when you hear the thump and Shane’s groan.

“Are you ok?” you laugh.

Shane’s head pops up and he’s trying to scowl in anger but he’s smiling too big.

“Only hurt my pride.”

You reach for him and rake your fingers through his hair, “I love you.”

He cracks a smile, “I love you too.” He leans up to kiss your forehead then your lips. Then he turns to sit down on the floor and reach for his pants to get his phone. He rests his back against the couch as he dials the number.

While he orders the food, you sit up behind him and run your hands up and down his chest.

When he hung up he turned around, “you trying to distract me while I’m on the phone?”

You smile feigning innocence.

“Oh so you wanna play dirty is that it? Next time you’re on the phone see how calm and collected you are when it’s my hands on your chest.”

Your smile turns to a deep blush. You’re still newlyweds after all.

“Or we could practice right now…” Shane wiggles his fingers a little and climbs back up on the couch.

It’s been two years and you still flush at the memory. And though you might have “practiced” Shane’s hands on any part of your body sets a fire in you that you’ve never been able to tame.

You’ve organized the prison cell as best you can but it didn’t take as long as when you moved into Shane’s house. Shane is still gone and there isn’t much else to keep your mind busy.

So you go to talk with Carol to ease your mind. You chat with her for a while and she’s hoping to teach you some things about helping Lori with the delivery of the baby. You’d like to help out if you could.

“How are you doing?” Carol asks.

“I worry,” you reply with a soft shy laugh.

“You’re Shane’s wife, you’re entitled. He works hard. I think we’ll be safe here.”

But as soon as Carol said that, the gate door open and they wheeled in Hershel. There was a huge commotion and you saw a glimpse – Hershel is missing his leg.

The group starts to crowd around the cell where they take Hershel and Carol speaks up asking for some space. Shane hears her and helps clear out the cell.

Shane catches Glenn by the arm, “be strong for Maggie,” is all he says, but Glenn understands.

After awhile things settle down and it’s time for bed. Shane does a final sweep and finally after all day, you have your moment of peace with Shane.

“Honey, I’m home,” Shane whispers as he walks into your shared cell.

You can’t help but laugh.

“How was your day?” you ask in a silly voice even though you do mean it.

“We’ve had better days,” Shane says with a sigh. “the highlights are there’s other men in the prison, and Rick cut off Hershel’s leg to save his life. Something is bothering Rick, but I can’t worry about it right now.”

You can see the exhaustion on Shane’s face. Everything in you is screaming to express your worry. Because the last time Rick was “worried” Shane got hurt. But you know Shane knows, and you don’t want to add to his stress anymore. So you slide over towards the wall as best as you can to leave room for Shane on the small bed, and keep your mouth shut. He lays down on his back, and half of your body is on top of his. He reaches up to hold your face in his hands and he blinks sleepily at you. You pet his beard and play with his hair and you watch sleep take over.

“I’m sorry I can’t keep my eyes open. Feels so good,” he mumbles.

Lightly he starts to snore and you smile, finally your boy is getting some well-deserved rest. You snuggle into him as sleep takes you too.

Shane is up before you, but he hasn’t gotten out of bed. You wake feeling his beard tickling your face and neck as his lips press kisses along your skin.

“Sorry I feel asleep on ya last night,” he whispers.

“You deserved rest! Now kiss me,” you whine.

“Yes ma’am,” he growls and his hands slip down to take off your pants.

Your shirts stay on, but pants and underwear are slid down to your ankles. A sheet covers your lower halves and Shane claps his hand over your mouth while he moves his hips.

“Only got time for a quickie darlin,” Shane whispers, his beard tickles your neck and you moan against his hand. You nod, you don’t care what kind it is, you just want this intimacy with your husband. An intimacy you haven’t’ had in a while.

With a sigh, it’s over almost as quickly as it started but for now you’ll take it. No matter how long it is, Shane always leaves you quivering and content. He kisses you deeply as he gets up and whispers a promise to take you up to the watchtower tomorrow for some longer private time.

Someone calls for Shane outside, and your moment of bliss is over. Shane’s tugging on his pants and his boots.

And the cycle over concern for your husband starts all over again


	20. Navy Blue Shirt

“You ready?” Shane asked.

You laugh. “What? It’s the Grimes’! Not like we’ve never been to their house!”

It is a little different, it’s your first time going over to their home for dinner now that you and Shane are married. You have a plate of brownies in one hand, and Shane’s arm in your other. 

Shane’s got a bottle of alcohol in his hand. He grips the neck of the bottle and releases his pointer finger to ring the doorbell.

“So that’s what it sounds like!” Shane teased. He’s never rang their doorbell in his life. He has a key to their house.

“Shane!” Carl smiled as he opened the door.

“Hey bud, what’s goin’ on?”

“Mom broke the sink and Dad made it worse!!” Carl’s cheeks are stained with tears from laughing. “Ooh are those brownies?”

Shane laughed, “we better go see what’s going on. Rick?”

Shane walked on into the house and straight for the kitchen. He set the bottle down on the counter and you heard Shane’s snicker before you came inside.

The kitchen sink was spewing water.

You set the plate of brownies on the table, and hand one to Carl while you watch the mess in the kitchen.

Shane tugs on his pant leg, and pushes up the sleeves of his navy blue shirt as he kneels to assess the damage. Water is everywhere, Shane’s hair and shirt are already dripping.

“Rick hand me that will ya?” Shane points to a tool on the counter. A few moments later, the water stops. Shane stood and his entire front is soaked. He shakes his head in disbelief, but he’s smiling. Rick and Lori are both soaking wet too. You and Carl continue to eat brownies at a safe, dry distance.

“Shane let me get you some dry clothes,” Lori laughs.

“Hey! Save me some!” Shane points to Carl and the brownies. 

Shane reaches for you, acting like he’s going to hug you. You squeal in protest, and laughs as he dodges your attempt to smack him. He presses a wet kiss to your cheek as he follows the Grimes’ upstairs.

Moments later you hear Lori snicker when everyone comes back down.

Shane’s wearing one of Rick’s t-shirts, and it’s a size too tight.

“Whoa,” you breathe as you see Shane. He quirks an eyebrow, he knows he looks good. But he also feels a little ridiculous. The shirt sleeves cling to his biceps. The fabric on his chest is straining, his shoulders are so broad the shirt is stretched.

“You’re gawking y/n,” Rick teases. “I don’t know if I should be jealous or not.”

“If I flex at all I think the shirt might tear,” Shane touches his arm.

“I don’t think y/n would complain,” Lori laughs, “Shane, your shirt’s in the wash.”

With a laugh, Rick invites everyone to the table to finally eat dinner. The conversation is full of laughter, mostly about the events of the sink. Rick tells you and Carl a story about how Shane saved the Grimes’ washing machine once.

“Anything gets broken at y’all’s house? You got the right man to fix it,” Rick nods at his partner. A small smile forms on Shane’s lips, but you beam with pride.

As you wait for Shane’s shirt to dry, you all gather to watch some tv and chit chat. Shane sits in ‘his’ chair with a happy sigh. Carl hops in the big recliner with a smug grin. Rick and Lori sit on the couch, and you look around the room for a spot.

With one finger, Shane makes a little motion to you. With a smile you sit on his lap and curl into him. You were already planning on sitting in his lap anyway, but his offer warmed your heart.

“Grosssss,” Rick teases. Lori shushes him, while Carl laughs.

“Shut up Rick, you’ve never done a thing like that in your life.”

Buzzed from the company, and the alcohol, Rick with a glint in his eye starts to tease Lori. “Come sit on my lap, darlin’.” He imitates Shane, and you all laugh.

“That was pretty good,” you cackle.

Shane tries to be mad but you laughing so hard makes him smile too much.

The buzzer for the dryer sounds, and Lori hops up to get Shane’s shirt.

You sit up a little as Shane reaches for the shirt. The fabric brushes your arm and you feel the warmth.

“Hop up babe, I’m gonna put this on,” he kisses your cheek and squeezes your sides affectionately. He peels off the tight tee, and puts on the freshly washed shirt. You have to pick your jaw up off the floor from watching him. Shane looks at you with a warm smile, but Rick and Lori see your flushed face.

“She’s always like that,” Shane teases and pulls you in for a hug. You smell the fresh scent of his clean shirt. His body and the shirt are warm.

His shirt is still unbuttoned, and when you pull away, he fans the shirt a little. He’s already hot natured and putting on a warm shirt has him feeling uncomfortably warm.

“You get your plate?” Shane asks as you get ready to leave.

“Oh! Thank you for reminding me!”

Shane says his goodbyes and thanks while you get the empty brownie plate. Shane holds the door open for you while you thank the Grimes’ for a nice evening.

Shane takes the plate from you, and grabs your hand with his free hand. His shirt is still unbuttoned, and the cool breeze flaps the shirt a little.

“Breeze feels nice,” he smiles leading you to his truck. 

He sets the plate on the hood of the truck and digs in his pocket for his keys. The breeze blows again, and you get a chill. Shane laughs.

“You’re cold, and I’m hot.” He unlocks the door and goes around the truck to open the door for you. You’d already reached the handle, but he playfully slapped your hand away.

“What are you doing?” you giggle.

“Opening the door for you,” he shrugs, but slides his hand around your hip. “C’mere,” he whispers and places a soft kiss to your lips. He opens your door, and holds your hand while you get inside.

When Shane climbs in the car, you reach for him. Your hand gently touches his forehead.

“You are a little warm, you feeling ok?”

“Just hot for you,” he says with a wink. You scoff and shove him.

“I’m serious! Do you feel ok?”

“I’m fine, I promise. Don’t worry darlin.” He picks up your hand and kisses the back of it. “They just have their heat up too high.”

You snort out a laugh.

“Rick was right though, I got a good one. I might have to break something just to watch you fix it.”

“I think I’m the one that married good darlin. You’re a way better cook than Lori. Don’t tell Rick I said that.”

You snort again. 

“They are really fun. Carl’s a good kid.”

Shane nods in agreement. You know he loves when you’re all together. He didn’t have much of family growing up. The Grimes and you are his family. 

Never did you think you’d be with that same family trying to survive together.

You think about that as Shane does a final sweep of the prison that night. You’re with him, and you see Carl sleeping peacefully in his bunk. Makes you think of that little kid eating brownies sitting in a big recliner.

These past few days have been crazy.

The group found the infirmary, and food. But unwanted company was also found.

Shane didn’t tell you much, because you didn’t want to know. But you had a feeling there had been bloodshed. The point is that a deal had been made, and your group got half the food; while the other prisoners had to stay in their own cellblock.

Once everything had been squared away, Shane wanted to keep to his promise to you.

To take you up in the guard tower for some time alone.

He grabbed the prison keys, his shotgun, and a sleeping bag. You followed behind with a flashlight to light the way.

“I feel like we’re in high school sneaking out or something,” you giggle.

“You never snuck out in your life,” Shane laughs.

He makes sure it’s clear, then he leads you up to the guard tower.

Your eyes adjust and you look over the whole prison yard.

“You sure we’re safe up here?” you whisper.

“Darlin you don’t gotta whisper,” he smiles.

You shift your weight.

“Hey,” he stands and holds your face gently. His forehead touches yours, “I’m gonna keep you safe. And we’re safe up here. All the doors up here are locked and bolted with chains. Only thing you gotta worry about gettin’ ya, is me.”

“Ok,” you nod with a smile.

“Atta girl, c’mon now help me set up our little bed. We need that.”

Once everything was set up, you clicked off the flashlight to save the battery. Shane reaches for your glasses to take them off. You trust him, you always have, and you always will. Shane knows you can’t see without them, the dark doesn’t make it any easier.

“You good?” he asks before he does anything else. You see him dig into his pocket and toss something onto the floor. He sets your glasses down next to what you see now are a couple condoms.

It’s dark and blurry for you, but you still can make out Shane’s ever present smug grin.

Shane undresses you slowly, and you do the same for him. It’s been so long since you’ve been able to enjoy each other.

He lays you down, and kisses every inch of skin he can get at. You want to sigh, but you’re so used to holding it in.

“Nuh uh, none of that shit. Don’t gotta be quiet out here darlin,” he purrs and bit down on sensitive skin. You cried out, and you felt him hum. “That’s more like it.”

His knuckles brush your skin and give you goosebumps. Shane’s firm passionate touch sends you into a high. Your cries, and his groans fill up the guard tower. You already know that Shane will have marks from your nails on his back tomorrow.

When you wake in the morning, Shane’s already got his lips on you. You go for another roll in the sheets before he gets up to go back to his duties.

He’s tugging on his pants when you hear voices below.

“Where’s Shane and y/n? We could use some help,” Carol asks.

“The guard tower.” You hear Daryl say.

“The guard tower?” Rick asks.

“Yo!” Daryl calls and Shane steps out, only in his pants.

“You coming?” Daryl asks with a laugh.

“We already did,” Shane winks at you.

“Shane!” you shout. The whole group below laughs.

“We’ll be right down,” Shane hollers back.

“What are they doing?” you ask getting dressed.

“Movin’ cars inside the gate,” Shane tugs on his navy blue button up, “might start going on runs soon once we really get settled. Besides we need more.” Shane points to the condom wrappers on the floor.

You shake your head and follow Shane down.

The group gets to work. You kiss Shane briefly and go inside to see if you’re needed there.

You walk in the cellblock to see Lori, Carl, and Beth helping Hershel to stand. You smile with the others as Hershel is able to walk with his crutches outside.

‘Finally,’ you think. Today will be a good day. As you and Lori help Hershel down the steps, you see Ranger happily following Shane’s heels. The group is happy for once. You hear Glenn cheer off in the distance.

There’s a moment of happiness, but it all goes downhill when you turn around. Walkers are headed straight for you.

You hear shouting, gunshots, and walkers growling, but over all the noise you hear Shane shout your name. You fire a few shots at walkers, but move to get inside. Maggie and Shane show up together to help.

Maggie gets Beth and Hershel safe, and Shane gets you, Carl, and Lori safe down another hallway. Lori leans against you while Shane and Carl have their guns ready for walkers.

Lori shouts in pain, and you know what it means. Shane hears her and turns to see her leaning against you.

“In here!” Carl calls. Shane dips and picks up Lori to carry her into the boiler room.

An alarm goes off, and Lori starts to panic.

“Lori you gotta relax,” Shane sets her down.

Everything started to happen so fast. You helped Lori get her pants off, and helped her lie down.

“Shane,” you whisper.

He looks over to you and sees blood all over your hands.

Shane lets out a breath and rubs his head.

Lori told you to cut her open. Shock took over her and you. You watched with tears in your eyes as Lori said goodbye to Carl. You clutch Shane’s arm and he squeezes your hand. Flashes of memories pop into your head of Lori soaking wet in the kitchen that day. Or when you hugged her tight when Rick was in the hospital. Or the smile Lori gave you at your wedding.

After she said her goodbye to Carl, you and Shane each took one of Lori’s hands. You both squeezed and she nodded, that was your goodbye.

You took a deep breath, but Shane took the knife from you. He made the cut, and you began to cry when you heard Lori’s shouts in agony. She passed out from the pain, and you helped Shane get the baby out of her. You felt the baby first, and gently pulled the baby out. While you patted on her back to get her to cry, Shane took off his shirt to wrap around the baby. Cuddling the baby girl to your neck you let out a sob as the baby cried.

“We can’t leave her! She’ll turn!”

“Let me do it bud,” Shane offered.

Carl told him no.

You felt your heart sink in your chest. You weren’t there when Carl was born, but you know Shane was. You’ve heard the stories.

He’s been present for both births, and now he’s here to see her death. He’s ‘seen’ Rick die before. You can’t imagine the emotions Shane feels. 

Shane nodded at Carl, and turned his back to get you and the baby out. When you heard the gunshot, you saw Shane close his eyes tight. Carl walked past you and his expression was blank, though his cheeks were stained with tears. Your tears wouldn’t stop.

Then you walked outside, T-Dog had been bitten and was gone. Carol’s missing. And now you have to watch Shane tell Rick that his wife is dead.

You see Rick before he sees you, the baby cries in your arms and you see Rick turn around. The look of horror on his face is something you’ll never forget.

Rick calls Lori’s name and starts to run inside, but Shane grabs his arm to stop him.

“Brother, wait.”

Rick looks at Shane, then to the baby in your arms, then to Carl. With a pained cry Rick realizes what happened and he collapses to the ground in sorrow. 

Crying yourself you cradle the baby and lean into Shane’s embrace.

The day had started out so wonderful, now you look around your friends – your family, and see grief on everyone’s faces. Shane holding you is the only comfort you feel while you shield this baby. 

The cries from the baby, and Rick’s sobs echo across the yard while you all watch in silence and shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time! Sorry it's been so long!! I've been wanting to write this chapter for a long time. Hope yall enjoy!


	21. Seconds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been awhile since there's been an update, in the last chapter, Shane and his wife helped deliver Judith in the prison.

A knock at your door alerts you that Shane is waiting. This will be your second date with him, and you’ve already memorized the sound of that knock on your door. Your heart races, you still can’t believe this is real.

You open the door to see the handsome face of your boyfriend. He’s got a big smile on his face, and flowers in his hands.

“Hi!”

“Hey sugar,” he grins and hands you the flowers.

“These are my favorites!” you gasp. “How did you know?”

“Shit, I’m glad I was worried it’d be too cliché.”

“They’re beautiful, thank you!”

“You’re welcome darlin. Put those in a vase, and we’ll get goin’ yeah?”

You open the door a bit, to let him into your apartment. Since you’ve just started dating, and everything is new – this is Shane’s first time in your place. He leans against the counter in the kitchen waiting for you to get a vase. While you get it, you drink in his appearance. Shane’s got on a nice button up shirt. The sleeves are already rolled up and that makes you smile.

“I’d offer to get it for you, but I don’t know where anything is yet,” Shane looks at you with a smile.

“We’ll have to fix that won’t we?” you reply, but flush at your own boldness. Busying yourself, you place the flowers in the vase. You admire the flowers for a moment, then nod to Shane that you’re ready to go. He takes your hand in his and leads you out the door.

“Rick and Lori can’t make it tonight,” Shane tells you walking down the hallway.

“Oh no! How come?”

“Babysitter cancelled at the last minute. We can reschedule a double date again, but I didn’t see the need to cancel our date.”

“I’m glad you didn’t,” you squeeze his hand, happy with his choice.

A dimly lit restaurant awaited the two of you on the rainy evening. The two of you laughing while Shane tried to shield you from the rain.

“You need an umbrella!” you laugh buckling your seatbelt.

“I know,” he replies with a smile, quickly closing his car door. “I keep forgettin’, until I need one again.”

You make a run for it into the restaurant, and the hostess directs you to your seats. Shane waits for you to sit and get settled before he sits himself. His brown eyes glance at you, and you want to hide behind the menu in shyness. You feel like you’re in high school again. Though Shane is not the boy he was.

The curly haired boy who stole your heart is a strong, kind man. He’s still got that smile and those eyes, but his jaw looks more square, and his shoulders are broader than you remember. His arms are ten times better than his young 17 year old self.

All teenagers had an awkward phase, but you’re pretty sure Shane never had one.

“What looks good?” Shane asks glancing from the menu to you.

You think to yourself, ‘he does.’

“I mean, besides you of course,” Shane grins. Your blush doesn’t go unnoticed.

On your first date the week before, most of the conversation was the two of you catching up. This date made you more nervous than the first. However, Shane carried the date rather well. He asked all sorts of questions and enjoyed listening to what you had to say. He told stories and you remembered silly things from when you were in school. Whatever nerves you had seemed to melt away with how comfortable he made you feel.

His smile is warm, his laugh makes your heart sing, and you have more in common with him than you realized. Fifteen minutes were spent discussing a favorite movie you share.

You’d worried after all these years that your love for him was just a fantasy. But this date set your mind at ease, you didn’t fall in love with him for some silly reason. It was a wonderful reminder of the things you did love, and now the list grows as so many good things have changed.

The rain is beating heavily on the window of the restaurant. Spooning a last bite of dessert into your mouth, you suddenly feel the nerves come back. Shane had already paid the waitress, and soon the date would be over. He’d take you home and that would be the end of it. And you weren’t ready for the end yet.

As if he could read your mind, he followed your gaze out to the rain.

“Wanna go with me to get an umbrella?”

Nodding, you smile. Your heart might burst from the invitation. Somehow that meant more to you than the dinner.

At this point there was no protecting yourself from the downpour. Holding hands you laughed and ran into the grocery store.

Shane grabbed a cart, and leaned his weight on the handlebar. His back was soaked, and his muscular back was easily visible.

“Need any groceries?” Shane teases tossing some items into the cart.

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Come on, I know a delivery boy.”

Matching his grin, you shrug and toss in some snacks.

“Atta girl.”

“So who is this delivery boy?” you say with a knowing smile, “is he cute?”

“Devishly handsome is the term I’d use,” Shane teases.

Playfully you smack his arm, but you don’t move your hand away. Slowly you slid your hand into the crook of his elbow. You exchange soft smiles, and Shane wheels the cart to get the umbrella.

“What color?”

“Shane, there’s 3 options,” you giggle.

Black, rainbow, or a knock off fancy looking pattern.

“Should I model them for you?”

Your laughing gets louder, you try to stifle it with your hand, but the laughter bubbles out.

“What about this one?” Shane opens the rainbow umbrella and spins it behind him. “They say it’s bad luck to open umbrellas inside, but I don’t see how that’s possible with you laughing like that.”

Shane turns, and knocks a couple things off the shelves with the end of the umbrella. Your laughing only grows, and he joins you.

“Shit that’s probably why,” Shane drops the umbrella to pick up the fallen objects.

He grabs a black one and tosses it in the basket. Giggling like children who pulled a prank, you both leave the aisle and move to the checkout.

The umbrella goes to use, Shane holds it above your head while you both carry groceries to his car.

“Let’s get you home.” Shane’s statement is warm, but you feel an ache in your chest. It’s a small town, your apartment is less than ten minutes from the store. For now you push the feelings aside and enjoy the last few minutes of conversation.

At the exact same moment, you and Shane realize he’s made a mistake. Not thinking, Shane had driven to his house.

“Habit,” he laughs and starts to back out of the driveway.

What he didn’t tell you, is that he drove home not because he forgot you were with him, but because being with you felt so natural.

“Wait,” you stop him. “We can at least take your groceries inside.”

“Alright,” he nods and parks his car in the garage.

Small moments like this become routine, and monotonous to some. Yet all you can think of is the dozens of times you imagined what it would be like to help Shane take in the groceries.

He only purchased a few things, and he takes as many as he can carry, leaving you only one bag. With his elbow he hits the light switch in the garage. He unlocks the door and hits the light switch inside.

You follow him to the kitchen and set your bag on the counter with the rest.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’ll be just a second.”

Smiling to yourself, you sit down on his couch. Shane is rustling around in the kitchen, and this moment is exactly what you pictured.

Once he’s done, he walks into the living room and a grin appears on his face.

“What?” you flush.

“Nothin’ you just look so adorable on my couch.”

Before you can get up, Shane sits down next to you. One hand cups your face and you feel the air leave your lungs.

This is it, he’s going to kiss you.

His eyes give him away, they look at your lips and you feel yourself quiver. He looks back up to your eyes, and holds your gaze. He’s waiting for you to say no, or to pull away. When you lean forward he takes that as his answer. Shane leans forward to meet you, and when you feel the heat of his lips against yours, you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat. Closing your eyes, you want to memorize this moment. You used to dream about this first kiss. It wasn’t your first kiss ever, but it’s your first kiss with him.

When the kiss breaks, your cheeks are hot. His smile is almost shy.

“Been wantin’ to do that for a long time,” he breathes. Almost like he’s relieved.

You forget that Shane wanted to date you in high school, his fear was that you would think it was a joke. You weren’t the only one who dreamt of that kiss.

Leaning forward again, you want to taste him but you don’t want to overdo it either. Your hand rests on his bicep and he leans in again for another kiss. This time it’s more heated and your head is spinning. His lips part slightly, and his hand slides up your side. His hand cups your breast for a moment, but when you gasp he pulls away.

“Shit sorry, too fast,” he apologizes.

“It’s ok,” you tell him, though your heart is pounding worse than before. You’d daydreamed about that plenty of times too.

“You just feel so good, and after years of wanting to hold you….” He trailed off.

“Shane,” you whisper. “I need you to know I’ve never been with anyone.”

He looks up at you, softness in his eyes.

“Why?” he asks aloud, but you don’t think he meant to.

“They weren’t you.”

His smile is a mix of pride and bashful.

“But now that I have you,” you pause, you still haven’t’ calmed down from the kiss and his hands on you. “I want to wait.” Your breath is shaky, Shane’s known for the women he’s had. And anxiety fills your veins in worry that this is when he’ll turn you down.

“Ok,” is his simple answer. He leans forward and pecks your lips gently.

“You’re not upset?”

“Why would I be upset sweetheart? For the first time in a long time someone wants to enjoy things and take it slow.”

At first you were shocked by his answer. But as you’d date and eventually marry, you realized Shane was tired of the fast women. That system didn’t work for him like he thought. Being with you was better for him than he ever hoped.

You remember him taking you home that night in the rain. You ran the kiss and the touch over and over in your mind before you went to sleep. You’ll never forget that moment. You’ll never forget how even though you were sad Rick and Lori couldn’t join you for the date, part of you was glad they weren’t there.

But now you’ve never missed them more. You’re cradling Rick and Lori’s newborn baby. Rick’s in such a state of shock, that Shane can’t even get him to focus. Grabbing an ax, Rick disappears back into the prison.

“Alright yall we gotta take care of this baby,” Shane tells everyone. He’ll get to Rick later.

Daryl and Shane get things going, and the baby becomes the priority. Daryl takes Maggie on a run to get food, you hold onto the baby with everything you’ve got.

Shane takes you all inside the cellblock. Carol is presumed dead, and T-Dog and Lori are both gone. Rick is MIA, leaving Shane, you, Hershel, Beth, Glenn, Carl, and the baby. Daryl and Maggie will be back soon.

“Let me see her,” Shane smiles taking the baby from your arms. Ranger sniffs the baby curiously, and you pat him for being so good.

“Carl, c’mere.” Shane nods, “I remember the first time I held you.”

Your heart ached seeing Shane cradle the small baby girl while he comforts Carl. Her little hand wrapped around Shane’s finger as she whimpered.

“I know, I know sweetheart,” Shane cooed and shushed her gently. He rocked her slowly to calm her down. “Ya know Carl, your parents used to call me over to calm you down. Apparently I could do it better than they could. I think they were just lyin’ to me so they could go nap.”

Carl smiled, for the first time that afternoon.

A little while later, Daryl and Maggie arrived back at the prison with the supplies.

Maggie and Beth fixed up a bottle, and Daryl got the honor of being the first to feed the baby.

“She got a name yet?” Daryl asks.

Carl shyly lists of the women in the group that had been lost. He followed the list with “I don’t know.”

“We’ll think of one, bud,” Shane pats him on the back.

“Little ass-kicker,” Daryl smiles, getting the group to laugh. Even Shane’s lips quirk into a big smile, even though he scoffs at the name.

After she’s fed and situated, the group disperses to their cells after the long day. Alone, you go to your cell – Shane goes to check on Rick.

Slowly you ready yourself for bed. The events of the day don’t fully hit you until your head hits the pillow. You lie awake feeling your handles tremble. Tucking your arms against your chest, you face the wall, your back open to the rest of the cell.

Shane’s quiet when he comes in, but he can tell you’re awake though your back is to him. With a sigh he lays down next to you. His body becoming a shield. His chest is pressed to your back, one of his legs covers yours. A strong arm holds your body to him, he can feel your trembling.

“How’s Rick?”

“He won’t come out, didn’t even say a word.”

Shane kisses the back of your head. He knows a simple “how are you?” is not enough, but he asks you anyway.

“We delivered a baby today. I should be happy but the cost.”

“I know,” he breathes.

“I only wish we could have a family, but not in this. I used to dream about us having a family. But I’m happy with babysitter Uncle Shane.” You smile at the end, and snuggle closer to him. “So was that true? Did they really call you to calm down Carl?”

“Hell yeah,” Shane whispers with a laugh. “I was the best babysitter. I’d babysit for ‘em when they’d go out.”

“They were lucky to have you. They still are.”

Shane squeezes you in a hug in response.

“I’m lucky to have you, and maybe someday we’ll have one of our own.”

“Whatever happened to that umbrella you bought?”

“Which one?”

“That one you got on our second date. You modeled them all for me.” You remember with a laugh.

“Oh yeah! It’s still at the house. What made you think of that?” he chuckles.

“That was when I knew I wanted to see you be a dad.”

A gentle kiss is pressed to the back of your head. He hums then starts to laugh softly.

“Second date and already had babies on your mind?” he teases. It makes you smile, after the horrors of today, and the past several months – Shane will always make you smile. Even if it’s brief, it brings you comfort from the terrible things.

“Oh that’s good coming from you!” you tease back. “I seem to remember you getting handsy on your couch.”

“It was an accident!”

“Shane Walsh, you have never done anything like that on accident,” you giggle.

“Ok that’s fair, but I did apologize. This one is definitely not on accident.” He purrs and slides his hand up under your shirt.

He doesn’t say it, but you know it. You’ve been where he is. You’ve seen Lori when she thought she lost Rick. You’ve almost lost Shane. You know that Shane must be thinking of the loss Rick is feeling right now. You’re safe in Shane’s arms, he’s got you laughing, and he can feel your heartbeat under his fingertips. Rick won’t probably won’t sleep at all tonight. If he does, his arms are empty.

“Love you darlin,” Shane whispers before he goes to sleep.

Rolling over to bury your face into his chest, “love you,” is whispered against his skin. Tears fall from your eyes. You’re thankful for him every day, but tonight you’ve never been happier to be in his arms. Tomorrow will be another difficult day, for now you’re as content as is possible.


End file.
